Any tips to make my daughter feel happier around me?

[crazymaisie]

I am 16 weeks pregnant and my daughter is only 16 months. I have had numerous pregnancy complications, extreme nausea, bleeding, an amino to check for problems. As a result of all of this it means my daughter as been with my husband and my mother far more than usual. She's normally very happy to be around us all and enjoys the different interaction between all of the family.

Since I've been 'out of action' she has been quite wary of me. Cries if my dh leaves her alone with me. Never comes to me if she's hurt or upset. I understand this is a natural reaction to the circumstances and it is nobody's fault but it breaks my heart. I'm feeling a lot better and I'm hopefully on the mend and my husband needs to put more effort into work these next few months.

So how can I make my dd more comfortable with me? Should I keep on trying? Or should I step back and hope she'll come to me? I know it sounds dramatic but I miss her so much.

Thank you for reading!

Step up and do as much as you can with her. Ask your husband to take a back seat where possible.
Days out just you and her. Take her swimming for some skin to skin bonding time.

Due to our work patterns me or my husband tend to look after our little one more all or very little rather than balanced (he works long days Wed/Thurs/Fri) and I work night shifts so work then sleep over a couple of days. My little one (also 16 months) will play favourites very quickly with whoever has had him after a day or so. He soon swaps over when our work pattern flips. So basically don’t worry your daughter will soon adjust to you being back in action.

My son loves to get out and about (he will bring you his shoes - reminds me of how a dog will bring you his lead wanting to go out) and you can definitely get into his good books taking him out. Spend some time with your daughter doing what she loves to do and you’ll be fine.

Hope you are feeling better

I'd try not to take it to heart. Get something new to do so she focuses on that rather than it being awkward. Trying new food together? New toys or going to a different place?

I had this a bit when I was pregnant too (I have an 18 month age gap) and I was very sick and had back problems meaning my husband had to take time off work to look after our son. Ds1 started to definitely favour him, would cry when he left the room when I was right there, wouldn’t be comforted by me. It was heartbreaking for me. He was my little best mate before and we did everything together. I am very glad to say it didn’t last. I just kept doing what I was doing, showing him as much love and attention as I could and he came back to me. He’s nearly 2 now and we are as close as we ever were. One bit of advice I would give you is when the baby comes along people always want to take the toddler off you to give you a break and so you can bond with the baby. I would try to equally pass the baby onto them so you can spend one on one time with your dd too. Don’t worry. It feels so horrible at the time but you are her mummy and she loves you even if she’s not showing it and she will come back to you. This won’t be forever.