Severe background - how can I get back into work?

[NewLifeWanted]

I don't want to go into details here because my case is very extreme & I am facing the prosecution of my abuser later this year. But to give you an idea, I come from a background with similarities to Elizabeth Fritzl. I am nearly 30yrs out of work. I've spent the last 4 years in constant therapy & will be in weekly therapy still for perhaps the next 1 or 2 years. I have no family for support & few friends. I really need to find work now. I'm trying to not feel absolutely terrified but the world has totally changed in this time. I used to be an office manager. I have a brain but no qualifications. I don't know whether to try for a real job & have a decent (albeit small) reliable wage coming in, or whether to try & be self-employed? I'm in my 50s for reference. I thought perhaps I could be a cleaner & build up my own little business? I like practical things & I could work alone. I like decorating too but I worry at my age I might not be able to manage it physically like young people do. What would you do in my shoes? I feel very nervous that I won't be accepted in the real (work) world, everyone has degrees & years of experience. It's taken an enormous amount of therapy to even consider putting myself out-there.

Didn't want to read and run, you sound extremely brave and I wish you luck. Your own business would be a great idea, you wouldn't have to answer to anyone and you would be your own boss so could take time off for appointments

I work for a charity and we don't require a degree and would allow time off for therapy. Do you need to work full-time?

There might be somewhere near you offering free courses like European computer driving license that might show you had made an effort to update your skills.
Admin type jobs might suit you.

The only thing with cleaning is you're often lone working. I have colleagues who have done that and with their good instincts and people skills they managed to get out of dodgy situations. I have zero instincts, shit boundaries and negligible people skills so it wouldn't be for me.

I like working in my charity because there are no men in the workplace, as well as due to the fact I feel I make a positive difference.

I got into the job after a long break but I did get volunteering experience.

To me, I think that confidence, stability and consistency should be your main immediate aims for a job.

With that in mind I would spend a couple of weeks, months if at all possible looking for the right short term job with a really really great team. A boss that supports you, other people in a team you can get in with. Apply for a lot and make sure that you interview them as much as they you. You're bright but need to get back into normality.

From there I suggest you consider your next move, slowly. But you have time to work and plan towards it.

My sister is a cleaner and she finds it lonely, inflexible and physically difficult so I would think youd need to be in a stable mental state before you became self employed in it but perhaps you could find a job within someone else's team for now.

Big hugs, you're doing amazing to be free. Protect your mental health at all other cost

self employed is the way.

People on here suggest admin jobs like they are so easy to get into these days..they are like gold dust here in london. you'd be competing with current experiences or fresh faced uni grads.

You could also volunteer for a charity for a few months. sometimes jobs come up and it might help with your confidence too.

volunteering also means flexibility and routine. They will be much more flexible when you're not feeling great or make mistakes.

Self employment is a good goal once you are stronger as there is a lot of juggle like your own admin, finances and taxes, adverts and promoting yourself, plus the physical toll. You would be on about 12-15 an hour, maybe managing 4 hours a day of cleaning realisticly.

Could you speak to your nearest Women’s Aid to see if they have any resources/contacts for skills training or getting back into work? As others have said I think volunteering to begin with is a very good start.

You sound like an amazing woman OP, and I wish you a future filled with happiness

I know I'm capable of doing something it's just I don't know what. I feel like an infant-school pupil & I wish I had a teacher to take me by the hand & show me how to start. I'm at a point now where I feel the need to take the next step back out into society - for my good mental health.

1k a month would cover all my expenses at the moment - that's my goal. After that in the future, I hope to build on this.

What about volunteering just to get your confidence up a bit and to try out some things? and could maybe lead to doing a course either online or at local college. May even be funding available.

1K a month would be £250 a week, so just under 30 hrs a week at minimum wage...

Have you been advised by the police or support workers to claim

www.gov.uk/claim-compensation-criminal-injury

The money could help you start up a business.

Why have you been left without support now that you have been freed?

I would volunteer for a charity for a few months doing admin if you possibly can, and then start applying for admin jobs.
Good luck. You sound amazing.

If you used to be an office manager I'm not sure the world has changed that much - just the applications used to provide the functions have. Do you know how to use Office 365? That's your first step for training- Word, Outlook, Excel, PowerPoint. Everything starts with this and it's your life skill, like driving.
Get that under your belt then if you're going to volunteer, make sure you target roles that will build on your training and put a nice solid chunk of experience on your CV. That's what I'd look for as an employer.
I'm seeing a skills shortage in London as a lot of people are leaving the UK due to Brexit and this might prove a good time for you OP.
Best of luck and keep posting as the women of Mumsnet are many and varied and will offer you fantastic support.

Yes the world has changed so much in 30 years. Its such misleading advice.

Hospitals are good places to get work experience as a volunteer. We often use volunteers for admin roles to give people work experience which usually convert to temporary work on our staff bank which are stepping stone to permanent jobs. Bank work in a hospital is very flexible.
Last year we had a woman returning to work after a 10 year career break who started in my office as a volunteer and is now employed as an apprentice and will convert to a permanent role in 18 months. Apprentice roles pay at 80% salary, give you a qualification at the end and are open to all ages.

Ps 3 days a week on a band 3 admin role (entry level) would earn £1000 in London or other areas which the high cost allowance.

@Pataya54 I don't think it's misleading advice. I have been working almost 30 years and I can compare the world of work then and now. I work in London in IT and recruit frequently so I'm not in some backwater who doesn't know what she's talking about. Train, gain knowledge, practice, volunteer and network as much as possible.

I would begin with a part time job in a supermarket just to build your confidence. The work is routine, simple and you interact with people, plus you leave work at the door. Something like your own business can be stressful so please consider that. Much love and great admiration for how you are rebuilding your life xx

If you have no qualfications gcse maths and english will be available free to you. You could do those at a local college part time and perhaps volunteer or work pt.

Wow, you are amazing.

I would suggest talking this through with your therapist. It is a huge step and not at all separate from your life, if that makes sense.

Also, depending on where you live I would think that going for something very predictable might be good. It makes a huge difference if you can just get used to going to the same place Monday to Weds (or whatever), get used to the people, environment, clothes, etc. It would be more stressful not knowing what each week would bring. We have a local health food shop that is very quiet but has two member of staff always in there. Something like that.?

I think volunteering would be a good way to start. It would give you structure to your days without the pressure of trying to maintain a full time job. You could start doing a couple of afternoons a week then build up as you feel more confident. Good luck