Getting More Organised

[BiscuitDrama]

So there.

Anyone got any ideas?!

We are Too Busy. Children are behaving awfully.

I think we’re a bit chaotic too. Three primary school children. Me doing too much for them. So ideas for change that I have:

Breakfast is at a set time. If you want it before, make it yourself.

Roughly plan how the weekend looks, what we need to get done, what we want to get done, even if this is stuff like play board games and watch a film.

Sort out chores list so each child has an area of responsibility rather than it being a rota that I need to police.

Make sure DH and I talk through family issues regularly.

No tv after dinner.

Get youngest on board with a new, earlier bedtime.

Do something about them not getting off iPads after iPad time.

Argh.

Does this sound reasonable or am I turning into a Sargent major?
Anything else I should add that works for you?

Anyone got any thoughts? Pleeeease?

Well you've got a decent list there to start with. If you try to make too many changes at once you're setting yourself up to fail.

Biggest thing that worked for us with the DC at primary age was no playstation time until jobs and homework were done. We still only allow playstation/ipads etc on Friday evenings and at the weekends anyway so no computer time at all in the week unless its for homework purposes. Mine have phones now but are restricted to 15 mins a day game time for on the bus journey.

DC were then very keen to get their chore list completed so that they could have the screen time.

Never any tv/screen time in the mornings of any sort. Up, breakfast, dressed, school.

Bedtimes are fairly early in this house. DS2 goes up at 8.15 to read and lights out by 9 - he's almost 12. Lights out by 9.30 for DS1 (14).

Friday evenings we tend to watch a family movie. Saturday evening (unless we are out) we generally play board games. Sunday evenings are something like a nature documentary and then early night for the DC.

We always have a 'family meeting' after Sunday lunch where we go over plans for the week and anything else that need discussing.

Works for us but you have to find your own rhythm.

Sounds good to me. I try to do the same. Lists are good, but only if you look at them. The habit you need to try and develop is one of: check what needs doing first.

Primary age kids are capable of a lot. But, and here's the key thing, they need to be shown how to do something first.

I think a common mistake is to tel kids they have to do something in terms of the outcome desired, rather than the process involved. Then we wonder why they can't apparently do it.

Example: "tidy your room" vs "put your clothes away".

Tidying and keeping stuff tidy is also significantly easier if things have a place to live. Kondo has a lot of truth in what she says about putting things away nicely. Once you get it right, it's a pleasure.

That's a lot to implement at once, so I'd introduce one thing at a time and let that bed in firmly tbh! Otherwise you'll get discouraged when you (understandably, IMO) can't do them all every night.

Getting yourself up and ready before the children even wake up can be quite calming, although (again!) it's not always possible. But it might give you a feeling of control.

As much stuff as possible ready the night before (uniforms, schoolbags packed, permission slips/reading diaries signed and back in bags) to reduce the morning rush. Set place for school shoes, bags and coats (and car keys, if applicable) so you are not looking for the same stuff every day (this can be soul-destroying )

Channel the bright, breezy personality of a children's TV presenter and keep things moving along with cheery verbal reminders. No shouting - puts everyone (including you) on edge.

Things won't change overnight so don't expect that - see it as a gradual process of improvement. Also, bear in mind that they may not be up for a change so it may take some time for the other household members to feel any benefits - go easy on them, otherwise they will resent the new regime!

Good luck OP, it is possible - but there will always be one or two mornings that don't stick to the plan, don't beat yourself up about them!

One thing to try is to get a cheap whiteboard or to write on the fridge- if you put the kids jobs on them together with any special trips or equipment needed for a day it makes it easy to keep on top of stuff in the morning. Mine love updating and ticking off their lists. And if it gets messy you can erase and rewrite. Next level stuff is to use a permanent pen for recurring stuff like swimming on a Wednesday and erasable pen for the school trip on Friday.

Sounds good to me. Can your youngest tell the time yet?

iPad time. I go by the "if they don't put it down when asked, they don't get it next time" rule. And they're not allowed them on school days.

Tv goes off at 7am, only goes on after 5pm (unless it's really crap weather when I might allow it at 1630, I'm working from home or someone is ill). Turns off at meal time and not turned on again.

Breakfast is any time after 7. I clear the table at 745, irrespective of what's been eaten.

We don't have a chores rota but I do expect them to help when I'm cleaning so give them jobs as we go along.

Thank you! Lots to think about.