To have had enough of bed wetting

[GrandmaSharksDentures]

Ok, please hear me out, I'm at the end of my tether here.
DS is 6 (nearly 7) and has NEVER been dry at night. He's always been in nappy pants.
We've recently decided to try "encouraging" night time dryness by encouraging water during the day, cutting out squash, star charts. We've even been waking him overnight to go to the toilet (properly waking, not just lifting).

But still he is wet overnight 70% of the time - I just can't keep up with the washing. I'm having to wash bedding and duvet almost every day.
I know it's normal and x% are still bed wetting at this age but I just want the washing to stop

Sorry

Get a bed wetting alarm, years ago a very kind mnetter sent me one.
My DC was 11 and still wet at night, within one week was waking up to go to the loo
Amazing result

Are you still using a nappy? Have you seen the gp?

It's totally frustrating, but there's no one definite way of stopping it til he's ready. DS1 was around 8 before he was mostly dry through the night and almost 9 before it was 100%. We bought lots of spare sheets and bed protectors, so that we weren't always scrabbling about in the night to get things dried, and someone taught me to put the bed protector on, then a sheet, then another protector and another sheet so that if he did wet the bed, we'd strip the first layer off, clean him up and he could get back in with minimum fuss.

I don't know if your GP can offer much help or if it's a case of riding it out, but I do recall how hard it would feel, the absolute lack of control or support.

I don't quite understand the stress.

His body's clearly not ready - just put him back in nappy pants and try again in a few months. It's completely within the bounds of normal development at this age.

For what it's worth, my kid has only become dry recently aged nearly 8 - we tried without nappy pants about a year ago and it was a disaster, with several wettings a night for over a week. So we just explained.his body wasn't quite ready yet, no failure on his part, put him back in nappy pants and then tried again, at which point dry every night, even though he'd still been wetting the nappies.

He'll get there, but it'll be much less stressful if you put him back in nappy pants and then try again in a while. You can still do the more water during the day etc, but if he's not making the suppressant hormone it won't make any difference. And it's not recommended to wake them to wee, so don't bother with that

Dd was 8, she had medication to get dry. 7 is common so just put a pull up on until at least the summer hols

I totally understand. At one stage I was washing sheets, duvet cover and often pillow and duvet every day. We tried waterproof duvet and pillow covers but they just kept him awake with the rustling and his bed is on the other side of a very thin wall to ours so kept us awake as well.

We tried everything, lifting, waking, alarms, magnesium spray, excluded sugar, homeopathy,, nightly visualisations from the Stop Bed Wetting in 7 days book by Alison Easton. It took a lot longer than 7 days, believe me!! But we did get there, probably in about three months until he was fully dry. It was very hard work.

We gave up on waking him as he was so tired and so upset when we did plus we were exhausted too and he would often wet shortly after he went to bed. We just changed him when we went to bed if needed and then changed again in the morning. The whole house stank of wee!!!

The doctor told us that the only things that make a difference to bed wetting are time, medication, or training with a bed wetting alarm. If you're going to go to the bother of getting up in the night, you might as well get a bedwetting alarm as that has the best chance of training him. We're still working up to it - DD2 is just turned 7 and has started having some dry nights but it's one or two and then wet again. She still wears nappy pants as the GP said it didn't make any difference in most kids - they wee in their sleep, the wetness doesn't wake them up until they're really wet. (DD sleeps through everything including a soaking wet bed, she even pukes in her sleep which is both disgusting and quite scary. Nothing wakes her.)

My son only became reliably dry at night at 9 years old. We had some success with the bedwetting alarm but found that after a while he slipped back into wetting the bed again. It might be worth a trip to the gp but your son might just need a bit longer to grow out of it.

We stopped the overnight nappies at around the age of 6 though, which although was a pain with all the extra washing, I think helps in that they feel more discomfort rather than the safety net of the nappy. We lifted every night for quite a long time too to minimise the wet beds.

Dd1 was 13 when she was finally dry. Having a teen with periods who wet the bed was horrific.... for her.

He can't help it.
Get a referral to the clinic.
Go from there.

I do know how frustrating it feels though.

DS wasn't reliably dry at night until 12 or so (sorry!) so I do understand the frustration. As others have said, there's nothing other than time and maturity, the only things we were told reliably work are the alarm (which we tried on a number of occassions/different alarms but sadly didn't work for ds) & desmopressin (which we used and was effective until ds's hormone production kicked in and he didn't need it).

I'm not clear from your OP if you are currently using nighttime nappies and he's wetting through them, or trying to avoid those? We worked on the policy that we were really playing a waiting game, so - beyond the obvious stuff around drinking more; avoiding bladder irritants - we would do a stretch of 'working on it' (alarm; very consciously thinking about water intake; doing 'double wee' at bedtime etc) and then going with the flow and going back to nighttime nappies to give everyone a break, as ds rarely wet through those, and given that ds was totally capable of sleeping through a totally wet bed (& an alarm!) I didn't feel that the presence or absence of a nappy would impact on whether he was wet or not. We tended to do the work on it stretches when there was good weather too to make the washing/drying more manageable (I also bought a bigger washer, partly to manage home washing of duvets!)

At 7 you are probably nearly on the referral age, so it wouldn't hurt to see your GP and ask if they can refer you to a eurensis clinic (more helpful than consultant ime!).

I assume you are doing the double sheet trick (layer of bed mat; sheet; layer of bed mat; sheet) so that at least you only have to make beds half as often?!

Alarm worked for us. Until we were ready (8) DS stayed in pull ups.

Completely understand. I spent 1 summer holiday where i washed all bedding including duvet every day. thank god for argos cheapy synthetic duvets that dry in a few hours Neither of mine were dry until 7. DD was more self conscious about the trainer pants than DS and they are hot and uncomfortable for them. The bed wetting alarm worked for her and she only had 1 accident after that. (Prob more than a year later) The alarm didn't work for DS because he sleeps so deeply. The alarm woke everyone but him!! We did wake him to go to the toilet although he wasn't fully awake.

My son only just stopped bed wetting this year age 10. My younger son was pretty much dry at night from the moment he was out of nappies.

I know how it feels. DD1 wasn't dry until she left home at 17. We had waterproof sheets, but the alarm didn't work for us as the only person it woke was me. DD1 had/has bladder issues though, which didn't help. It is a case of layering the bed, as others have said and have a chat to the GP. I suspect it could resolve itself with your DS within the next year. Boys are almost always slower than girls at being dry at night. You have my sympathy though. All those broken nights take their toll. MY XH used to shout at DD1 as well, which just made everything worse.

When DS turned 7 we started medication. he was on it for 5 months, 3 at the maximum dose and it really didn't work. He was still wetting (we left him in nappies). We also really didn't like the side effects (very sleepy and put on weight).

We then tried the alarm and it is fantastic. We started seeing results withint a couple of weeks. 3 months later and he generally does 10 days without wetting, you need 14 before stopping using the alarm.

He no longer wears nappies and when he does wet, the alarm going off stops him weeing so usually I only need to wash his pants and PJ bottoms. in 3 months I've only had to wash his duvet once and that was cos he was lying face down on it.

Once he is seven he can be referred to enuresis clinic. That is the best way forwards.

Mine is the same. I've given up with washing them separate so have got similar colours and they all go in together. Even the duvet stays in the case so I can just shake it out rather than put it back in because I know I'll have to wash it the next day. I know it can't be helped but I feel your stress! 💐

Please just out the nappies back on. It's not worth the hassle really. I wet the bed until I was 7 and it was before pull ups and I would strip the bed and stuff the sheets into the linen cupboard (sorry mom!) But I was so ashamed.

OP the charity ERIC are very good and have a helpline.

My DTs weren’t dry until eight at night. Pull up and bed pads unfortunately. Nothing wrong with them but it’s important to remember that the hormones that stop you seeing in your sleep are a different system to the daytime dryness mechanism; and may kick in a lot later. Eric will tell you that lots of water in the day is definitely right - to train the bladder what full feels like, but lifting or getting a child up in the night won’t necessarily help. Counter intuitive, but they do need to feel a full bladder - and they won’t if they empty it at not full when woken

Please don't listen to the "it will happen when it happens" lot. You don't have to wait. There is nothing wrong with seeking medical assistance.

DS had a bedwetting problem (we kept it down a bit by taking him to the toilet at about 10pm) and I stupidly listened to Mumsnet and waited until he was 7 to go to the GP/school nurse. We had to keep a diary for two weeks and up his liquid intake. From the diary she decided that the problem was hormonal (he wasn't producing the hormone he should have been producing). She put him on Desmopressin and he took it for about 9 months (rarely wetting while taking it) and then stopped taking it. No wetting since then and he's now a teenager.

A friend went when her son was 6 and he was given an alarm, which helped.

I know the hormones and alarms don't work for everyone, but it is certainly worth trying to avoid the endless washing. Desmopressin can be taken from age 5. They just put it under their tongue and it melts. Some kids need a double dose, but my son had a single dose.

It was wonderful to only have to wash my son's sheets when they were due for a wash and not because they were wet.

Here’s the link to the bed wetting Guide from ERIC
www.eric.org.uk/Handlers/Download.ashx?IDMF=2389eff8-420a-45f1-956c-14f2323361f5

Another voice saying time is the most important thing, as their production of hormone increases they produce less urine overnight. Until then why not stick with pull ups. Good mattress protector, double up the waterproof mats and sheets. Instead of duvet would thin fleece blankets be warm enough as these wash and dry more easily.

Keeping - while desmopressin is safe from the age of 5, most areas won't prescribe until children are 7. But feel free to dismiss that as mere Mumsnet nonsense

All mine had pull ups till in to double figures..I wet the bed till I was 13 😭.so I knew that wasn’t a battle I would win.

I brought my DD to the Dr when she was 9 and still not dry at night, up to that point I wasn't concerned about it. She told me that the first thing to try is waking, the next is alarms, and the last resort is medication. We looked into Alarms and they seem to be very effective, but at present we are just waking her when we go to bed and that is sufficient for her. All that washing and drying is a lot of work and very stressful, your ds can't help it make it easier for yourself and continue to use pull ups or/and try an alarm.