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Help - fragile and in a tricky situ

8 replies

Mommabear118 · 09/05/2019 22:13

Basically, I was with my long term partner 4 years, we have a 2 year old together and in January I found out he’d been cheating on me all over Christmas so things ended, i’ve been devastated and only just started getting back on track, I’ve since moved out with our little boy. My problem is and please don’t pass judgment because I already feel like I’ve been a complete idiot but you do stupid things when you’re heartbroken. I met someone on a night out a few weeks ago and slept with him, I’m now 4 weeks pregnant😖 the “donor” would like nothing to do with me or a potential baby which is fine, I’m a single mum as it is my biggest fear is that I still (maybe I’m stupid) get on with my ex for the sake of our little boy, we still very much co parent and have kept it amicable. This will ruin that in my opinion, I have so much going on in my mind, my son is going to grow up with a dad yet this one wouldn’t, I won’t have as much time with him no matter how much I try, I will fall out with his dad and his family and that will be detrimental to my sons relationship with them I feel, I’ll be on my own with a new born and 2 year old (3 once baby would be born), my family are going to have an opinion that I got pregnant from a stupid fumble, I do however have a house of my own with enough room, money isn’t great but I’m not struggling massively, I’ve wanted another baby for months. I’m just so torn, I haven’t told anybody, I only found out yesterday. I really don’t know if it would be selfish for either outcome (continuing the pregnancy or ending it - I’ve always been against it for personal reasons but now I’m in the situation I’m in, there’s a lot to consider) I don’t really know what I’m after other than maybe someone who’s been in a similar position, someone who’s made the decision to have a termination and how it’s impacted them - honestly! Or someone to just see it from a fresh set of eyes, I don’t know but I’m lost and I’ve been through so much already this year. Thank you and sorry again for the length of the post x

OP posts:
Clockwatchers · 09/05/2019 22:18

Tell people it was donor insemination (not quite a lie). Sperm shipped in from europe with DHL.

Mommabear118 · 09/05/2019 22:20

I’m 22 and definitely not in the situation or mentality to have a baby or plan one and absolutely nobody would believe that unfortunately!

OP posts:
OldAndWornOut · 09/05/2019 22:23

Have you considered an abortion?
Only you can decide, I'm sorry, awful situation to be in.

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HotSauceCommittee · 09/05/2019 22:24

Your ex doesn’t get to judge you or know the circumstances of your conception. He cheated on YOU! You are a free agent, it’s non of his business and he shouldn’t get ANY say in this whatsoever. You are young, but you are also an adult.

Crunchymum · 09/05/2019 22:25

There are many choices open to you OP.

Not wanting to try and sway you but don't make any decisions right now.

TheSmallAssassin · 09/05/2019 22:28

When I was pregnant with a baby I hadn't planned and didn't really want, a kind friend let me know she'd had an abortion and it helped me realise that it was an OK decision to make. It is alright if you choose that path and you will be OK. I still feel relieved I made the decision to terminate (even though I had two children later with the father and we're now happily married to each other)

madeyemoodysmum · 09/05/2019 22:37

Who cares what they think. If you want this baby in your heart then it’s right. They will come around when it’s born.

Qwerty09876 · 09/05/2019 23:12

Op, the part about your ex, he and his family will not like the fact your carrying someone else's baby and the way they may/will react;

They are your EX family, yes you have a child together, yes you got pregnant with a fumble but you are/have moved on! Wether it be now or a few months/years you would eventually have another child (well possibly) they don't own you! Or have a say?!
He was dipping his stick every where so to be honest they would Hypocrites!

Do what you feel is right Thanks It's your mind, your body, your baby!

You have only found out yesterday and your head will be absolutely farting?!

Good luck Op ThanksThanks

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