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Help me figure out DH's weird health/food issues

33 replies

DesignforLife · 09/05/2019 17:18

Not sure if AIBU over DH’s illness or if wise MNetters may be able to pinpoint an issue that I’m not seeing.

I’ll be the first to admit that DH and I probably eat too much wheat. We eat a lot of pasta and also a lot of bread. Most meals seem to centre around wheat-based carbs if I’m honest, although over a year ago I cut out double-carbing much to DH’s disgust. He still moans about no longer having garlic bread with lasagne, pizza etc, for example. That aside, I think our diet is ok – we eat loads of veg, pulses etc, not many desserts and have a very active lifestyle. DH has a portion control issue and he snacks a lot more than me.

Anyway, the weekend before last, he suddenly announced that he believes he is coeliac. We had not long finished dinner of kebabs with pitta bread, salad and hummus. He also had two beers. He was showing no obvious ill effects but said his stomach felt uncomfortable. A few days before, he had caught up with an old friend who is coeliac and apparently his symptoms sounded similar. I didn’t completely dismiss him but pointed out all the gluten-based food he’s been eating all week without any problems and also googled symptoms, going them point by point noting that he didn’t really fit the classic pattern (no headaches, no rashes, no feelings of anxiety or depression, no vomiting or diaohrrea, no constipation and he was complaining of discomfort – not exactly doubled over in pain). He sulked all night that I wasn’t taking his illness seriously. The next night we had a roast chicken dinner. The gravy was made with flour and I bought a nice looking sourdough loaf – which I thought would do us all week but DH pretty much scoffed the whole thing, slice after slice. He then complained again of feeling bloated and uncomfortable, saying it was definitely coeliac-disease. Pointing out that he had perhaps just overeaten didn’t really go down well. We ate as normal during the week – we had pastas, ramen-style noodle dishes, quiche with salad which didn’t seem to cause any problems. Towards the end of the week I made halloumi burgers on ciabatta rolls with salad and about an hour after eating, DH starting claiming of discomfort again, saying it was because of the bread and he absolutely believed he must be coeliac. So, I decided that we would follow a gluten-free diet for two weeks and see if that made a difference.

I devised a meal plan, despite his moans about the content, but before we could start that we went to a party where DH ate loads of buffet items including pizza, breadsticks, bread with cheese, quiche, samosas, mini-pies, breaded chicken and at least two slices of birthday cake. He also drank beer all day and had had toast for breakfast beforehand. He said he felt absolutely fine afterwards. The following day, we had dinner with his parents. There was no obvious gluten-element on the main course but we had stuffed mushrooms, topped with breadcrumbs, for starter and again he drank a few bottles of beer. He had also had a sandwich for lunch beforehand. Again he felt fine. Our first gluten free meal at home (crispy chicken with potato wedges, green beans and asparagus) went down ok but he claimed he was still hungry afterwards so had some wheatabix. Still felt ok though. The next day I made a “pasta” bake with spiralised butternut squash “boodles” which he really liked and again felt fine but again needed wheatabix to fill him up. Last night I made a 5 bean chilli – one of his favourite meals but I usually serve it with flatbreads which I didn’t do this time, using rice instead. He hadn’t worked that day and had toast for breakfast and then taken his mum out for lunch for her birthday – moules frites with crusty bread and then birthday cake. Shortly after eating the chilli, he said he was feeling ill. This time he actually looked unwell – very pale and clearly in discomfort. He spent the rest of the night running to the loo but with nothing being, ahem, produced. He claimed that he had a croissant with a coffee in the late afternoon and had been feeling queasy since then with the chilli pushing him over the edge. Tonight, however, he’s going to a friend’s house for a pizza night and is adamant that he’ll be fine.

I should mention that when he is at work he eats a cereal bar and a banana for breakfast and then a bowl of alpen for lunch (this is partly due to his love of alpen but also because he believes this is a healthy lunch – which it could be if he didn’t fill a bowl with a mountain of the stuff. He goes through two boxes a week).

What am I missing? I can’t see this being coeliac disease when he’s been eating so many gluten-based products with no problem. But when he does feel ill, it tends to be after eating bread, or, in yesterday’s case, pastry. Can he be intolerant to some sources of gluten but not others? And does this actually sound like an intolerance/allergy or just a sensitivity? Perhaps his digestive issues have actually had nothing to do with his diet at all and it’s all just coincidence? In which case, what else could be causing this?

OP posts:
Aquamarine1029 · 09/05/2019 17:24

Tell him to stop moaning and go to the gp if he is that concerned. How could you possibly know what the issue is, if there even is one? BTW, he eats a shocking amount of food. No wonder his stomach hurts.

gamerchick · 09/05/2019 17:28

Why are you pandering to this? He eats too much food, it's pretty obvious.

Either tell him to go to the doctor's with a food diary or to sort himself out from now on. No way I would put up with whinging and not doing anything about it

AvocadosBeforeMortgages · 09/05/2019 17:30

He's a hyperchondriac...

If he genuinely thinks he has coeliac disease send him off to his GP.

I'll note that claims of gluten intolerance amongst the worried well are very fashionable at the moment Hmm

Interested in this thread?

Then you might like threads about these subjects:

WhatHaveIFound · 09/05/2019 17:33

It sounds like he eats a lot of food. Is it not just that which is making him uncomfortable. He might be best seeing his GP and they would be able to test for coeliac disease if he's still eating wheat.

My DH suffers from gluten intolerance but had a negative result for coeliac disease. He can't tolerate Weatabix, processed bread, cakes etc. at all.

CountTessa · 09/05/2019 17:34

Of he genuinely believes he has coelics why is not following a gluten free diet? He is causing his problems of he is.

On the other hand, whilst not coelics my DH finds over processed white bread and bread products given him indigestion. This might be the problem your DH is having.

FiremanKing · 09/05/2019 17:35

My diagnosis is that he’s a greedy pig! He’s eating far too much and anyone would feel ill at gorging on all what he is eating.

whensmynexthol1day · 09/05/2019 17:36

I have become intolerant to bread in my old age. I feel awful after eating it- really bloated and feel like it's stuck in the upper part of my digestive system.

I don't get the same reaction to other things with wheat/ gluten like pasta (with the exception of bread like products - pizza, iced buns etc) although I have now generally cut out carbs as it helps me lose weight and I feel a lot better for it

I read somewhere it could be linked to modern yeast production and our bodies can't digest it as well?

I'm certainly not making up my symptoms, but equally don't think I have coeliac and haven't been to the drs about it- I have just changed the way I eat. I suspect this is what your dh needs to do?

fedup21 · 09/05/2019 17:37

If he genuinely thinks he has coeliacs, he needs to-:

A go to the GP
B stop eating gluten

Is he normally such a bloody baby?!

EvaHarknessRose · 09/05/2019 17:43

He’s not seeming to have enough knowledge about his diet. And seeming to want to control you/have you pander to it while continuing exactly as he likes elsewhere.

Saying that, yeast and other specific things can be an issue, and dd used to get terrible stomach ache after pastry (but not any of the ingredients of pastry in other forms). Too much white bread makes most people ill and constipated.

Why don’t you, when you are cooking, make it plant based (if you like that) and if he eats bread or junk that’s on him.

Smellbow · 09/05/2019 17:46

Tell him to make an appointment with the GP or to zip it.

Incidentally, if he was to be tested for Coeliac, he would need to keep eating gluten for the test to work. But his basis for saying that he has it seems slim, at best.

lazylinguist · 09/05/2019 17:50

What a chump! He accuses you of not taking his 'illness' seriously, while he continues to stuff himself with foods that allegedly make him ill? And then moans about what you cook when you do pander to his made up illness? Tell him he can be in charge of meal planning and cooking from now on!

DulcieRay · 09/05/2019 17:58

Only one way to find out if he has celiac disease which is to go to the drs.
In the meantime, nobody can eat shit all day and not get a tummy ache. As the average 6 year old will tell you Hmm

If bread is making him sick it could be the quantity, the yeast, the wheat, the gluten, or any number of other things. But I have never met anybody who can eat bread, cereal and Weetabix 3x a day and doesn't need to poop. That's what the fibre is for.

NorthEndGal · 09/05/2019 18:07

Sounds like a pretty serious case of gluttony.

NanTheWiser · 09/05/2019 18:08

Like whensmynexthol1day I seem to have become intolerant of wheat (and all high carb foods really) in my old age (72). I used to get really uncomfortable and bloated after eating bread and potatoes, and rice gives me pain. I went Low-carb high-fat 3 years ago, which more or less solved all those problems. So maybe he is just intolerant to high carb foods, and the only answer to that is to go low carb.

doris9034 · 09/05/2019 18:21

As he was only actually visibly a bit off on the day he had moules frites, I'd say more likely a case of a dodgy mussel.....

Loopytiles · 09/05/2019 18:26

His behaviour sounds a PITA!

He has the option to seek medical or dietary advice.

It sounds like you do most of the meal planning, shopping and cooking? Would just buy and cook whatever you like to eat, he can join you or not.

ICanTuckMyBoobsInMyPockets · 09/05/2019 18:34

Fuck me how tedious.

What's wrong with him? He needs to stop being a pig and stop moaning.

Or go to the GP if he genuinely thinks he's got a problem. But I suspect after he keeps a food diary for a month the GP will kick him out and say the same.

KMoKMo · 09/05/2019 19:12

Fuck me how tedious.

What's wrong with him? He needs to stop being a pig and stop moaning.

Exactly this.

Leave him to it OP. He doesn’t seem to want to help himself so unless he comes to you asking to change the menu carry on as you were.

DesignforLife · 09/05/2019 19:37

Thank you!

My original iteration of this post was along the lines of AIBU to think the problem is that he's stuffing himself stupid and needs to exercise some portion control/will power in order to stop the tummy aches. But I worried that I'd get my arse handed to me for being insensitive to a very real food issue, or worse, there was an obvious symptom of cancer or something like that - I'd never forgive myself.

The thing is, he's genuinely not a big baby usually. I've never known him to suffer from man-flu or anything like that so when he seemed to be genuinely suffering, I was concerned.

My thinking about the gluten-free diet was that, since he didn't want to see a doctor ("there's no point, I know exactly what's wrong with me"), I could isolate potential food groups or ingredients and try to pinpoint the problem. It's galling though when I go to this effort and he has a sneaky round of toast anyway.

OP posts:
SandrasAnnoyingFriend · 09/05/2019 21:04

Sounds more likely to onion and/or garlic. I get bloated and uncomfortable after both and would be suffering after houmous, Gravy (usually has onion in) and chilli,

But also, as others say, he eats too much and makes no effort to restrict the foods he thinks are an issue. Zero sympathy.

MissSmiley · 10/05/2019 07:39

I just want to say that often people crave what makes them ill, I couldn't get enough bread and pasta before I was diagnosed with coeliac disease. Even at my most poorly I was only having diarrhoea once a week and for years before it was a lot less often but the tummy pain (upper right quadrant) sounds familiar.

He needs to take this seriously and get tested before changing his diet, then even if negative he could cut it out to see if he feels better, but cutting it out needs to be strict to be effective, that means separate butter, separate toaster etc etc

I hope he feels better soon

sackrifice · 10/05/2019 07:46

If he really thought he had pain from gluten, he wouldn't touch the stuff again.

He needs to stop pigging out.

OneTitWonder · 10/05/2019 07:50

My DH was diagnosed with coeliac disease about 10 years ago, at age 42. He had none of the classic symptoms, his only real symptom was indigestion but it didn't seem to matter what he ate, he would more often than not get indigestion. He then had the standard gastroscop, colonoscopy and blood test combo which showed severe coeliac disease.

The problem with self-diagnosis is that you do not get the same level of understanding about what is entailed in a true gluten-free diet. Things like soy sauce, pre-made curry sauces, canned soups, and so on contain gluten. The process of diagnosis involves learning a whole new way of eating, not just removing bread and pasta from your diet. So if your husband really believes he has coeliac disease, then quite frankly he's an idiot if he doesn't go to the dr, because undiagnosed and improperly treated coeliac disease can cause bowel cancer.

Self-diagnosing with coeliac disease would be like self-diagnosing diabetes. Stupid and dangerous.

SmarmyMrMime · 10/05/2019 10:01

If he's remotely serious about this he needs to start a food diary to work out what is aggravating him because it could be anything aggravating him. At this stage a GP would have little to go on and it could quite simply be the volume of food.

Coeliac testing needs gluten in the system for the inflamation to be present and detectable, but before he needs to get to that stage he needs to experiment with different to the foods to identify any triggers.

I'd always had IBS and it behaved really well when the family diet was adjusted around DS's milk, egg and soya allergies/ intolerances. When he weaned back onto them, my digestive system deteriorated. I've identified that I have what I call a low tolerance to dairy where I can cope with modest amounts of high fat or processed forms of milk, but something like a milkshake will have me in cold sweats on the toilet for the next half an hour. I can also struggle with the soya content of bread, particularly white breads (With hindsight, this explains why I had so many difficulties with backpacking/ camping, it was the soya Beanfeast). Onions make me very gassy. Seafood also fast tracks through me. Too much sugar seems to send my guts hyperactive too, that includes alcohol. Cheaper wines make me very headachy while I am drinking them and I also struggle with artificial sweetners.
It's taken a few years of observation, withdrawl and reintroduction to draw up that list.

It can be difficult to identify triggers when ingredient lists of so many foods are so complex. However what you can't do is declare yourself with no investigation to have a serious lifelong condition such as coeliac, and it does people with that condition a massive disservice when they can have sensitivity to the level of reacting to gluten traces left from dishwashing.

Fairylea · 10/05/2019 10:16

Agree with everyone else, he needs to get to the gp and have some proper investigations if he thinks something is going on. There are so many different bowel problems from crohns to Ibs to whatever else (incidentally there isn’t always bleeding with crohns - my mum had severe crohns for 50 years and didn’t always have bleeding during flare ups as often the bleeding was very high up in her bowel, a wheat based diet would easily cause a flare up, she had to stay gluten free to control her symptoms... anyway I’m not saying it’s that I’m just saying there are so many things it could be)!

He mustn’t stop eating gluten before being tests for coeliac disease otherwise the test won’t show it up!