Postitive stories from parents of young adults with SEN please?

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DS is 10 (Year 5) and has 'the spikiest profile ever'. No diagnosis but AS, dyslexia and dyspraxia have all been sugested to us, however nothing quite fits. He's always been highly sensitive but is becoming better at coping with change and disappointment. Main challenge is literacy; he gets a lot of 1:2 support in class and the goal is to get him up to the reading level of a 'normal' Year 4 student when he's coming to the end of Year 6. This is a daily struggle. He may have just cracked the reading code.
He is also not great with general knowledge; money, geography, months of the year, that sort of thing. Sounds awful to say it but just not 'intelligent' in the academic sense.
However he's a lovely, kind, fun boy with great social skills and creativity. Very artistic. He makes friends and maintains them, and is becoming more independent and confident with chores, sports and play dates. He walks himself to school, remembers PE kit etc.

OK so secondary school is looming. What should we think about? Will he be able to absorb neccessary information without the TA support he is used to in class? And what jobs could he do in the future?

He's growing up fast and for the first time I'm feeling worried and sad for him. How do I best support him?
I would really appreciate your positive stories please.

I will give you one . My DS couldn’t read in year 5 ( extremely dyslexic) . Finally cracked it in year 6 but was still a 3c in his SATs . I was terrified of how he would cope in Secondary but it was the making of him . Mainly because he got into sport was good at it and this gave him the confidence to tackle other issues at school . He walked out at 16 with 9 Gcse’s including A in English lit and B in English language. He is now at uni final year and is predicted a 2:1
The key is to increase their self worth . You say your son is good at Art well encourage this there are lots of careers from this (architecture, design tech , product design) but you will also hopefully find confidence from this will seep into other areas.
Another thing I found was Primary is obsessed with the 3 R’s and it is easy for children who struggle with this to get bogged down. In secondary with a wider ciriculum it gives more children opportunities to shine and find their fit.
Also my DS was the only dyslexic in his year and thought he was alone struggling. Going to Secondary he found other children with dyslexia and realised he wasn’t alone which also helped.

Not everyone is academic like not everyone is great at dancing.

Do you know have any friends/family who have a trade? I know a 15-year-old who is a great carpenter just from spending him with his grandad. He's currently working on a commissioned job of building a staircase.

I went to school with a lad who now works at a water sports centre. Similar to your son he struggled massively in every subject and according to his family 'was too dumb for the family business'. He started volunteering at the centre when he was 14 as work experience but he had a good work ethic and was eager to learn. He's an instructor in every sport they offer, he trains the seasonal staff and can repair all the equipment. He absolutely loves it and sometimes I feel quite jealous that he has a job he enjoys so much. He's even passed his driving test which baring in mind he could barely read I'm extremely proud of him.

I hate there's such a emphasis on academia in this country - so what that the wrong country aren't going to be lawyers/Researchers/journalists.

Thank you, that's so lovely to read.
Agree there's a massive focus on amademia in this country. DH & I both academic but I have also had many 'unskilled' jobs. Finding the right workplace is crucial to anyone's wellbeing isn't it?
Yes I can absolutely see him in the arts and/or sports coaching.
Right now he says he wants to work in the local chippy 'until he becomes rich enough to go to fancy art college' - lovely chippy owner has agreed to hire him!

academia even

Build his self esteem - let him do stuff he is good at
Encourage him to follow his passions
Encourage him to identify the path of least resistance in life (i.e if hes good at computers and finds them less stressful than books then let him do as much with them as he can)
Encourage audio books if he likes stories but not reading. Listening books are a charity that might be able to help
Ensure he has opportunities - part time work or voluntary work with people, and to understand how to communicate etc
Support him in his education but do not push him to do "more of the same" so he becomes disillusioned

My son is severely dyslexic. He did all of the above - survived school and found the perfect fit for him in a BTEC college course for 16-18. He is now doing amazingly well in the world of work (hes early 20s).

Thank you Kez, that's lovely. We try! How did you go about finding the good college course for your son? Did secondary school help you?

No school didnt.

During secondary we encouraged him to do stuff he liked. Computers was one of those things and he decided he would like to work with them. We took him to all available colleges, art college (for the film type courses and computer media), normal college (for more traditional computing and IT btec courses) he could get to and the course he picked was offered at two of them. So, having spoken to the lecturers he went for the place he felt he had best fit with and thrived.

Your sons neurodiversities will give him talents and strengths. Its about identifying them so he realises he is worthy however school makes him feel.

Thats also where clubs outside of school are good. Can build real self esteem and confidence that gets dented daily by frustration at school.

Yes to everyhing!
Thank you so much.

Yes to everyhing!
Thank you so much.

Good luck! I remember it well and its scary. Hold your nerve, support him to be the best version of himself, and happy!

My youngest has severe learning difficulties and struggles with maths, English, sitting still etc etc. He managed to stay in a mainstream high school for which the head of SEN needs to take full credit along with all the TA's and other support staff.

He was also helped by the fact he is sporty and played rugby with a number of boys in his year which helped him form friendships...that and the fact he is incredibly chatty and has the world's happiest smile...may be slightly biased there.

He left school with some BTechs but no maths or English.

What has helped as he approaches 21 later this month was finding the right follow on college. We were incredibly lucky and found a college that has about 10 students a year and they really support the students individually and help them into employment.

He now has a Foundation 1 in English, which he is suitably proud of but is unlikely to ever conquer maths even at Foundation level. But that doesn't matter. What does matter is he is volunteering in a perfect job where he is incredibly popular and has already been offered a part time job once he's ready. He is happy and has loads of friends and still plays rugby and other sports.

Its not easy having a non neurotypical child and I won't pretend it is but there are lots or rewards.

Heartwarming, thank you for sharing.