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Original poster

Would this be insensitive or a nice gesture

15 replies

Littleteacup1 · 09/05/2019 13:31

My partner of 3 years is getting a new office at our house his dad passed away when he was 15 and he didn’t have much in the way of photos. his mum also had to give away the family dog at the same time due to a break down. I was snooping today and juts Googled his dads name up came a few local articals and a page where family and friends had posted pics and written nice messages. I have found a lovely photo of his dad and dog in the snow I would really like to frame it for his office to go on the shelf would this be weird or creeepy I really don’t want to offend him

OP posts:

Springwalk · 09/05/2019 13:32

I would be tempted to show him the photo, and if he likes it and you get a good reaction, then have it framed.

FiremanKing · 09/05/2019 13:33

I think it’s lovely.

Aquamarine1029 · 09/05/2019 13:34

Picture of dad, probably. Picture of dog, absolutely not. The dog is a symbol of so many horrible times in your husband's life.

Original poster

Littleteacup1 · 09/05/2019 13:35

He has a few of the dog already so I’m not worried about that it’s just his dad that I am

OP posts:

Sexnotgender · 09/05/2019 13:35

I’d definitely ask if he wanted it. It really could go either way!

Aquamarine1029 · 09/05/2019 13:40

Just show him the picture then and ask if he would like it framed. Let him make the decision.

RosaWaiting · 09/05/2019 13:48

I would find it super weird if a partner was googling my dead father, so I'm going with - hell no!

Macandcheese05 · 09/05/2019 15:01

you should get it blown up onto a blanket (snapfish do it) and be wrapped in it asleep on his office floor when he comes home. if he likes that then get it framed as well.

SarahAndQuack · 09/05/2019 15:04

I think I'd ask a family member - rather than saying you were googling, it'd be nicer to be able to say 'I asked your sister if she had any photos, and we found this one'.

I'm confused by a PP's claim the dog is a 'symbol' of things going wrong. I don't see how that would be.

GotThatSlightChewiness · 09/05/2019 15:05

I think it's a lovely gesture!

Miffymeow · 09/05/2019 15:48

Personally I would be very upset by it but that's just me. Everyone is going to be totally different, best off asking him before doing anything IMO. It's a nice thought, but who knows how he will feel about it.

InTheHeatofLisbon · 09/05/2019 15:54

I think it's a lovely idea but I'd be wary of doing it as a surprise.

Mostly because I lost my mum nearly 2 years ago and seeing an unexpected picture of her (as happened when I was helping Dad sort his papers out) knocked me for six, and really hit me.

It might sound silly, and it probably is, but that's my take on it. That said I think the idea and the thought behind it are wonderful and really thoughtful and kind, so it's worth raising with him.

Harrison376 · 09/05/2019 16:51

Not weird at all. I’d be really touched if someone did that for me, it’s very thoughtful. Bit depressing that people think it’s a weird thing to do!

Thecowinthemeadowgoesmoo · 09/05/2019 18:11

You know your partner best. Mine, for example, would be very touched if I did something like this. But I appreciate that not everyone would be.

Original poster

Littleteacup1 · 10/05/2019 12:52

Mentioned in passing something about an article I found of my grandad online he mentioned his dads article so I googled and showed him all was ok

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