Post Natal lunacy , please tell me someone else has done worse

[TheTillster]

My DD was 2 last week , I was watching the royal baby on TV yesterday-and commenting how tired Megan looked and how no way could I have stood in those heels 48 hours later , my husband reminded me of my epic fail which still makes me itch with horror .

DD was a week old DS had been invited to a birthday party , I was all I can do this and I'm taking both of them , super earth mother I am ! We arrived at the venue which was a farm park and asked for Charlie's party , we were shown through to the party room by the staff on the gate and duly placed presents on the pile I didn't see anyone I recognised but this wasn't a huge problem at first ( I work and I'm not a great lover of the school gates , I dump and run usually ) as time went on DS kept asking where the birthday boy was , I still didn't recognise a soul there and was feeling a bit sad as I was sat like a pariah on the end of one of the benches constantly feeding DD who had decided she was going to cluster feed . I think it dawned on me just as DS was finishing the birthday lunch , Charlie wasn't there , DS didn't recognise any of the other children , I didn't recognise any of the other parents .... and on closer inspection DS was rather older than all the rest of the children !!
I WAS AT THE WRONG PARTY 😳

So I did what any self respecting person who has just make an absolute fool of themselves did , bundled DS into car as soon as he took his last bite of birthday cake and took off home . Upon checking the invitation I was a week early and I had indeed totally gatecrashed someone else's party .
If anyone is reading this who had a randomer at their party in 2017 and wonders to this day who the woman with the baby was ... it was me and I'm very sorry for not coming clean and just doing a runner .
My husband adores this story and dines out on it at least twice a year creasing with laughter😡
I'm still deeply ashamed and would love other people's terrible post natal brain fade stories .

OP that's properly tickled me!

Mine isn't funny, but still a little ridiculous. I needed to go shopping a few days after DS was born and had the genius idea that I'd walk into town and take a little stroll around. I wandered about, bought a few bits and took a slow walk home. It was only when I arrived home that DH (still on paternity leave) mentioned I'd taken the baby with me and returned without him. I raced back into town and retraced my steps. DS was having the time of his life being cooed over by all the ladies in Boots, while I cried for at least 4 hours about being the worst Mother ever. My favourite part was that the lady who'd served me at the till in Boots had recognised me and said to the other staff "I bet she's forgotten him" because apparently it had happened before. How many mad women have abandoned their babies in Boots for her to have been so calm about it all?!

DH still laughs about it when he thinks about it. I still die inside a little bit, too.

We had driven off and left week old ds in his car seat in the kitchen. We didn't get that far before one of us noticed but I felt like the worlds worst mother.

Omg fudge! I keep imagining doing this but thankfully he's nearly 5 months and always returned home with me 🤣

FudgeBrownie2019 Oops. Perhaps you had the look of someone who was about to forget the baby?

I've done similar - managed to get two DC to nursery on time, very pleased with myself. Wrangle them to the door only to be asked "where's the baby?" Fuckkkk. Luckily I'd only left him in the car rather than at home.

Oh you poor thing op haha. Free birthday cake though!!

The very fact you made it out and presumably well presented enough not to look like you had turned up at Worzel Gummidge appreciation society member means you did actually nail it op. Party host irrelevant imo..

THE BEST THREAD IVE EVER READ!!

Well in comparison to these mine is rubbish 😕 but when DD1 was a newborn we constantly forgot to take the nappy bag with us.
At first it was just trips out in the village so wasn't really an issue but then we forgot it when we went into town for the afternoon.

When I realised and said we’d have to buy some wipes & nappies while out, DP said ‘well were we planning on changing her nappy?’

I enlightened him that it wasn’t really going to be our choice

The first time I took DD out it didn't occur to me to bring formula as she'd just been fed.

I threw a full bottle of milk at DH because he kept going on and on about something unimportant when the baby wouldn't settle down for a feed.

My mum left me at the shops! It's obviously genetic.

DD is 12 weeks and so far I have;

left front door wide open when we went out to a baby class so DP came home and thought we had been robbed

left my keys in the front door numerous times

left the car door wide open and it rained and got filled with water (another DP discovery although by then he was wise to my antics and knew what had happened)

forgotten that the dog existed and by the time I remembered I had let her out for a wee in garden two hours ago, she had dug a massive hole in the lawn (serves me right really)

put my phone in the fridge

been ridiculously smug about organising and sending Mother's Day gifts for mum and gran with a newborn baby, until I realised I was three weeks early and had to phone them both to explain

I shouted at a dog that it owed me £4 when it chewed my new bottle of infacol. I was really, really angry.