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Original poster

Online guy who takes 10 minutes to 2 hours to reply to every text

22 replies

Loka123 · 08/05/2019 22:49

I get people are busy of course and not everyone or anyone should spend 24/7 texting on their phones but what would you think about a guy you've been messaging online for 3 days.. where you initiated the first hello but every day since then, he's initiated texts in the morning, is very charming, etc. and he initiated one hour long phone call too.. all good but I find it weird how even though he initiates every text convo in the mornings, he always takes at least 10 minutes and up to 3 hours to reply.. in a way it's a good as we don't run out of things to talk about but I also find it odd that I NEVER get a response within 2-3 minutes regardless of whether he's at home watching t.v (which he does a lot), at work, etc.

Is he trying to play a bit hard to get or is it more of a showing me he's not super interested? I know it's hard to tell and I've not met him in reality so can't tell off body language but never experienced this before.. usually people text intensively reply every second for an hour or two and then the replies take longer when they're busy.. with him it's always like that...

OP posts:
pink412 · 08/05/2019 22:55

I have this problem when replying and it’s simple down to me not being able to get the words out (I know the word I want to use I just can’t say or type it, and can takes a while to come to me)

CaptainJaneway62 · 08/05/2019 23:25

He's either really busy with work
Texting other people so you're in a queue basically
Or he's playing mind games

Whichever way when people mess with your head you're better off cutting contact and leave them to it. Genuine people don't leave people hanging for hours.

Mentalray · 08/05/2019 23:28

Do you mean he texts first, you respond, then he says nothing for hours?

Gentlemanwiththistledownhair · 08/05/2019 23:48

I never text back straight away. I hate getting stuck into text convos that are back and forth so I usually wait until the next time I have a few mins to reply

Kiwiinkits · 09/05/2019 00:45

Texting really is a shit way to communicate. Just pick up the phone and call each other FFS or meet in person.
I'm REALLY glad I'm not dating because I hate texting back and forth. There's no warmth or humour, things can get misconstrued, and there's the pain in the arse factor of having to tap-tap-tap out what you want to say. Talking in person really is best.

Original poster
Loka123 · 09/05/2019 18:20

Thanks everyone so far for the comments

@Mentalray
yup exactly that
Him: Hey, how are you? Xxx
(after 10 mins) Me: Good thanks, you? etc..
His reply is then after 2-3 hours and this is fairly the norm always regardless of whether I take 5 mins to reply, a few seconds or a few hours lol

OP posts:
NameChangeNugget · 09/05/2019 18:27

Texting really is a shit way to communicate. Just pick up the phone and call each other FFS or meet in person

This has added an unnecessary level of complexity to dating.

Read so many threads on here by people getting paranoid because their new boyfriend appears to have a life.

Delatron · 09/05/2019 18:29

Seriously, is it generally expected that people reply to texts in 2 minutes? What if they are busy/driving/otherwise occupied.
Sometimes I take days!

BogglesGoggles · 09/05/2019 18:33

This would be me if I was a man and did online dating. I just don’t repky to texts until it’s convenient and often don’t have my phone in the same room as me.

TSSDNCOP · 09/05/2019 18:35

It's not like it's cut and thrust repartee is it? Is it possible he's summoning the will to go on?

TwitterQueen1 · 09/05/2019 18:35

Another one who takes hours if not days to reply.... I'm not dating but if I were I would bin anyone who expected an immediate reply. After only 3 days you cannot expect to be his priority. It's so needy and off-putting. I reply when it is convenient to me.

Maybe that's why I'm still (happily) single Wink.

Doidontimmm · 09/05/2019 18:36

Are you sure he is single?

HappyPunky · 09/05/2019 18:40

By texting every morning he might be getting you used to contact in the mornings so you feel weird about it if it stops. It's a bit like negging. You don't know him at all really so maybe skip a day.

Keep messaging and dating others too.

NoBaggyPants · 09/05/2019 18:45

It's sod all like negging.

Two hours isn't long to reply to a text. Try not to over analyse things.

HappyPunky · 09/05/2019 19:09

I wasn't clear - a couple of hours between texts isn't negging but developing a texting in the morning habit with someone you don't know is suspicious.

SilverySurfer · 09/05/2019 19:15

I would assume he has a life. You have been in contact with each other for three days - you're not in a long term relationship or, in fact,
any sort of relationship. Have you even met?

Original poster
Loka123 · 09/05/2019 21:54

It's odd in that it makes me feel both glad and worried at the same time lol.. as have been with guys before who were constantly responding 24/7 (replying in a few seconds all the time) which did take away the mystery a bit and was tiring so it's good in that sense that he doesn't do that but then, I get concerned when he always takes hours to respond - so I'm not pleased either way! lol

OP posts:
Mentalray · 10/05/2019 00:01

I don't know why people have to answer this question so rudely. Not texting someone back after you started the text dialogue is not proving someone has a life, it's just proving they are rude.

I think maybe he's using you to stroke his ego. He texts, you get back to him and he gets a ego boost and leaves you hanging. Or he's just a pain in the bum by texting you and not saying more than hi.

I wouldn't respond to the morning texts until much later if I were you.

UnrelentingFruitScoffer · 10/05/2019 00:07

OP - most people have busy lives and don’t reply to texts until they have some spare time. That’s all this is.

AlexaShutUp · 10/05/2019 00:09

I thought from the title that you were worried about him replying too quickly, perhaps because he didn't have a life or something. Grin

PickAChew · 10/05/2019 00:13

He probably texts in the morning at breakfast, or while commuting.

Then again, when he has a break.

Then at lunchtime...

Chocmallows · 10/05/2019 00:19

Sometimes he replies after 10 minutes, the other times he has a life is busy.

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