Anyone else lonely and can't find a way out of it?

[MyMushroomsInATimeSlip]

I've been feeling miserable for a while and recently realised that it's because I'm lonely.
Single parent. No family help or babysitters or money to pay one. Friends have moved away. I don't know anyone in the same situation. I go to work, come home, cook tea, watch tv and go to bed. Live rurally and not much going on.
Anyone else in this situation? I can't think of a way out for 10 plus years

I can really relate to you. Although, I am not a single parent but DH works long hours. Have you thought about perhaps taking up a hobby? It may help you a lot. I really hope you find something that keeps you busy.

Thank you for replying. I am missing out on doing something for me I guess. Trying to think of a hobby at home that involves contact with other human beings!

I can relate too

I don’t know what to suggest because it’s not always just as easy as ‘joining a group’

I sometimes think spending time online makes it worse

How old is your child/ren? Are they at school, or nursery, so that you get some time without them? Or do you work full time?

It’ll get easier as they grow older.
I made good friends when my DD was in nursery, I work full time. I had a H back then, but I was very lonely and isolated till I met other mums.

Now DD is a teen, she can feed herself, she’s glued to her phone, we’ve moved so she can have peers nearby etc, I can do pretty much whatever I want, really.

I can relate as an in the same situation ( although not rural). I have burst where I try and think creatively how to change things and then others where I feel so trapped and depressed.

Feel guilty as spent this morning fantasising about just walking away from it all, travelling on my own and starting my life again. Obviously I’d never do this and I love my kids very much - but I just need something more from my life.

Thanks for your replies. It's good to know there are people out there!

No time on my own unfortunately. Child is 8 so a way off being left on their own (though prefers to ignore me in favour of screens anyway!)

I too imagine running away somewhere. Travelling in a campervan across Europe to a far away beach...starting a yoga retreat in the mountains...anything different really

I am out of creative ideas crumpet. They all seem to require resources that I don't have. I feel like I should be using my evening time to achieve something but I've got to the point where I can't be arsed

Yes - mine are 4 and 7. Space for me seems a long way off. I wish I could think of something as I’m sure it would make me a better mother too. I did try and think about cramming something into work time - but I need to be full on at work to get back in time for the kids.

I'm in the same boat, and suggestions like 'get a hobby' really don't help when, as the OP said, we have no family support and no money to pay a babysitter. My dd is now 11 though, so I can start to see a time when I could leave her for an hour to do a class of some sort. For now though, MN and the TV are my company

I had my one DS and never felt lonely, lots of good friends round the corner practically, felt a lot of support from neighbours as well. We were really happy.
Met someone new, got pregnant, moved to next town, had baby and suddenly had no one my friends visits were few and don’t at all now, I’ve given up trying to arrange meet ups with them.
Haven’t really clicked with new neighbours, family aren’t interested.
I’m so very lonely, I go to baby groups and have met some lovely mums but I really miss the sense of support and commmunity I used to have.
Maybe one day it will all fall into place again.

Me too, it's shit isn't it. I need to take antidepressants really, but I know from previous experience that they cause a couple of weeks of really bad side effects, and I couldn't look after DS and there's nobody else to do it, so tough shit.

Cannot find a job that fits around nursery/school, so I don't even have colleagues, and I've almost forgotten who I am as my confident, competent, professional self.

MN is good, Facebook is good, I have radio 4 on a lot it's sometimes the only adult "conversation" I have for days. Trying to enjoy stuff I can only do on my own can work well, even if it's just eating weird food combinations and watching terrible shite on the telly with no one to judge me.

I don’t have a sporty child, but I do drag her on bike rides. We used to swim together a lot. We go for walks. One day a week I meet her at the school bus and we go out for coffee.
What I am saying is you could, perhaps, break the routine a bit with an evening walk/a bike ride.
Sleepovers?

I’m from the continent and quite single minded, back home it’s the norm to take your child with you everywhere. When she was younger I would just take her with me to pilates, it was in the village hall, she read her books while I did my class. I always took her with me when I visited friends, again, she was happy to just read, but I am aware not all children are happy to do so.

Try and break the routine a bit.

catsofa, I was on setraline for a while. They made me feel nauseous for a bit, but then it was ok.

There’s a walking with kids group local to me.

I posted in it that my daughter and I had done X walk and someone commented saying ‘let me know if you’d like company next time’.

Could you see if there’s anything similar in your area?

Just a thought, may not have legs, but maybe some of you who are in a similar position could set up a Skype group to chat regularly. It's still online so no need to go out, but would be more personal and likely to make proper friends than online forums, I should think.

Hi all, it helps to know it's not just me in this situation, though I'm sorry others are too. The suggestion of a change in routine is a good one so I might try that to reduce the monotony and inject a bit more fun into life.
Catsofa I'm on antidepressants. It was hard the first two weeks then improved. I had some help from a home start volunteer at the time which I needed and helped get me through.
I don't know if I'd take ds to a group or class. I used to go to a book group before he was born but having him there would limit the discussion topics I think! (The group has disbanded now anyway)
Tried listening to radio4 in the car today but needed something lighter!