On work trip abroad. Colleague gone crazy

[Eastie77]

Just that really. I'm abroad for work, 2 days in a major European city with a client meeting tomorrow morning. I've travelled with a female colleague who, like me, has 2 young DC. When we found out about this trip she messaged me to say she was desperately looking forward to it as she needs a break from the DC and is run ragged juggling everything. I said I totally sympathised and she replied that we should use this trip as an opportunity to get rat arsed on the company's money. I just laughed.

Arrived at the airport this morning for our early flight to find she had already had downed 2 pints but was at least sober. She kicked up a fuss on the plane as there was no alcohol on sale - not massively but enough to embarrass me. Landed and she bought more alcohol and has generally been increasingly drunk, hyper and shrill since saying this is 'her time'. We arrived at the hotel at 3pm and were meant to go over our presentation for tomorrow but I've had zero input from her. I need her to contribute a bunch of slides and practice a demo of the technical solution we are meant to be presenting to the client but she is not playing ball and has just been propping up the bar. I'm stressed. It looks as if I will have to do her slides and I don't have enough knowledge so emailing colleagues back home. I don't want to speak to my manager about this. She is normally quite conscientious

Really hope it’s gone ok

An awful situation but conversely this woman needs help and support and is clearly not coping with the level of responsibility she has at work as well as her DC and whatever else is going on in her life. She's used the first opportunity she's had to have a blow out, I'm not condoning her behaviour and it's not right but hopefully your company will try to work with her to offer her the support she needs and a more suitable role.

I hope the meeting with the client went well for you and you don't suffer as a result of her lack of professionalism.

Never heard the term hot mess before is is an actual phrase?

Or she just wanted many drinks, sod the work...

sucresugar I disagree. There’s “needing a little support” and then there’s completely fucking it up.

Even if the colleague had collaborated with OP, got the presentation done and run through it a couple of times; THEN got absolutely shitfaced, it would have been a bit off but recoverable as long as she pulled herself together in time for the 10am meeting.

The colleague treated this trip like a girls holiday to Ibiza - necking 2 pints at the airport before the OP had even arrived, moaning about lack of alcohol on the plane, ignoring the work in favour of propping up the bar.

Sometimes people just fuck up and need reprimanding; t doesn’t always have to be a sign that they need “help”.

I imagine the colleague turning up to the meeting in full sue ellen mode. All swaying and insulting comments. Panda eyes and broken heel on her shoe. 'Ger off me I wanna do the fucking slide show' and proceeds to break down in tears and show everyone pictures of her children while slagging off her husband.

@StealthPolarBear yes I have heard "hot mess" before. I think it is used more commonly in the States.

Support in a work context yes. Help with presentation skills or time management.

But you don't need "support" to know that getting shitfaced the night before a crucial presentation is downright stupid. And to be frank, the fact that she has two young children and is frazzled has nothing to do with her work either. She is being paid to do a job, and over the last two days she hasn't done that job.

Hope it went well!

@PotolBabu Does that person's first name begin with T?

She has an alcohol abuse problem, clearly.

I've been on the client side of this. Expectations are typically fairly low and changing technical solutions is painful, so hopefully you have a fairly low bar.

She may well still be somewhat inebriated in the morning. If so do it without her or it will be noticed and there will be repercussions.

Good luck.

No L. 😆😆 Clearly there are plenty of these academics around.

I have heard "hot mess" before. I think it is used more commonly in the States.

It is an American term, but I think it went out of style a few years ago.

I work in a university and would be at this.

We're not all precious wankers, I promise!

I think anyone using the term ‘hot mess’ is trying desperately to be cool............ and failing miserably. 😂

Wow, I'd be thoroughly pissed off if a colleague were to do that to me.

Nothing against early drinking in the airport. It's great if you're off on holiday, on a work trip not so much. I think the fact that she was able to show up to your room this morning and not be in bits after 12+ hours of drinking shows that maybe this is a problem.

I would also be delighted to have a hotel room to myself but my idea of letting loose would be a couple of glasses of wine and a nice bath followed by an early night of blissful sleep. I'm sure a lot (maybe most?) of mothers would be the same.

@Downcasteyes - you may want to rethink your attitude to covering mates/colleagues backs. The HE sector is facing major challenges including the implications of Brexit, the Auger Review proposals and pension cuts. You may soon find it's each academic for themselves as more and more 'suits' are recruited to management positions and cuts across the board are made. Students want more for their money and it's the 'maverick' old school academics who may be ousted first to make way for a new professional breed

Is anyone else worried that this thread will be taken down before we hear how things go back at the ranch?

The OP will have changed details. For example colleague isn't actually a woman, it's a bloke called Steve. And they're in Madrid or Rome, not Lisbon. None of which really matters as the core story in the same.

I'm in the States

"Hot mess" is common and not out of date - pretty much used in everyday language to discriminate folks who can't get out of their own way

i’m a little bit aghast that you left your colleague in a bar with strangers last night. work nightmare aside - this is Not Cool.

i dunno, OP. i’m really conflicted on this. the presentation should have been locked in before you travelled, i wouldn’t have arranged dinner and drinks with a colleague who had been drinking all day, and i would have been extremely vocal with them about their behaviour.

i still wouldn’t have told my boss though, unless it went completely tits-up and your colleague didn’t show today. i might ask for a meeting on my return to the office, and disclose how worrying my colleague’s behaviour had been. this needs to be framed of course around how you went for dinner and drinks with her knowing she was already hammered and then left her drunk and vulnerable in a rowdy bar.

full disclosure: i’m a recovering alcoholic, 5 years sober. i travelled a lot for work, and i did most of it drunk. your colleague behaved terribly, and i understand your stress. you can refuse to travel with this colleague again, and you can of course say why. the rest of it, i’m afraid, is between your colleague, her manager and whatever may follow from that.

Damn autocorrect

Describe (not discriminate)

Just caught up with the thread, I hope it went well and you are having well deserved drinks now!

How did it go OP?