Are all toddlers this hard work?

[Bumbalaya]

My DD 2.5 is such hard work at the moment.
She is very clingy towards me and insists that I carry her everywhere. If I walk downstairs she wants me to carry her even though she’s able to walk perfectly well holding my hand, she then screams and cries for aaaages if I...
-put her coat on
-put her nappy on
-get her dressed
-put her in the car seat
-put her in the pushchair

• insist that she walks (I have a bad back)

When I have friends round or take her to a friends house she often clings to me and asks to go home. I’m sick of the whole day being a battle.

I’m an early years teacher soon confident that I’m stimulating her well in all areas and setting boundaries.

Is it just that all toddlers are difficult?

She cried the other day because I told her that her thumbs were called thumbs. 🤦🏼‍♀️

Normal! My 2.3 year old is exactly the same, found him sipping his drink and spitting it out in a shoe yesterday so that was new.
I have found doing something random stops him in his tracks- burst into song, use a squeaky voice, put something on my head etc. Anything to stop me trying to rationalise with an irrational little person!

Yep.

My 3.5 year old cried til 10pm because we left a stick at a castle we visited that he was whacking his brother with and he was so worried about someone else taking his stick away. In the end I had to phone the castle and ask them to put the stick somewhere safe until we could collect it obviously didn't really do this just had very loud fake phone call on the landing which of course now means we can never visit the castle ever again.

Sounds like it's within the spectrum of normal behaviour but in honesty no, DD is 2.5 and much easier than that to deal with. We have our moments but it's not a instant battle.

That's not to say you're doing anything wrong, I think it's just the luck of the draw really.

My dd is 2.5 too. She not clingy or cries a lot but my gods she's a mischievous little bugger. I'm constantly on my feet with her. I look forward to 6:30 coming so I can put her too bed 🙈 that sounds really awful..but she exhausts me. Her sisters and brother wasn't like this!

Reading this, i’m counting my lucky stars as dd has been reasonable and easy going, unless overtired. She’s 3 years and a bit now.

Haha. Par for the course. Ds was hard baby then an absolute delight as a toddler. Then he hit 4. Little fucker 4 I like to call it. Mood swings, temper, attitude. Hopefully we seem to be coming out of it now...
Dd2 dream baby. Now at 2.5... the tantrums are spectacular. If I give her the wrong colour plate the neighbours must think I'm murdering her!

No, my eldest was a dream who slept 12 hours a night and napped for five hours during the day. The universe clearly felt it owed me something the second time round.

DD didn't sleep for more than 90 minutes until she was 14 months old, and once she did sleep through, would wake up and create mayhem for the whole day. She needed constant stimulation, or she would shriek the place down. DGS is the opposite: self settling from 10 months, plays on his own, persistently cheerful. DD's phase didn't last, and neither will DGS once his growth spurt starts.

Thumbs

There is a thread in classics (which you should read) about the a toddler who demanded cutted up pear, and then threw a screaming fit because his pear was .... cut up.

That's toddlers.

Mine excelled herself today but having a shit fit about rain being wet. Then she screamed to be allowed to go out in the wet. So we went for a walk. And then she broke free from me and jumped into a very full and muddy ditch and refused to come out, while I stood on the verge like a lemon trying to reason with a gremlin-like mud urchin who had decided the wet and rainy mud was the best thing ever.

She also likes to scream her demands to walk, and holds out until just the point at which I cannot be arsed to go back to the car for her pushchair (which she beats with her fists if I try to carry along with us). Then she demands to be carried, put down, and picked up again, every few hundred yards.

Frankly I am not sure how much boundary-setting you can really do. I mean, you have to try because received wisdom is that it helps later on. But it's not like they have enormous amounts of impulse control at this age, is it?

Classics thread: www.mumsnet.com/Talk/mumsnet_classics/1301196-If-my-3yo-had-access-to-AIBU

I remember mine being distraught she had elbows and wanted me to cut them off

Mine was the same at that age - very testing up until about 3yrs 9 months - then massively improved.

God it's so hard but just keep battling through and setting your boundaries/expectations. Not all children are this hard, I've witnessed it first hand, many times over!

Some of us just have the shitty end of the stick I'm afraid.

DS cried today because the outside of my car was wet- it was raining!

Another vote for mine was just like it! Velcro child, wouldn't walk anywhere, tears for anything. Then it stopped. Now she's a lovely, even tempered 4yo. I did a lot of patient listening and gave her options (a list of things i approved of, obviously) and that helped. Getting angry (which i also resorted to!) did not. That worked for mine anyway, and we got through it, and now she's lovely to spend time with. Its shit at the time, you'll get through it. Wine helps. 🍷

Sounds pretty normal.

My two weren’t quite like that at a similar age, one did the whole clingy thing much earlier and one was just never clingy.

I teach a preschool class of 2 1/2 - 3 year olds and I can confirm that is all quite normal. Doesn’t make it any less annoying!

How did all you ladies get on. I know your original posts were some time ago, but I’m currently at the 2-3 year old age and I’m constantly feeling like I’m the only mum with a toddler who’s difficult to parent. X

Yeap, all normal by my experience.

Currenlty watching two friends' 2-year-olds grow simultaneously (only 3 days between their birthdays).

These two friends have extremely similar parenting styles, both Montessori type, go to NCT groups etc. The kids are also the same sex.

It's incredible how different the two children are, and I can only really put it down to nature as the parents are so similar in their approach. One child is very easy going and relaxed, has the occasional tantrum but generally will do what she's asked without too much fuss, etc.

The other is more lively, obviously doesn't always misbehave but generally will kick up more of a fuss about doing everyday things like getting dressed, getting in the car etc. and is quite bossy!

So I do think that whatever you do, to some extent it's the luck of the draw!

Yep! Perfectly normal. As reasonable as Hitler.

Good to know I’m not alone. Always feels like everybody else’s toddler is an Angel. We get super early wake ups, meltdowns and general lack of attention to ANYTHING! Makes it impossible (at times) to enjoy motherhood - which then leads to mum guilt arrrgggghhhh