How do I persuade 88yo friend to ask for a new hip?

[IzzyGee]

I have an 88yo friend who has a painful hip, both when walking and sitting. She is one of those people who pushes a trolley around the supermarket leaning on it heavily. Apart from being slightly overweight and increasing painkiller use she is fit as a fiddle. Five years ago she had the other hip done, after years of nagging from me.

She says she has heard that the NHS won’t give new hips to the over 80s anymore. She also prefers a GA rather than spinal anaesthesia and believes her views will not be considered (she is a retired nurse).

What do you know that I could tell her that might make her reconsider?

PS I know my last post was about surgery.....honestly I am not obsessed.

Nothing. Leave her alone. She’s a retired nurse so she knows where to go if she changes her mind. Her life, her choice.

Well as it’s not your choice or business I would tell her that you are sorry for nagging her and will from now on leave her alone regarding the subject.

Sounds like she doesn’t want it done and is trying to come up with reasons to tell you why

Spinal and sedation. She’ll just snooze throughout. Or she can just ask for general anaesthetic, I struggle to see why it would be a problem.

Jesus, she's 88. Leave her the fuck alone.

How badly is her mobility affected?

I dunno. It's a huge operation, operations have lots of risks.

Ok I understand that it’s not my decision. I’m just keen to make sure she isn’t making her decisions based on decades-old information or misinformation.

She's probably basing it on the experience she had of getting her other hip done 5 years ago.

Hip replacements aren’t a walk in the park either OP

Teyem She loved her hospital stay last time.......loved the attention from the staff, the consultant, friends fussing on her return home. I don’t understand it.

Yes - but it is a big operation to recover from and she might not feel it's worth the fuss and inconvenience to her life.

You don't need to understand it, you just need to accept it.

I’d keep out of it.
She’s obviously got the capacity to ask questions and make a decision if she wants to.
What if you talked her into it, and she died of post operative complications? You’d feel awful!

If I was 88 the last place I'd want to be is in hospital

Ok...l’m a bully...... I’ll shut up about it. Thank you everyone for making that clear to me.

It depends on her quality of life really op. I don't think you're being a bully at all, just caring.
I had my knee replaced last week, I had a spinal for pain relief AND a general anaesthetic!

FIL (age 85 now?) had a successful hip replacement about 18 yrs ago. He's nearly housebound last 3 yrs from other hip going bad, but refuses to countenance idea of another operation. They could even afford to go private, but he's stubbornly stuck in his ways. In his case, the lack of mobility will bring other bad health things to him sooner. A sane decision would have been to ask for hip OP 3-4 yrs ago. He won't do it. Kind of a miserable old sod, anyway, but you would be with all that chronic pain (sigh).