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Original poster

My girl is the only girl in her year

55 replies

Nicolerb · 07/05/2019 18:26

My girl is the only one in her reception year. Has anyone else had a similar experience... and can it ever work out well in your opinion or experience?
We didn’t find out the gender imbalance until after we had begun the induction period and we were told by the school that it would probably be fine as they have mixed year group, ie yr 1 girls in her class. At first it seemed fine, but what we see now is that the yr 1 girls don’t choose to play with reception kids and that our girl feels increasingly left out of the boys games and social groups. She has no individual play dates at all, though she is included in group play dates. Can this ever work, or should we pull her out of school? A nearby school has said they are keen to take her and she would have 20 girls in her year group there. However, her current school is reassuring us that it will all be ok. Can this possibly work out well? Any thoughts would be appreciated!

OP posts:

DontCallMeBaby · 07/05/2019 18:59

Boys tend to get more of a teacher’s attention, so on that basis I would worry about a girl with few female peers, even without the social aspects. Years ago I did paired numeracy with three junior aged girls who were the only girls in their class of 30 - without prompting they told me they got very little attention in class.

SleepWarrior · 07/05/2019 18:59

If it was just for this year is stick it out, but it seems like it'll be an issue that follows her through the school.

ArfArfBarf · 07/05/2019 19:01

It’s not going to get better because no one will choose to move their daughter into a class with only one other girl if there are other reasonable options.

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limesoda · 07/05/2019 19:02

As somebody who was the only girl in the class for most of primary school, I would move her.

IsAStormApporaching · 07/05/2019 19:05

I was a stuident teaching in a school where there was only 3 girls in p7 ( 10 & 11 years of age)
Which was okay until the girls had a fight and isolated one.
It was very tricky to manage. And boys kept out of the whole sitiation regardless of the interventions we put in place.
It may be fine now as she is the only girl but if other girls where to join the dynamic could change completely.
I would concider a move to be honest.

Tawdrylocalbrouhaha · 07/05/2019 19:05

I'd move her - she'll be there until she's 11 years old, and that's a terribly long time with no female company.

KeepCoolCalmAndCollected · 07/05/2019 19:05

When my DS was in reception there were 7 boys and 2 girls.
Slowly but surely the numbers rose on both sides until eventually there were pretty much half and half and 28 in total.

PotteryLady · 07/05/2019 19:08

No it won't work out in my opinion. We started with 4 girls in reception and went down to 3 and 10 boys and the mixed year groups but the kids don't mix. My daughter felt lonely and was quiet so got sat next to disruptive boys so we moved her - the school had said it will work out but 6 months later it was getting worse.

Best move we made - she was so much happier.

thisisthetime · 07/05/2019 19:09

My dd is in Y1 and would hate this. She plays with boys and girls and has play dates with both but thrives so much on her friendships with girls. I’d move her. As she gets older she may feel more isolated as well.

youarenotkiddingme · 07/05/2019 19:20

I'd agree move her.

I seriously don't think at such a young age it will matter.

But thinking was ahead at some point in year 5/6 and will likely hit puberty. She will most likely benefit from other girls around her going through the same thing.

formerbabe · 07/05/2019 19:23

I'd move her. There's much more boys in my dds class...a 2/3 to 1/3 split and it definitely impacts her as there are less friendship opportunities.

FreeWee · 07/05/2019 19:46

I would move her. There's only 6/30 girls in DD4's year and I'm worried.

viques · 07/05/2019 19:48

On a positive note she's a shoo in for Mary in the Nativity play

jellyfish70 · 07/05/2019 19:53

There may well be girls that join the school during the year but I would be concerned. Follow your instinct.

sarararararah · 07/05/2019 19:54

My DS is the only boy in his year. As a teacher, I was very worried about how it would work out for him but decided not to send him elsewhere as DD was already at the school and settled and happy. He’s now in Y3 and it’s been fine. However, he does have individual friendships and play dates with the girls and has strong relationships with them. He also plays football at playtimes and lunchtimes with the other boys (both older and younger) which is a great leveller I think. If at any point he says he isn’t happy we will move him like a shot. In your shoes I would definitely move her.

MitziK · 07/05/2019 19:56

No friends? How does that work out when there's a whole class of children for her to make friends with?

YouBumder · 07/05/2019 20:03

I’d move her as well

How many boys are there is it a very small class?

DonutCone · 07/05/2019 20:12

DS spent Y3 as the only boy. He was honestly fine. He played with the Y2 or Y4 boys at break time. He seems to get on much better with girls than a lot of his friends do now which aI do think is partly because of that year, he realized that actually they were all just children.

HeadsDownThumbsUpEveryone · 07/05/2019 20:18

There may well be girls that join the school during the year

It sadly doesn't sound like this has happened at all during her reception year so it doesn't bode well for the next few years. I'm assuming it is quite a small cohort so that would also make the likelihood of new children joining lower.

ukgift2016 · 07/05/2019 20:20

Move her. The school are only encouraging you to stay so they can attract more girl students to the class.

Original poster

Nicolerb · 07/05/2019 20:25

Thanks very much everyone. I think we will get the application for the new school out at the end of the week x

OP posts:

HeadsDownThumbsUpEveryone · 07/05/2019 20:29

I think we will get the application for the new school out at the end of the week

I think you are making the right call. The school don't see it as a problem and as another poster suggested they probably only want your daughter to stay to attract more girls to the cohort. I think it would be hard for her going forward. She has clearly not formed strong friendships with the boys although there's nothing to say if a girl joined they would get on either.

I think moving her to a school with a larger cohort will mean she can find her own group of friends and year 1 is a perfect age for such a move. I hope it all goes well for her.

MumUnderTheMoon · 07/05/2019 20:38

I wouldn't move my dd from an outstanding school because she was the only girl in her year. I think your way overthinking it if I'm honest.

whiteroseredrose · 07/05/2019 20:57

I don't think you're overthinking it at all. If you read MN threads most of the instances when DC are unhappy at school it is due to friendship issues not teaching and learning. DD was already convinced that boys were silly and annoying by the end of YR. She'd have been devastated not to have female friends.

Plus the dynamic in a boy-heavy class is quite different to a more balanced class.

I'd move her.

Overthinker33 · 07/05/2019 21:13

Your definitely not overthinking it, you are looking out for your dd and trying to be proactive

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