Work colleague makes me feel like shit, and does it in such a nice way

[cryingintomytupperware]

Colleague is a very Type A workaholic. She comes in early and leaves late (unpaid) so obviously she gets through a lot more than me. I am scatterbrained and I just work in a very different way.

Today she went over my head to our boss about an issue I genuinely knew nothing about. Boss came to me and asked me why I hadn't told her- because I didn't know to start with.

I can't even complain about her because she's perfectly chatty and nice enough. I just don't ever feel good enough in comparison.

Doesn't sound like anything to worry about from what you've said. Did your boss believe you when you said you hadn't known about the issue? Sounds like you need to build your confidence a bit.

Should you have been aware of the issue though? Is it related to the work you do?

It sounds like you are disorganised and others are picking up the slack. They must be for your manager to ask you about an issue you didn’t know about but were probably expected to, right?

Keep a note book, take notes religiously, then follow up end of day to make sure everything’s done. Set up reminders for deadlines. You need to make an effort for work.

I don’t agree with the whole coming in early and staying late lark - but on the other hand, I hate it when others are disorganised and it affects something I’m working on.

It’s hard to say from your OP whether she is trying to undermine you or whether she works hard/performs better leaving you feeling insecure. May be a bit of both? Be honest, do you think you should up your game even in terms of quality of output rather than hours worked?

Or, for example, she’s coming in early and staying late because you aren’t pulling your weight OP. Not saying that’s what’s happening...

I think the fact you have described yourself as scatterbrained probably means you are far more slack than you realise.

Should you have known about the issue that she went to your manager about?

When you say she comes in early and stays late - do you know what time she actually comes and goes, is she working an extra 3 hours a day or do you just mean she’s there before you are and stays after you do to finish up whatever task she’s working on?

do you just mean she’s there before you are and stays after you do to finish up whatever task she’s working on?

Yes.

So everything she does is completed earlier than me etc- even although everything I do is to standard and on time.

I should have known about the issue but it wasn't my fault that I didn't IYKWIM. It's so hard to describe without outing myself.

I worked with a woman like that once. She was nice but also, kind of had her nose in the air sniffing for new work, it was a lot to compete with..... she was harder working than I was first but only because she kind of left NO ROOM FOR me round the edges. I went to my boss about it actually. I didn't bitch about her, I just said I felt I could be as hard working as she was but that she was eclipsing me. Maybe not the best choice of words but luckily he seemed to get it. He made our responsibilities clearer which was good. I got a chance to step up. I didn't have to clamour and compete with her for the same work.

she kind of left NO ROOM FOR me round the edges

Oh, THIS. This is what I feel like.

If she’s the same grade as you then she might feel the professional thing is to go above you regarding any work issues than to discuss them with you.

Definitely talk to your boss! YOur boss will want to get the best work out of you BOTH. If you're both potential ''suns'' but your orbits are colliding then that is a waste of potential and talent that could be managed more productively.

It's the kind of thing women hang back from raising but a man would have no qualms about it.