3 year old night waking - losing will to live

[edgeofheaven]

DD is 3.5 years old. She was a terrible sleeper as a baby, improved from 12 months old but started to deteriorate after DC2 was born.

At the moment she wakes up every night at least once with some complaint or issue. When we try to take her back to her bed, she cries screams and throws a tantrum. She is very big for her age so I can't just pick her up when she is thrashing about.

I have tried everything. Sticker charts, Gro clock, bribery, taking her to the shop to choose her favourite new bedding, taking her to buy a huge stuffed animal, etc. She just doesn't f-ing care. She wakes me up every single bloody night and then wakes up the entire family with her antics. I hate having her in our bed because she thrashes around and I get no sleep at all.

Is there any hope of things improving because it's been like 9 months and I am sick of it. She's stubborn and prone to tantrums in general so this is a continuation of her overall demeanor but my patience to deal with it at 3 AM is limited.

I know a twelve year old who still sleeps every night in his mum's bed. She, of course, gets no sleep at all because he's a wriggly sleeper and wakes her up every twenty minutes. You just never know if they will grow out of it or won't! I wouldn't risk it.

gamerchick

Mine is 3 and still wakes in the night. For milk!! I tell her we don't have any milk and she can have water, sometimes she accepts this and other times she flips out.

We think she has bad dreams and wants milk as comfort to go back to sleep. She often wakes in the middle of the night talking/shouting/moaning about something - "The wiggle worm!! Wiggly work!! Water won't go in the cup! Mumaaaaaa!" But she is still asleep. Sometimes she wakes herself up on this stage though.

No advice unfortunately :((

She sleeps in her own bed right next to our bed btw in the same room

course they outgrow it, your 12yo will not be climbing into bed with you grin
I think I outgrew going into my parents bed around 5?

Be wary. I was still sleeping in parents bed on the odd night at 10. Dad would work nights and come home and have to sleep in my single bed!

We did mattress on the floor in our room with DS1 as it was literally the only way any of us got a reasonably good night. The turning point was when DS started school, he started sleeping through for the first time ever and wanted to be in his own room like his classmates.

She won't be in your bed forever. I'd be a softie and let her in. She probably won't even wake you and just sneak in beside you for a cuddle. When she's a little older (maybe 4) you could try again.

OP you have my sympathies, I'm not sure hell even describes how bad it can be with a poor sleeper. I know it doesn't feel like it but it will get better at some point, but in the meantime you still have to get through it.

I personally had her in bed with us, if necessary DH or I would decamp to her bed, she started in her own bed and then came through to us at some point in the night. It was every night and then over time it got less. I remember being on holiday when she was 4.5 and saying to DH how different things were from the year before when she was in the bed with us every night. She is now 7 and very occasionally will appear, but now it is usually on a Saturday morning at 6.45 demanding breakfast.

I have a 13 year old too, she has had the odd night in our bed since starting secondary, I think she sometimes just needs a little more reassurance. I half expected her to appear last night as exams start today, but she didn't.

Good luck, hang in there, and because I know how rubbish it is.

I let my DD sleep in with me at 3, I hope it will change one day but don't have the energy or stamina to do anything about it! Plus I'm weak and she knows it

My ds never slept in our bed. We made a very comfy bed next to his so we could always settle him in his room.

Dd was a different matter. She came into our bed a lot but only from about aged 5/6. Now at 7, she rarely comes into our bed thank god.

I feel for you. It’s the wiggling and feet in face that has me looking 90!!

My almost four year old (youngest of three boys) has just done three nights in his own bed...well he’s woken up at 4.30 each night, but back to sleep straight away with a few reassuring words.
He’s never done three nights in his bed before!!! If he slips back I’ll be sleeping in the lounge and leaving dh to deal with the night time torture.