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Original poster

Age gap relationships - success stories!

25 replies

Plancina · 06/05/2019 11:29

I have been seeing someone for 7 months now who is 19 years older than me (I’m 33, he is 52) and it’s going really well, he makes me really happy and we find spending time together very easy. we share a lot of interests and we have similar attitudes to work and to what sort of lifestyle we want. I’ve had a lot of negativity about the relationship from some friends and family all based on the age gap (the friends who have met him all really like him though). I’d be interested to hear of people who have made this sort of age gap work...

OP posts:

Kez200 · 06/05/2019 14:07

I had a friend with a bigger age gap. He was in his 50s and she under 20. They had been completely cut out of their families lives - in part as it had started as a work affair. I didnt know them until she was in her 50s and he was an elderly man and she was his carer. They were still very much in love. They hadnt had children of their own and I dont know why that was.

I feel it is what it is. There is absolutely nothing wrong with an age gap relationship. However, it will have potential for a greater number of issues but that really depends very much on the individuals.

Pinkarsedfly · 06/05/2019 14:09

My DP and I were 34 and 49 when we met.

We got together after a few years, and got married yesterday! Happy as clams!

Go for it!

Justonedayatatime11 · 06/05/2019 14:10

There are 15 years between my husband and I. Very similar ages to you. Tbh I don't even notice most of the time!

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Kez200 · 06/05/2019 14:11

Congratulations!!! Pinkarsedfly (do hope thats not your married surname! Lol)

tinyvulture · 06/05/2019 14:15

17 years here (he’s older). Not been together ages, but well over a year now. I don’t think it matters. In fact, I rather like it......

Pinkarsedfly · 06/05/2019 14:18

Thank you Kez

We’re still at the grinning like loons stage

ch3rrycola · 06/05/2019 14:19

Almost 15 years him 14years older than me. Very happy still

NoNoNoOohmaybe · 06/05/2019 14:21

15 years difference and been together for 8 years with 2 small children.

I worry about the future, retirement and health. But I've never found anyone else who I find as interesting, witty, fun and I can feel completely at peace with. So I just push those worries to the side (and am a bit more financially prudent than I might be otherwise).

AndNoneForGretchenWieners · 06/05/2019 14:22

DH was 44 and I was 22 when we married. Throughout our marriage we were so happy, we started out without a pot to piss in and to be honest it made us stronger as a team. We had no power imbalance, and DH was my best friend for 20 years. He died this year from lung cancer, but until the day he died we were devoted to each other and very much in love. I miss him so much.

PorpentinaScamander · 06/05/2019 14:24

There's a 28 year age gap between someone I know and her dp. He's older. His daughter is older than her as well. They seem happy enough and are moving in together soon

marvellousnightforamooncup · 06/05/2019 15:48

14 years between us, we've been together 22 years.

Gretchen

DinosApple · 06/05/2019 16:51

18 years between us. We met earlier than you OP, but have been married 10 years with two primary aged DC now. We're both still very happy together.

Long term I will be the sole earner when DH retires (he's mid 50s now), so like someone earlier said I find myself being more financially prudent then I would have been with someone younger.

mouse26 · 06/05/2019 16:59

19 yrs between us, I'm 32 and he's 51. We've been together 13 years and, soppy as it sounds, our love grows stronger everyday. Some people used to comment on the age gap but they soon realised that we didn't care

Nix32 · 06/05/2019 17:19

10 years between us, together 16 years. Mostly the gap's not a problem, but it does feel that as we get older, it gets bigger. I'm in the middle of my career, he's looking at retirement, for example. It's not necessarily an issue, but don't assume that just because it isn't at the minute, it won't be in the future.

helpfulperson · 06/05/2019 23:22

My family have age gaps from 10 to 30 years. Both directions. And all parties seem happy and have been together 20 plus years. You love who you love.

KnifeAngel · 07/05/2019 07:01

13 years difference with us. Together 23 years now. Age is just a number.

Original poster

Plancina · 07/05/2019 07:19

thanks all! So many lovely stories here. We are so happy with each other and I feel so lucky to have found someone who loves me like this.
I’ve had a lot of comments like “what about when he is 72 and you’re 50” etc but I feel you never know what life brings and that isn’t a reason not to be with someone you love.

OP posts:

FishCanFly · 07/05/2019 09:33

26 years difference. 17 years together, 3 dc.
It was difficult in the beginning to deal with all the negativity as I was only 19 at the time. But after a while the novelty of gossip fades.

And yeah, I somethimes worry about becoming a widow too early, but so many young people die unexpectedly, so God only knows...

Damntheman · 07/05/2019 11:48

My parents had 14 years between them, they were blissfully happy and married for just under 50 years when my dad died. An age gap between consenting adults doesn't have to mean anything untoward, I'm so happy for you!

My friend recently got engaged to her fiance who is 19 years older than her. She's taken some shit for it but they are honestly perfect together. I can't imagine anyone better suited for her at all! Ignore the haters.

outvoid · 07/05/2019 11:52

A good friend of mine is engaged to and has been with a man 38 years her senior since she was 19! It’s going very well, they’re very much in love.

Original poster

Plancina · 07/05/2019 12:45

I definitely don’t think there’s any dodgy power dynamic - we recognise each other’s strengths and we very much support each other where we can, he makes clear he values my opinion and advice. We both like to cook and share household tasks and we share lots of interests, enjoy going walking and hiking and the cinema and theatre etc. I’ve never been more fulfilled in a relationship 😊 it’s very heartening to hear of so many positive examples as well

OP posts:

Peacocking · 08/05/2019 07:16

I managed a large care home for some time. I saw a lot of doddery, infirm and demented elderly gentlemen coming into respite to give their much younger, exhausted wives a rest from caring for their every need. It wasnt an angle I'd ever considered before (and had been in an age gap relationship myself). Not something I'd recommend after seeing how hard and sad life was for these women who were just approaching retirement age themselves.

allthegoodusernameshavegone · 08/05/2019 07:21

My DH & I were the same age as you when we met, 16 years later and married we are still blissfully happy. I never wanted children though and he already had two so we didn’t have that added pressure. There was concern from a couple of my friends early on but all in all I really couldn’t be happier.

AleFailTrail · 08/05/2019 08:58

20 years between me and dp. We celebrate 10 years together tomorrow. No worries about age or the future, no odd power dynamic (in fact we were both terrified when we realised we loved each other because of the age gap). There were 18 years between my parents and they lasted 25 years together

hellhavenofury · 08/05/2019 11:30

25 year difference here and similar ages to you OP - Been together over 8 years and get married next year! Enjoy your relationship :-)

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