When a friend of a friend is vile...

[yellowalstroemeria]

My friend is lovely (obviously).

Her best friend (met at uni, work in same industry) is an utter brat. I just can't believe she's friends with her

We're all three of us at a similar stage in life and friend keeps suggesting we do things together. It's very awkward to decline but I am not spending any more time in that woman's company than I need to!

I would tell your friend why.

I had this although only on major occasions like birthdays/hen night/wedding. I put up with it for her but didn't enjoy it.

Just tell her. “You know I love you to bits, Louise - but I really can’t stand Jenny. Sorry.”

I’d tell her she wasn’t my type of person and decline any invites

I'm currently using the 'no, no, you and Jenny can spend some time together without me being a third wheel'. I don't think she's ready to hear the 'can't stand her' line and I'd rather not lose my own friend.

She's the sort of person who's horribly rude to staff. Not nice.

You just have to keep making excuses then. Your friend will get it after a while. She may even ask you if there’s an issue at which point you can say, “I understand you love her but she and I don’t really connect so I’d rather see you one-on-one if that’s cool”.

she and I don’t really connect

oh I like that.

If she's rude to staff, I'd just say, I don't want them spitting in my food and drinks because she's so obnoxious to them. You can go out with her. I'll go out with you when she's not there...

Tbh, your friend's not that nice if she's ok with her other friend being rude to people.

Can you gift her a multipack of high calorie energy bars and tell her they 'burn carbs' a la Mean Girls?

You don't have to say you "can't stand her". You can say that you don't think you get on that well or something bland. But enough to stop her from going on about it.

My very good friend was avoiding social invitations because she didn't like my other very good friend and I didn't realise. I then saw the light regarding this friend and no longer see her. When first friend told me she didn't like spending time with her I felt awful and wished she had told me.