Need someone to talk too

[Tillie30]

My partner of 13 years, previously had a problem with drink and drugs, but 3 years ago he gave it up for me and our children, but recently he’s started again..where he’s missing for days and days..I always said if it was to start up again I would leave, the last 3 years have been the best 3 years of our relationship so to say I’m heartbroken is an understatement.. I don’t know what to do, I don’t wanna split my family up but I can’t go through all this again, I’m so down in myself I just don’t Know what to do.. I’m also pregnant so stress it’s causing me isn’t good..

You need to leave. If you don't you are telling him it is okay for him to treat you like this and it isn't!
You gave an ultimatum and he doesn't care for his parnter and kids enough to stick to it. The drink will always come first.

Well he’s proved he’s not going to change, so it’s up to you if you want to waste the rest of your life with him.
Also dont you really think your dc deserve better?

I know I need to leave, but What’s stopping me is how it will affect the children..

You are on damage limitation now with the kids.

Option A- children watch their father descend into chaos and live through the worry of where he has gone with you. They become insecure in their relationship and watch you worry.

Option B- they live a stable existence with you, where you can protect them more from his disappearances and habits. They have planned contact when you can. Their relationship with their dad is still affected but it is more controlled because they live with you.

He is giving you no option. Their lives will change now, whether you leave or not, because he has gone backwards.

It will benefit your children to leave

Your all right, I know what I need to do I need to get my brave girl pants on and do this for them.. this is probably the hardest thing I’ve ever done

You won't be splitting your family up. He's done the damage. He knew the consequences of starting back up again.

Do what's right by those kids and don't be weak.

staying around drink and drugs will do them more harm than leaving.

The kids will be fine, they’ve got you and you’re stronger than you think

I think sometimes the hardest thing is accepting when we don't have a choice because the person behaving irresponsibly has effectively taken it away. I feel for you OP.

Thankyou so much everyone for your kind words..I think I just needed someone else to tell me leaving is the right decision, I do love him dearly but I can’t do this no more, I need to be happy