People giving food constantly

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DH's family have a thing about food. I think they may have eating disorders. / disordered eating. They aren't normal about food, it seems to have a special significance.

They are always giving me / us food, things like crisps, sweets, biscuits and cake which they refuse themselves. But they seem to think it is OK for me to eat it and the children!

MIL is the worst for it but the sisters also...this week we have had (and this is after the madness of Easter) - jaffa cakes (two kinds,) kit kats, 2 chocolate oranges for the children, large crisps, and more. I might need to start giving some to the food bank, but then feel guilty about that as it is not too healthy overall.

My DCs are not overweight and don't snack that much, so am trying to limit these treats to the weekends but wondered if anyone else had this and how to deal with it? They can seem quite upset when you don't eat the food given as well.

Give the excess food to the food bank. I'm sure they can distribute it amongst the more healthy/nutritious food. If I needed to use a food bank I'd welocme the occasional packet of crisps or chocolate orange!

I don't think it sounds like they have eating disorders, they're just a bit more into food as treats than you are. Smile and thank MIL, keep enough for the DC to have the occasional weekend treat and pass the rest on.

' I don't think it is great to give food as a treat generally, to be honest. It's just food...'

Just food 😬 I come from a family of feeders and married a classically trained chef. We definitely don't think it's 'just food' in our house

Sending you home or showing up at your house with carrier bags full of snacks, not in the context of a party = slightly weird.

Yes it is this. Not sure why pp need to keep going on about the food bank thing. It's more the gifting is the issue.

I just wondered if others had the same. and what they did.

Also yes they do, (well the sister) have diagnosed eating disorders.

From the OP:

DH's family have a thing about food. I think they may have eating disorders. / disordered eating.

2.5 hours later:

Also yes they do, (well the sister) have diagnosed eating disorders.

From you 'think they might' to diagnosed disorders in 2.5 hours! Amazing progress.
Thanks for the update OP!

"Sending you home or showing up at your house with carrier bags full of snacks, not in the context of a party = slightly weird."

I don't find it weird. My maternal gm always had a box of food for us to take home, some home-cooked and some shop bought including lots of cakes. Giving food is just what mothers/grandmothers do isn't it?

If you want somewhere to donate the chocolate oranges and Jaffa cakes to I will happily take them of your hands! - I'm now thinking of going to the shop to buy these items as a Jaffa cake would go nicely with this cup of tea ( ok I admit I wouldn't just eat one) and chocolate orange with a glass of wine whilst watching line of duty - nice bank holiday treat.

This is one of my pet hates to be honest, as much as people will try and tell you it is YOU with the problem. It isn’t.

There is a rape analogy based around a cup of tea. It isn’t okay to force something unwanted on someone else. End of.

Is it give, to take home or give, to eat there and then.
If it's too take home, then either say sorry we've too much in our treat box at the moment or put it in the box and tell the kids one thing per day.
Not a big deal

When you say there aren’t normal about food and that it has a special significance, you know that that actually IS pretty normal
Food can be away of showing that you care, I never go to someone’s house empty handed BUT I dont expect them to eat what I give them instantly
It’s fine to prefer your dc to have healthy snacks but the odd Jaffa cake won’t hurt them, you can put the unhealthy stuff away and eat it gradually
Unless there’s a lot more to it their eating doesn’t sound disordered at all

A grandmother giving her grandchildren some KitKat's and crisps that their mother prefer they not eat is in no way analogous to rape.

That's not really the point of the cup of tea analogy.

Unless the OP is going to come back and tell us the MIL pins the children down and force feeds them the chocolate.

My Mum used to do this, and I had to politely ask/tell her to stop. I've never kept a treat box/cupboard in my house, treats aren't banned but they're not part of our regular everyday diet either.
Fortunately my Mum accepted that and bought them other things instead, like little books.
I'd just be polite but firm and ask them to stop bringing food, and yes it's fine to donate things like this to a foodbank. People can always say no thanks to the biscuits or crisps if they really don't want them.

That is like saying a cup of tea is in no way analogous to rape, yet as I am sure you know, there is an analogy based around that very scenario related to consent.

It isn’t about tea, kitkats or sex really. It is simply about respecting someone’s no as a no.

I've seen the tea consent video and it works because of the scenarios it uses.

This scenario 'MIL gave the kids Jaffa cakes, but I don't like them to eat too many Jaffa cakes' is in no way the same.

As I said, if MIL holds the children down and forces them to eat Jaffa cakes I could see the analogy. She doesn't. At least not yet, lets see what the OP updates us with...

@practicallyperfectwithprosecco
Snap!
We have already bought a chocolate orange specifically for Line of Duty 🍊