How much time do you spend with your teens?

[youarenotkiddingme]

As the title says really

My ds doesn't go out with friends but will game online with them. He may go out once every few months but he's autistic so socialising tends to knacker him out!

I'm not a controlling parent and will happily allow him out with curfews and boundaries etc.

Ds swims so trains 6 times a week. 4 evenings and 2 mornings.

Yesterday I box set binged and napped and he gamed all day.

Today we are going into town as he trod on (and broke!) his glasses yesterday 🤦🏼‍♀️ and then to do food shop.
He's stripped his bed and sorted washing into colours for me and will hoover house later.
I do and hang out washing, will make dinner and clean bathroom etc.

Then tonight he's training and we'll be out for 3.5 hours.

I don't always 'make' him come shopping although I do ask him to help me at times and he always comes down to carry it in and unpack if I've gone alone.

One or 2 days/weekends a month we are at swim meets.

I go to gym with another parent (we are becoming friends) or for long 4-5 mile walks a few times a week while kids train.

We (ds and I) generally enjoy each other's company and at swim events and training all adults and teens get on and we have a laugh as a group. They are great kids with a great work ethic, great team spirit and a few budding comedians!

I feel like the balance is right and suspect this is the norm for most families? However a close friend basically suggested I spend too much time with ds, shouldn't expect him to come anywhere with me or expect him to contribute so much to the day to day running of the house.

So I thought I'd ask the MN collective!

Sounds fine to me. Great that you are instilling good housekeeping skills in him. His future partner will thank you.

Hopefully! Although she may need to write a 'plan' for him like I do - his executive function skills are dire 🙈😂

I should have said I do go out. I have a life away from him other than when he trains. But it's not every week (maybe coffee/ meal) with friends once a month. But I couldn't afford more.

You don’t mention his age, DS is in sixth form but has just been 18. He goes to cadets two evenings a week and is off on a cadet camp for the bank holiday weekend.

DH drops him at his sixth form college which is a 35 minute drive and round the corner from DH work place, so they chat every morning and he gets the train home. I pick him up from the train station. One day it’s early so we have lunch together. He is very sociable so out and about a lot, he also has a GF, she comes to ours twice a week for dinner with us and we often play a board game. DS will help with a bit of housework. He does his own room and washing and will hoover. He cleans my car as he drives it. He often does the bins.

Oh yes - age would help 🤦🏼‍♀️

He's 14 and year 10.