Wedding gift for destination wedding

[Normandy144]

Just looking to canvas opinion here on what's normal for a gift for a destination wedding. A bit of background if it helps.

Couple in question are a relation (but not close, so think cousin rather than sibling to me). Wedding is costing us £2k to attend as a family of 4. They have not included a gift list with the invitation but nor have they stipulated no gifts.
I've never been to a destination wedding before so don't know what the norm is here?
What would you do?

Tbh I know it's a cardinal sin, but I'd give some cash. Otherwise they are going to have a nightmare getting things home!

I’ve been to two destination weddings and didn’t get either of them a present. You’re paying a lot of money to attend so they shouldn’t expect anything.

Costing £2k.... id be giving them the gift of my presence at the weddding but if you’ve got the spare money then I’d also give them cash.

We gave cash

Nothing, they have put you in a situation where you are spending 2k and that is massively unreasonable. Destination weddings are incredibly selfish.

Cash was my initial thought or a gift card. Am struggling with the amount though. Apologies for the drip feed, but for further context they're a professional, home owning couple in their 20s. They recently attended our wedding and did not send their own gift, but rather relied on their parents to send a gift on behalf of their wider family. I'll be honest, i found that strange. I could understand if they were a student still living at home but they're fully integrated into the responsibility of the adult world.

So far it's 3 vs 2 in favour of nothing.

Don’t get them anything you’re already paying a lot to attend

Don't bend over backwards in that case- I assume they weren't £2K out of pocket to attend your wedding?

I got married a few weeks ago, and can honestly say that I didn't expect or require anything beyond the people I love actually attending. Some people gave us gifts, but we were very happy to receive thoughtful cards, and I haven't kept a tally of who went beyond that.

Bitoffun no, assuming they paid their own hotel bill, then it would have cost them £120 to attend our wedding plus petrol. We also didn't ask for gifts but received many.

Judging by the responses so far, a £25 gift card would suffice and probably be considered generous in the circumstances.

2 fucking K? That's gift enough.

Most couples don't mention gifts because they don't expect one, however we have given John Lewis vouchers in such circumstances (£50) as whilst yes it cost us money, we used it as an excuse for a holiday (and both times the whole wedding, two days worth) were fully paid for by the couple not like English weddings where you need to pay for drinks)

Is the destination a place you’d want to go anyway? That’s a lot of money! In these circumstances it would be a card only from me

Magmatic80 we are making a holiday out of it, so that's our choice. It's in school holidays, hence the expense. The flights would cost the same for a 2 day visit vs a week so we have decided to stay longer since the children are off school.

We went to a fairly expensive destination wedding a few years ago - no gift since it was already costing plenty.

Another one saying no wedding gift or cash OP, apart from the £2K you are spending on getting there, accommodation etc. Plus clothes and spending money for anything not covered by them... And they personally didn't actually give you a gift?

From the other side, OH and I got married a couple weeks ago and it wasn’t a destination wedding per se but about half our guests flew into town for it. We were married in NYC because that’s where I am; half our guests live here already. The rest flew in from different parts of the States and Europe (that includes the UK).

We specifically told people they didn’t have to get us anything but we did start a cash registry because lots of folks were asking where our registry was. OH and I are going to be country hopping the rest of the year due to life circumstances so we couldn’t handle physical presents. We are literally living out of two suitcases each for the next few months, especially me, and can’t carry extra weight. People seemed fine with that explanation.

I would say about 40% of the guests gave us a (money) gift online or in person via card. The gifts ranged from $75 from a friend-couple (35-ish years old w/2 small kids in North Carolina) to $600 from OH’s older sister and her husband (55-ish years old, living in England). We received no physical gifts, thankfully.

More directly, @Normandy144 if you wanted to give them something, I’d say £50 – £100 would be fine but don’t feel pressure to give. They probably really don’t expect that much.

I forgot to mention that my OH’s other sister who couldn’t attend, sent a card with a £50 John Lewis voucher card over the Atlantic with their attending sister. OH was properly delighted to be able to spend that in Waitrose when he gets back.