I think I have had enough

[PomBearWithAnOFRS]

I can't do it anymore.
We are on the absolute bones of our arses, we got £1300 on Tuesday from universal credit, and now have £400 left to get food, toiletries, gas, electric, phones, run the car for trying to get work and looking after my Mam, and the kids bus fares for a month.
There are five of us, I need tena lady, DD needs sanitary towels and tights, the boys desperately need new pants and no3 son needs a new blazer for school.
The telly has died tonight.
I am caring for my Mam.
DH is on the sick, being tested for various things including cancer, he is really ill and I am terrified.
I got a job and couldn't physically do it so had to resign.
This is like a litany of first worId problems I know, and I don't even know what I think anyone could say really.
I know other people have it so much worse than us, but my MH is not good just now, and I am making plans to just check out of this shit.
I just realised this sounds like a begging post, but it isn't. I just wanted to vent, and someone to talk me out of doing anything stupid.
Tell me it will be ok, please?

I am so sorry op I didn't want to read and run. That sounds absolutely shit but I'm sure it will improve. When I was little we used to search for pennies down the back of the sofa to be able to buy milk and bread. We all survived and we are all fine. It does pass. It will pass. Please call the samaritans if you are feeling desperate. Your children need you x

Are you on all the benefits you can be? What about your mom and husband? It sounds absolute shit at the moment. I hope things turn out for your husband.

Can you get carers money for taking care of your mom?

I really don’t know how benefits work there but there must be something to help you in this dire situation.

I wish you the best.

Thank you both for replying.
I have applied for carers since DH has been on the sick. Universal credit let's us keep £34 a week of it once it comes through. It takes six weeks, so hopefully another month to go.
It's not so much the being out of work, it's the constant threat of being sanctioned. DH still has to report to the job centre and do job search hours even though he has a sick note, and I have to fill in the online journal thing every week, even though my Mam will not ever get better. It is just hanging over us all the time.

It may be first world but it's your world and it's tough to be responsible for so many people. Call Samaritans on 116123 when you want to vent or rant or cry. Or you can also email them. Are you sure you're getting all the benefits you are entitled to? (CAB or Welfare Rights might help?) Does your Local Authority/DS school offer any help with uniforms? Do you have a local Freecycle group where you could ask for the blazer (it's the kind of thing they sometimes grow out of really fast)? Can you access a food bank (in my area you need to be referred but they can advise you). As well as food they have toiletries etc. Sorry I am just giving you advice which may not even be relevant, when you are just trying to hold it all together

Sounds very stressful. I can understand how you feel desperate, plus I guess you also feel it's all down to you to sort out. On a practical level, it'll have to be pound shop sanitary products/tena (or supermarket cheapies), same with pants.

With the blazer, can you contact the school welfare/wellbeing team and explain you are short of money this month and can they help? They usually have a tonne of old blazers/school clothes and can pass them on, or there are second-hand sales. I know it's hard to ask as you feel so vulnerable, but they would rather be helping you with this than dealing with a distressed child because his mum is so sad. It will be confidential and they will also keep an eye out for trips/other costs. It may also help them to know your husband and yourself are ill and that economically and mentally this is a struggle. They can then look out more for your children at school/involve pastoral care/tutors if you need to step up the help later on (depending what is wrong with your husband).

What else- I don't know if you could work as well as being a carer, so make sure that you are getting Carer's allowance for her plus any other help you can get from the council. You can have a carer's assessment yourself, you can get OT/Physio help for her like beds/frames to assist you, and the social care department will assess you for carers to come in.

Being a carer is fantastically stressful, so be kind to yourself. Good luck with it all, and go to your GP if it is all getting too much, and ring the Samaritans 0845 790 9090 if you are truly desperate. I have rung them and cried for an hour. It does help and they have heard it all before.

Just saw your last post, absolutely ridiculous you have to fill in a diary when you have a job already- being a carer! Keep on keeping on though. You are doing an amazing and valuable job caring for both your mum, your husband and for everyone else. It is very very hard to do this, but you are doing it anyway, however you feel.

Definitely let the school know what's going on and ask for help both with uniform and pastoral care.

Thank you all for posting.
I needed to vent and it helps to just know someone is out there listening, more than you would ever know.

Hope you're doing ok OP. So they may seem like first world problems to some but to you they are huge problems. Please try to remember there are always better days coming. This is about you and your MH but please also try to think of your DC's, DH and DM. How would they feel if they lost you? I'm sure they love you very much and would be devastated. Please speak to someone professionally about how you're feeling and also speak to CAB to ensure you're getting all the help you are entitled to.

Sounds like a really tough situation OP. Sorry you are going through all this.
Just a suggestion that may help a little bit, would your DD and yourself consider either something like a Moon Cup or washable pads? Once bought there is no more outlay as they are reusable? Maybe free up some weekly/monthly funds for you?

I hope your husbands tests come back ok.