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Original poster

Surgical Abortion

42 replies

dellrod1 · 04/05/2019 17:21

I know this might be an unpopular topic, but sadly I have found myself in a positron where I am pregnant and decided an abortion is the best option.
I couldn’t get booked in locally for over 2 weeks, and have found a clinic an hour away which will be able to complete the procedure Saturday next week.
My anxiety is through the roof, I just want it to be over. This is a private service and I will pay for the treatment.

I have told anyone about my decision, I can’t face it. Will I be able to do this alone? An hour away from home.
I have planned to get the train to the location in the morning, and then have a friend pick me up somewhere close by after. I can’t even bare to tell the friend why she will be picking me up.
I would love to be able to tell my mum and have her with me but I don’t think she will be able to look at me in the same way again and this breaks my heart that I can’t bare to tell her.
I wish also I could take my partner, but he will not understand why I have chosen to have an abortion.
Does anyone have any moral support or advice ?

OP posts:
Original poster
dellrod1 · 04/05/2019 18:10

I’m going to try and bring up the conversation with my partner tonight but if he is having none of it, I will tell my mum and ask her to come with me for support. I hope she understands my decision and why I can’t have a baby right now.

OP posts:
therearenogoodusernamesleft · 04/05/2019 18:51

That's a really good point - I have had some complications afterwards and have no idea how I would have hidden that from partner. And that all takes it toll psychologically - it won't all be over and done with when you leave the clinic, if only for the bleeding.

BogglesGoggles · 04/05/2019 18:54

When you are ready you really should discuss this with your partner. Good luck. I am sure your mother will understand. Parents are usually more understanding than you would expect Flowers

dumdumdeedum · 04/05/2019 19:22

How long have you been with your partner ? It's probably worse thinking about it.

Did you suffer anxiety before getting pregnant ? As pregnancy can trigger all sorts of things. Especially in the early stages as the hormones are so strong. Don't panic Op.

Original poster
dellrod1 · 04/05/2019 19:42

Unfortunatly I have shocking anxiety anyway, and this is just making it far worse 😔 me and my partner have been together for 10 years.

OP posts:
Pavlova31 · 04/05/2019 19:57

I would not give too much importance to the September job offer as a reason .It is a while away and offers can frequently be withdrawn .
A friend turned up on the first day( after moving to travel less to get there) only to be told the job no longer existed Confused
Take care and I hope you can share this with someone in real life soon Brew Flowers

Original poster
dellrod1 · 04/05/2019 20:28

Thankyou, it is not just simply the job offer in itself it is just that in general I do not feel that I want to go through with the pregnancy. It’s hard to explain, I feel desperately sad that I have got in this situation but I feel at peace with the decision I have made.

OP posts:
User199999999o9o999 · 04/05/2019 20:41

Definitely have someone with you. I had ERPC following and mmc which is the same procedure. I had loads of bleeding and contractions. I needed someone with me. There's also risks of severe bleeding so it's good to have support in case it happens. Grab some tenna pants too, much better then pads for bleeding.

My friend had a SA and was in and out and down the pub 2 hours later. She had no general from what i remember so less side effects.

summerfun13 · 04/05/2019 21:49

You can leave if a cab is booked.
The process isn't bad it's more mental than physical.
Keep in mind the reasons your doing it and don't dwell on the what ifs.
You may get upset and be in some slight pain but your get through it.
You don't need support, if you want it fine, but I went through it alone and just focused on the reasons and recovering afterwards.

SihtricsHorseWitnere · 04/05/2019 21:50

I'd book a cab and go to your friend's. You don't need to tell people for 'support', that's up to you.

goingtotown · 04/05/2019 22:43

I feel at peace with the decision I have made

Your partner needs to know that you’re having the abortion, I’m sure you won’t be able to hide it especially as you suffer with anxiety.
You’re prepared to risk the end of a 10 year relationship with your partner who you say you love because it’s not the right time to have his baby. I hope all goes well for you.

SihtricsHorseWitnere · 04/05/2019 23:07

Your partner needs to know that you’re having the abortion,

No, he does not. It's not his choice or his body. It can easily be hidden. Hmm. It's not 'his baby', it's her body carrying a foetus she does not want to continue carrying.

Hylobates · 05/05/2019 01:00

Sihtrics If I could upvote you, I would. I'd like to add that "love" does not equate to "willing to have child".

dell You don't have to justify your reasons. 'I don't want to be pregnant' is a good enough reason for termination. You should be fine afterwards but when I had mine, I was given antibiotics and told to avoid sex for 2 weeks, so you need to consider how you will deal with this if you make the perfectly valid decision not to tell DP.

Also, have a think about contraception going forward. Have you considered a copper coil at all? You can have one fitted immediately after a termination and they are a great option for many women.

Original poster
dellrod1 · 05/05/2019 08:51

I actually told my partner last night, and he has agreed to come with me or at least take me and collect me as I know he will only be allowed in the waiting room.

OP posts:
HoppityChicken · 05/05/2019 11:50

Ah, that's brilliant news dellrod1, that must be such a big weight off your mind, I think it would have been very stressful trying to keep it all a secret. Hope all OK between you two.

dumdumdeedum · 05/05/2019 13:57

I'm glad you are getting some support Thanks

User199999999o9o999 · 05/05/2019 17:43

That's great he's going to be there for you, as well he should. Heal up soon!

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