Im 7 weeks pregnant but due to an udiagnosed tear am risking feceal incontinence

[Loulincs]

Hi i am 7 weeks pregnant with baby number 4, but my second baby was large and born back to back i sustained a 3rd degree tear which my midwife told me was a 2nd and didnt require stitching, i had issues with my bowels after that but just urge, i had to go fast. During my 3rd pregnancy i started having slight leakage a tiny amount it was then when i was told i actually had a 3rd degree tear despite this And me begging i was not allowed a c section. My bowel control is now worse and i find myself pregnant again and already having problems i have not had any major accidents but im worried this pregnancy will leave me completely incontinent. I have been assured of a section this time but the the pregnancy alone could leave me with further damage. My partner and kids are excited about this baby iam terrified that after my life wont be worth living due to possible incontinence. I dont know what to do.

Your health needs to take precedence!

Why did you tell the other kids about it when you’re only 7 weeks?

Ask what the repair options are! This could be perfectly manageable.

I will do that but there are so many horror stories of repairs making things worse. I think ive lost my confidence with drs. X

Is the problem pelvic floor weakness, or that a repair to the area is needed?

I'm wondering if it's the former if you couldn't start seeing a women's health physio to look at working on rebuilding strength. If it can't be helped with exercise, they could always refer you for further intervention.

I have no idea why you would tell the children this early.

And in this situation I would put my own health (and therefore my existing children) first, personally.

What are the options you’ve been given? They don’t offer the mesh anymore, right (that caused real problems)? Have you been referred to a physio?

It’s a shame the children have been told, but there are ways to explain it as a “loss” that are age-appropriate I’m sure