Please help

[plymouthmaid]

Hi I've had a phone call from the police informing me that my daughter (21) has been arrested.
I was able to speak to her on the phone but we got cut off.
I managed to ring and speak to the desk sergeant who, obviously as she is an adult, couldn't give me any details.
I think she took pity on me and told me that she has been arrested for a 'minor assault' and will be spoken to in the morning.
She is drunk.
I am over an hours drive away from where she is.
Can anybody give me any indication as to what could happen?
I know there is little to go on but I am alone and absolutely beside myself.
Any help, or advice, would be hugely appreciated.

A minor assault if a first would see her given a caution, not thing more, but it will stay on her record as an adult. There’s nothing you can do sorry, other than be there for her when sober and try to work out how this has come to pass

Thank you for replying.
Will a caution stay on her record permanently?
She suffers from anxiety and shouldn't be drinking on her medication.
I will definitely be supporting her and having a very long and serious conversation with her.
I am devastated and scared for her.

I say leave her to it. Mummy rushing in to save the day won't help her. She's an adult and she needs to deal with the consequences of her actions.

If she applied for a job with an DBS such as teaching then yes it will show. She will be asked to voluntarily disclose it to most

Don't worry. I won't be rushing to save the day.
I couldn't agree more that she needs to take responsibility.
This is a whole new world for me and I have no clue how any of this works.
I really appreciate you all taking the time to reply.

How are you coping though? It’s not all about your daughter. You must be devastated

That's bloody harsh and unnecessary, Aquamarine.

The OP is asking questions to try and understand more about a process they haven't been up against before.

Where has the OP said they're planning to "rush in" to save anyone's day? Actually the converse, they're going to have a stiff conversation about the matter with their DD - but hey don't let that get in the way of you making it up as you go along.

OP, it was nice of the Duty Officer to give you some basic info and I'm sure they will give you a further update later in the morning. Try not to worry for now, she's been daft and hopefully this will be a strong message to her about controlling her alcohol intake!

I don't know how to describe how I'm feeling.
I never thought we'd ever be in this situation.
I haven't slept and hate not knowing what is going on or what will happen.
It's tough because I'm alone and have no one to talk to so you all being so kind and making the effort to reply is really appreciated.

A good thing to advise her on, OP, is that if she does need to make disclosure for a job interview, then she will need to

(a) take some action in the next few weeks, to rehabilitate herself eg doing something in the community to show she recognised her wrong doing and try to put things straight (plus an apology to the person affected by her aggression);

(b) take practice steps such as an anger management class, safe/appropriate alcohol consumption awareness;

(c) use the above when applying for jobs to show that yes she has a black mark on her DBS, but she's learned lessons and has taken steps to improve.

If I had a candidate applying for a job with that attitude, it would go down extremely well that they made mistakes but learned from them.

It will affect her ability to apply for certain jobs, but it at least keeps more options open to her.

@plymouthmaid unfortunately children do as they will, no matter how much you care. All I can say is you did nothing wrong. Tomorrow you’ll have apologies and you’ll need to be strong yet caring, this will be hard as you’ll be annoyed!

Hope your daughter sobers up and has learnt a valuable lesson about drinking alcohol whilst on medication.

I hope you’re ok op, as a mother you will always fear and worry for them, I know I do!

Don't worry too much about it, OP. It's a minor thing, she'll only get a caution for it, given at the police station. She won't even have to go to Court. She's just a silly girl. If this is all new to you, you're a lucky woman. When my ds's were younger, I was regularly woken up by police hammering at the door at about 7.00 in the morning -aaargh! Fighting, drinking, motoring offences (and worse). - (The ds's, not the police!)

Op, somebody might have hit her and she's hit them back in defence. I would definitely rush to help. She must be terrified.

My head is all over the place. I just want to know how she is.
I'm worried sick.
I want to hug her, shake her, talk to her and give her a bloody good bollocking all at the same time.

Couldn't read and run .
OP,not knowing the full facts its hard to comment BUT remember its innocent until proven guilty - the only thing she may have done wrong is get very drunk on a long bank holiday weekend,police attend an incident,your DD gets loud & lairy ,everyone had too much to drink , police unable to get coherent facts ,etc

As hard as it is, wait until you hear all the facts about what happened.

There's no rush to respond. Let your dd tell you what happened. Think it over. Stay calm. Then when your dd has slept talk it over.

Don't think you have to disclose a caution at an interview. Just any criminal convictions?