Son’s friends told him not to eat lunch

[SunsetBunny]

Because DS’s packed lunch included some vegetables, his friends told him not to eat it. And my DS, only being 8, thought that his friends wouldn’t sit near him and would spread tales about him if he didn’t do what they said, so he’s hardly eaten all day.

What do you think I could suggest to DS that he could say next time?

I thought maybe he could say “why do we need to talk about we’re eating, I’m not interested in yours so why do you need to comment on mine? Just get on with your food” or he could highlight the benefits of eating vegetables!

Or do you think I could contact the school about it and let them approach the subject more generally?

I’m a bit worried about where this could lead in the future, and that the desire to please his friends over doing what he knows is the right thing will lead him to trouble in future. So I just want to give him confidence to respond without pushing his friends away.

What was the offending lunch?

What did he have? At 8 I think both your responses are a little too much to hope for seeing ad your son is so easily led that he didn't eat his lunch. Sorry x

It was just veg pizza, not exactly out of the ordinary!
He’s not generally easily led, he’s well behaved & polite, doesn’t get into bother.
I don’t know if he’s suddenly more anxious about fitting in.

A big grin and "mmmm.... pizza!" would work better than highlighting the benefits of vegetables to 8 year olds.

I remember one girl (the "top dog") making a big song and dance about my disgusting brown bread sandwiches, and no one was to sit near me because they stank . Children are weird

I’m not sure if it would SecondHandTicking, I feel it needs something a bit more robust.
Shouldn’t kids be growing into mini hipsters in this day & age, where the healthy stuff is cool?
Veg pizza is hardly even that healthy, he often has carrot sticks, peppers, celery etc... & not sure if that is commented on.

Children are weird
And bloody rude and bad mannered!

Honestly I would worry less about the food and more about his ability to stand up to his friends. What if next time they want him to do something he shouldn’t?

This is exactly why I’m concerned about it wolfiefan.

I would be tempted to talk about how he felt hungry after not eating. Why didn’t he eat? Was it the right decision to do what his friends wanted? How could he handle it differently in future?
Also worth not relying on just one set of friends and building his resilience and self confidence.
Can you tell I have a teen? Trust me you want them to be able to say no when ex friends contact them on social media and offer them drugs.

I just tell my kids if others are being daft, tell them to get lost! Your wee speech is only going to be more fodder for kids on the look out for an easy target.

See I think him trying to give lectures to his friends - and actally anything that involves more than about 7 words - is not helpful. Saying something simple like "I like it" nonchalantly is much more achievable and is far more robust IMO in the sense that it makes their words like water off a duck's back. The best defence is not to let them "in". It's a bit like saying "I don't care" when someone criticises their clothes or whatever.

This link is not aimed at 8 year olds and it's about bullying rather than this but there's a nugget underlying it that might be relevant.