Throwing wood into the sea..

[Vagessence]

I visited the beach with my grandparents. They had a freakout because my son grabbed a massive branch and dragged it into the sea. Upon questioning them (and them treating me like a bit of a dunce as a result) apparently it's a terrible thing to do because it's littering. Is this common knowledge/actually true? They are really firm in ALL of their beliefs but I swear half of what they say is nonsense. They said "do you ever see wood floating in the sea?" Erm.. Driftwood mate? I also asked what about trees that fall into the sea, apparently they should be removed.

David Attenborough told me that driftwood is a great refuge for turtles and other small creatures and quite frankly, I'm more inclined to believe him.

I don't think it matters if he did eventually put the branch in or not, but I can understand why their gut instinct is to not pointlessly put wood anywhere but where it falls. It's probably perfectly harmless, but it feels wrong for some reason.

If the branch was on the beach was it not washed up from the sea?

I honestly thought this was a euphemism for wanking. Imagine my disappointment, etc...

@StoatofDisarray haha that made laugh. What on earth would the "sea" be reference to in a euphemism?

Also yes, the bloody thing floated onto the beach from the sea in the first place.

That's probably where it floated from.

I litter pick man made litter from the beach but I don't fuss about sticks.

Are they ok with skimming stones?

Crazy

What the actual fuck? Totally not a thing to worry about!!

On the other hand, I was watching an old episode of Saving Lives At Sea a few days ago. It showed the RNLI being called out because someone thought a large piece of driftwood was a person face down in the water.
A valid call out that merited an urgent response, but ultimately an unfortunate waste of a charity's resources and volunteers' time.

It'll rot. Or just float.

No big deal.

Great! I'll tell my son that what he did was absolutely fine then. He looked so confused as my grandad ran up shouting for him to stop and then fishing it out of the water.

I'm petty so I'd maintain eye contact and hurl it as far as I could into the sea

@FiremanKing my grandad is an avid stone skimmer. I'll have to chase him up on his hypocrisy, although I doubt I'll get a satisfying answer. He's very much a "I'm right, don't question me" kind of man.

Whoa, you SPOKE to David Attenborough??

@SneakyGremlins haha that would be brilliant. I don't think they'd speak to me again. I love them but they are a right odd pair.

@BessieBumptiousness you don't have his direct line? You poor thing.

When you say half of what they say is nonsense... What other shit do they come out with?

Yeah that's a bit uptight and anal for my liking.

Can you try to force yourself to think it's just their cute idiosyncrasies ?And tell your son it was fine.

As in son, my grandparents are bonkers. Just agree with them when they pull this stuff, it's cute, and you know you did nothing wrong. Anyhoo, what would you like for dinner,,

Kind of thing?

Next time make a point of dragging a log back to Grandad’s car so that he can take it home and put out in the bins on Wood recycling day.

@SneakyGremlins one of my favourites was the heated shouting match my gran and sister got in over my sis asking for salt to put on her food, there were actual tears. Salt is the devil don't you know? There are plenty others but since popping kids out my memory is utter shite.

Oh Christ, they sound awful!

Wait was your gran the poster who complained about the woman "pouring salt on her kids' food" on a thread a few days ago?

Our beach is full of wood. It isn’t litter.

We met a gentleman on a beach once and we exchanged pleasantries about the weather and how lovely the beach was blah blah blah, when he pointed out the sweeping band of seaweed along the shoreline.

“You think the Council would come along and clear that away, wouldn’t you?”.

WUT?