Conceiving next DC within 18 months of first?

[TurtlecalledTim]

DC1 is 13 months and still wakes up multiple times a night and breastfeeds (so we may find it hard to conceive before weaning, although my cycles are back)

I've read evidence about baby and mother risks with a pregnancy interval within 18 months, including autism risk. I'm knackered and worry my body won't be good enough to support a growing baby although my diet is good and I've taken prenatals for months

On the other hand, there are reasons why we think it would be sensible to conceive sooner rather than later if we can

Would love to hear from other mums how things worked for them!

Any mums or are you all too busy with little DCs causing havoc? 🙈

I’m sure you could read studies on all sorts of potential risks.
If you want a baby then TTC and see what happens.

I’ve got friends who have 11mths, 13mths, 19mths and 22mths between babies, all are fine. They’re just knackard 😏

I feel pregnant with my youngest around the time my eldest was 18 months. Probably just before.

I had a c-section and for personal reasons we didn't consider a second until eldest was a year old. My second pregnancy was definitely harder and took it out of my physically. I also had complications during pregnancy I never had with my first. But I think that is standard with every pregnancy, regardless of how long in between. Plus I had a toddler, worked full time and was being told my job was going. Not exactly a relaxed time for me!

My advice would be to wait until your eldest is sleeping better at night. My eldest slept through from early on and there is no way in hell I would have considered another if he wasn't sleeping well at a year.

I have fairly small gaps with my DC.

DC1 and DC2 have two years between them. I did get pregnant when DC1 was 6mo but had a MMC at four months then conceived DC2 when DC1 was 15mo. DC1 turned 2yo and DC2 arrived two weeks later.

DC3 was conceived when DC2 was 18mo, and then DC4 was conceived when DC3 was 2.2yo.

Most pregnancies after DC1 are harder work anyway. With DC1 if I was tired I could just go for a nap, no such luxury with DC2 onwards!

The age gaps are nice, hard work sometimes of course, but overall it's good. They tend to pair off a bit now into older two/younger two or girls/boys or middle two/youngest-oldest depending on what they're up to at any given time but they do quite a bit of playing together as a foursome too. They're 9, 7, 5, and 2 now.

We are TTC again and DC is nearly 4 months old... I asked the GP about it and she said they advise 3-6 months recovery time after a normal delivery and just to make sure I’m taking vitamins.

Ive got a 15mo gap and the first two years after my second dc was born was fucking awful, don't know how me and dh survived it.

No autism etc just a really difficult 2nd baby.

Fast-forward 5 years and the gap is lovely as they always have someone to play with and get on really well.

I formula fed mine for medical reasons, if i was ebf i would have lost my mind, as your dh will not be able to pick up night feeds on the weekend like mine did so i could get some sleep.

I have 17 months between my 2. Both are fine. DS (11 months) is a poor sleeper though and DD (2.4yrs) wakes early and we both work full time so we are both knackered!
They are lovely together though and starting to play together now the youngest is more mobile!

I have 15 months between my two. I am a midwife and have never heard such nonsense about the baby being autistic if they're too close in age!!! You need to stop reading stuff like that.
If you want another baby and the timing suits you, go ahead.

Just over 12 months between mine, I have never heard anything about this autism risk with a close age? But I would say the pregnancies did take their toll a little on my body at the time (eg i had to have a root canal whereas I had never had so much as a filling before!) Eat healthy and take your vitamins. I wouldn't have done it any other way tbh.

Thanks everyone, this is really interesting. We'll review the sleep situation and then see how we get on.

@HampshireSun there are several peer reviewed studies. It's mentioned on places like Mayoclinic, and it's not a load of nonsense.

Clearly though there are a lot of factors at play of which pregnancy intervals might only be one.

I suppose to say it causes a risk of autism is incorrect in my opening post, as of course that is a risk with every pregnancy.

I should have said that shorter pregnancy intervals of less than 18 months have been linked with increased chance of autism, as have longer intervals (I forget the number of months) but there could be all sorts of confounding variables

We have a 23 month gap between our babies. I’m not sure I would pay much attention to those studies, peer reviewed or not. There are likely to be other contributory factors, e.g. perhaps there are higher numbers of older mothers with short gaps (not true here but true for some friends), or perhaps again with longer gaps maternal age is a factor. Correlation does not equal causation.

I wouldn’t worry about waiting for the sleep though. My 5yo still doesn’t sleep reliably. My 3yo is much better!

I got pregnant with ds2 when ds1 was 9 months as we wanted a small gap. The pregnancy is was ok-ish. I was quite knackered looking after ds1 and had bad morning sickness. Birth was good, no complications. Ds2 is only 4 months so too early to say, re: autism but he is a very sociable baby, always looking to make eye contact and smiling at people so I have no concerns.

I have 22 months between mine. The early years were hell. But now they're 5 and almost 7 and we're starting to enjoy life! They both take themselves to the toilet, play together and are independent enough to enjoy playgrounds and days out without needing constant carrying/snacks/toilets etc. One of my friends has just had a baby when her oldest was 5, I couldn't imagine starting again. You need to weigh up the pros and cons for yourself. My friend says her baby gets all the alone time while her big kid is at school and she has only one up in the night but now both of mine sleep through I couldn't imagine starting again!

We have age gaps of 27 months and 24 months. Both absolutely fine. Fell pregnant while breastfeeding including night feeds both those times (periods at 15 months postpartum - had 3 periods and 1 period before conception respectively). Got pregnant again within a couple of months of night weaning the DC3 (36 month gap but only TTC after night weaning due to unrelated factors)

I would wonder whether a lot of the autism risk is actually related to parental age. Smaller gaps as older women don't tend to delay TTC between DC as much, longer gaps as, well, parents will be significantly older for DC2. Like you say impossible to seperate out but does sound an interesting study.

Kellymom has some great info about transitioning to full fertility while continuing to breastfeed.

There's a really good book called 'The second baby' by Sarah Ockwell-Smith. You can get it from Amazon and the whole first section is about planning the pregnancy gap that works best for you, with stories from mums who did each and a summary of the reaearch. Highly recommend.

I'm nearly at the end of pregnancy 2 and DC 1 is 20 months. I found this one a bit tougher physically due to things being a bit....floppy from the first but the baby seems totally fine. Difference is my DD was formula fed and sleeping through the night 11+ hours before we went for no. 2. Think I might have held off otherwise.

That's about one of my gaps. It's hard work!

I had three DC in the space of 2.5 years, definitely no autism. It wasn’t easy at all and I think I was on autopilot for the first three years of DC3’s life but came out the other side. I think it’s great having them close in age, they get along well and have similar-ish interests (I mean, I can take them all to do the same activity and they’ll all enjoy it).

I have a baby now DC3 is six and it completely threw me. I forgot what having a baby was like entirely, as stupid as that may sound.

Currently pregnant with DC 3 my youngest is 18 months havent been told anything about risks ect. I have read about the Austim link but DC are likely to have it anyways DD has it.

I met a young mum today with two babies, 6 weeks and just 1 and a toddler of 2. They did have a pair of grandparents along to help.

I read an article recently about a new study done in this area...

"The study found 12-to-18 months was the ideal length of time between giving birth and becoming pregnant again."

www.bbc.co.uk/news/health-46017789