Does your 12yo have lots of friends?

[worried84]

I'm feeling really anxious about my DS. He's 12 and in year 7. He's never really had a 'social life' outside school - apart from occasional birthday parties.
He does three clubs a week, which he enjoys, but when the weekend comes there is nothing on the agenda. I've asked repeatedly if he'd like to invite a friend over but he just says 'maybe' and never takes it further.
He likes being at home (our pets and the PS4 are his favourite things!) and I do know I am a worrier but I'm wondering how 'normal' this all is.
My dd didn't do much in year 6, I have to say, and now in year 9 she sees friends outside school regularly - but she's always seemed to make friends more easily.
I guess I don't know what I'm asking, exactly, except my vision of DS hanging out with a nice group of mates, 'Stand by Me' style, certainly isn't happening.

Worried on a similar thread a few months back (apologies I can't find it or I'd link) another MNer recommended a book by Susan Cain called "Quiet: The power of introverts in a world that can't stop talking".

I know for me my DD personality is very much introvert and being somewhere in between that and extrovert myself I think I try too much to compare her to myself at that age so I'm planning on reading this as I hope it'll help me stop doing that therefore worry a bit less.

Funny timing this thread as only last night I had that conversation with her that started off as me casually "suggesting" an after school club (dodgeball which she loves in PE) to me pleading with her to give it a go (wasn't at all interested) to me getting cross with her. I am very very aware I need to back off but every now and then the worry gets the better of me

Going to think more like Ohtheroses in future<

Me too!
Thanks for the book suggestion.

Just depends on the child. Both my ds's are very social and out with their mates constantly, they both play football, out playing football with their mates, riding around on bikes, Nando's, also playing x box constantly.

You have a dd who is different to your ds. Not uncommon.

I know Oblomov - your DSs sound like what I always imagined my DS would be like. But it's reassuring to hear that not all boys are like that, and that it's not necessarily a problem, or something that needs 'fixing'. Hope that makes sense!