How do I stop shouting?

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I have three children: 6, 4 and 2. Karrie I have begun shouting so much. I can see I’m scaring them. I don’t want them growing up with their childhood overshadowed by this. I am not the parent I hoped I’d be. I used to be so gentle with them.

I can recognise times of stress and the danger zones. My husband is at home with our youngest in the day (he works in the evening) and I finish work at 3 so we do a handover after school. I feel like I get then st the hardest time - dinner and bedtime. In addition I am also freelancing in the evening (this will end in September). It just feels like pressure pressure pressure. And I explode.

Please let me make it clear - this is almost a cry for help. I cannot keep doing this to my children. I take full responsibility- it is my fault, no excuses. But there also feels likes so much stress. Which I don’t handle well. I love my children so much. This is just not how I want them to remember their mummy. I want them to feel loved, safe and secure.

What do i do - how do I stop? How can I handle things better when they’re playing up or not listening? It’s not them. They’re not badly behaved...they’re just young kids. They’re good kids. But they have their moments which I do no handle well anymore. Is there a programme or a book to help handle stress that turns into anger/ frustration? I just want to sit and cry but I just focus on changing this. I just don’t know how.

I’m currently learning the magic 123 technique. I struggle just like you so I am trying to prevent those situations instead of reacting to them.
Example- da struggles to drag himself from the tv in order to get dressed for school. Often I ask him repeatedly until I get cross, turn the tv off and shout. Now I let him watch it whilst having breakfast, pause it and tell him to get ready and then he can continue. If he really doesn’t want to pause it I offer him one chance to get ready whilst watching but I stick to the one chance.

Read the parenting puzzle, or better yet contact your local sure start centre (before they all close 🙄) and try to attend a course. I was the same but I'm much much better now.

A combination of deep breathing and recognising when I'm a donkey on the edge, as well as learning the 'flash points' with the kids.

Ultimately (embarassingly) the main thing that works for me is thinking 'If someone was recording this, how would I justify screaming at them for this relatively minor issue?'.

I also realised that for me it was one thing after another and then I cracked, in their heads it's a singular thing that made mum explode, they genuinely don't recognise the build up and as the grown up the onus is on you to teach them how to manage their emotions appropriately.

You've made the first step by recognising you need to change, so we'll done for that. There isn't an overnight fix and I definitely slip back to my shouty ways when I'm tired and stressed but it's the exception not the rule now.

Feel free to pm if you need a boost and words of encouragement!

I have started a course called triple p positive parenting. It is very beneficial as i struggle with my youngests behaviour at times and when both children fight etc. Im the oposite i dont shout, i dont react enough according to hv. Google the triple p programme its used all over world x

I can second the parenting puzzle. It’s great.