Taking DC's on holiday under 5

[18875hulu]

Last week DH and I took our 2 year old (25 months) on holiday to a UK holiday park. We had some activities booked, lots of free time and a lodge with 2 bedrooms. I booked this because last year when DS was 16 months we took him on a cruise and it was an actual nightmare. He played up the whole time, didn't or couldn't sleep because we were all squeezed in a cabin and had the worst tantrums. So this year I booked a holiday park geared towards kids.
It was just a disaster. He didn't sleep, couldn't settle, threw the worse tantrums and wouldn't participate or enjoy in virtually anything. At this age I'm not expecting him to be an angel, but every single thing we did was a struggle. For example:

Sharing an ice cream - screamed and smacked it out of our hands on to the floor

Eating out - screamed and screamed and threw tantrums. I couldn't actually read the menu at one dinner time as he was just being a nightmare. I ordered something I didn't like and DH couldn't finish his dinner anyway as he had to take DS out. Been like this most times, even when it's just a croissant in Starbucks

Activities- screamed and tantrums through most of them, one of the staff members was giving us fabulous side eye and she works with kids all day

Swimming - fine for 10 mins then absolute meltdown, just left in the end

Refused all naps

Basically it made it difficult to actually do anything. So my question is, what is everyone else's experiences? Do you just not go on holiday until they are older? Not take them out to eat or on days out because you know it will be difficult?

If so, we wouldn't do anything ever with him apart from take him to the park.

Should I just give up and do that?!

Anyone else had similar experiences and seen a change in their DC after a couple of years?

It was that bad that I've rang the Dr and have an appointment to discuss his behaviour.

DH and I are absolutely knackered and worse than before the holiday. We have no family to come with to 'help'.
I see adverts for things he might like (props pig live etc) and think I just don't have the energy to be screamed at in public and have a stressful day anymore

My dc2 was like this - even as a baby, she seemed to hate being away form home.

BUT

I learned that she really need to be told exactly what was going to be happening in advance and have it repeated as it was happening, so she understood what was going on. In age approrote terms obviously. She used to freak if she was away from home and I relaly think it was because she didn't know why or for how long - and I hadn't had the courtesy to take the trouble to explain it properly.

With hindsight I felt terrible just imposing all these random changes on her environment without warning her.

@candycane222 yes I think that would definitely help, he still isn't talking though and I don't think we could explain proper iyswim? We did mention he was going on holiday but I just don't think he understands.

We travelled a lot when ours were tiny, and not to "child" type places. They were fine, even our dd who is autistic (diagnosed just before 3) always loved trips. Perhaps you need to introduce gradually changes in routine eg eating out, going swimming, stop overnight in a premier inn type place before you go for the full week! We did everything from camping to a cruise, with backpacking being the most adventurous (they were 2&4). But we always did it, dd1 stayed in her first hotel at 11 days old, dd2 at 4 weeks as we lived overseas

You could be describing my DC at that age. He is autistic. Finally got his diagnosis a few months ago.

We bought a touring caravan, so that although we were going on holiday, the DC knew what to expect and weren't sleeping in different beds each time.

My DS was like this when we went on holiday (in UK) at 18 months. I guessed it was because he wasn't used to sharing a room with us, and therefore not used to hearing other people moving around at night. His behaviour was then worse during the day because he was more tired than usual. He also played us off his gran the whole time and threw massive tantrums.

This year we've deliberately booked a cottage with enough bedrooms for him to have his own... However my BIL is still refusing to come with us 😂

hulu I used to assume she wouldn't understand and I realised that was my mistake. They understand a great deal more than they can say in my experience (a bit like when you are aroad and get the jist of what is being said even when you can't reply in the language).

Of course it may be the main reason, but I do think it is worth a try!

And keep on explaining, just as everything is about to happen, and while it is happening. I don't think they have very long memories at that age

@candycane222 I think because he isn't talking I assume he doesn't understand. However I ask him to pass me my drink bottle or get his coat on and he does it, so I've no idea tbh I'm also pregnant and I'm constantly saying be careful of mummies tummy etc, but he doesn't get it so I assume he doesn't get most things I think

@jamoncrumpets that's quite worrying. I've looked up signs of autism and other than not talking yet, he doesn't seem to have any. He's very social and likes being around other kids etc Although when I go to the docs I am going to ask them to check for developmental delay, because this not talking has got me so worried

Your expectations are too high. The average 25 month old won't be eating nicely in a restaurant. I understand how it seems like everybody else's child has their shit together but they don't. With a 25 month old I'd eat fast food, outdoors in places where their whinging will annoy less people and in places like Ikea that are noisy.

In my experience self catering and takeaways were the way to go. He can cry or scream in a different room while you eat and you don't have to worry about other people's reactions.

I didn't take my kids to cinema, Peppa Pig alive sorts of things until they were older. I think that they were over 4 when they went to the cinema and watched the film. 4-5 ish is when they can remember and appreciate fancier outings like Legoland.

I have a 26 month old. He is talking. But he understands everything. He can follow multi step instructions and so can pretty much everyone else in his preschool class of the same age. So assuming no other issues you are seriously underestimating him. You have also taken him to a strange place without explanation (he has no idea when he is going back to his old familiar place, his home which must be making him anxious) and he’s supposed to enjoy himself. We have holidayed a lot with under 5s. We always call it the ‘holiday house’ and reassure they will go back to their ‘London house’. We keep to the same routine. And provide plenty of explanation. If he’s not used to swimming then he won’t enjoy it. If he’s not used to restaurants he won’t enjoy it. It’s possible to do this but it requires a degree of preparation and an understanding of what it might look like from a toddler’s perspective.

And for most holidays we keep it simple. Short city breaks or to visit family. If we are on a plane we talk a lot about what is going to happen. Read books about airports. Set expectations for how to behave in planes etc. It’s all possible but as I said you have to prepare him thoroughly.

@pikapikachu yes I think my expectations are way too high, but of course I compare him to other DC Insee who seek to be having a blast. I know comparing is a cardinal sin on parenting forums but I can't help it.

@PotolBabu I think what I'm understanding now is that I really should of tried to explain a bit better what we were doing. It's my fault for underestimating him. Other than the non talking I haven't noticed anything (other than a lot of tantrums etc). We should take him swimming more and other things but I think for now the holidays can wait.

It’s not a holiday with small children. We are away with GPs at the moment and it’s the only chance we get to have a few hours of “holiday”!

The most relaxing thing we found to do just the three of us was sitting on a pebble beach throwing stones into the sea.... she was happy to sit there for ages and for once wasn’t running off or clambering across us, and we could just relax and zone out!

Oh yes - pebbles!!! My two would sort through them/throw them for hours. Had totally forgotten that

Oh and hulu don't worry about the not talking. He's obviously verbal. Perfectly normal friend of mine did not utter at all till she was 3 - I don't think it's that uncommon.

If course it's hard not to compare. I remember that feeling well. I am a mum of 3 and at 25 months only 1 would sit nicely in a Costa while I drank a coffee. They were all fine by age 4 though so hang in there.