How to feel more body confident....

[Gemi33]

Hi all,

I know this is probably not an easy question to answer but I was hoping to hear from people who are content and happy with how they look whatever their size and if you have any tips on how not to worry about that stuff so much.

I have put on a lot of weight over the last 2 years due partly to medical issues. I am going on holiday in just over 2 weeks and feel terrible about how I look. I am the biggest I have ever been and feel so self conscious. The friend I am going on holiday with is really slim and gorgeous and I just feel embarrassed about how I will look. All the holiday clothes I try on look awful (I carry most of my weight on my stomach and have big boobs so no waist and just feel like a barrel).

At the moment I am not even looking forward to the holiday which is really sad and given that I can't really lose much weight in 2 weeks I would love just to be able to no worry about it and just relax and get excited for the holiday but can't seem to - any tips welcome!

xx

Everyone else will be too busy sucking in their own stomachs to worry about yours.

Buy some cheap cotton sarongs to give you coverage without making you feel to hit for when you have to move around on the beach or by the pool, to give you a bit more confidence.

Having a bit of colour before you go is better than getting out pasty white flesh! Just use a gradual tanner or a few drops of fake tan to your usual body moisturiser. It also gives an appearance of looking slimmer.

Have lovely finger and toe nails and your hair looking great and just enjoy your holiday.

So horrible to hear how you feel about yourself & talk about yourself too! Body issues are a big insecurity in most women and with mine, i tend to just tell myself about the important things i like about myself! For example i may not like my body but i like that I am an outgoing and friendly person who makes people laugh, I like that i am a great mum to my daughter, I like that i have glasses that much my hair colour (my haors blue), I know its one thing saying this and another getting through it, but what i've told myself over the past year is who cares what people think/say about you that you don't know, it's irrelevant and it says more about other people than you!! Confidence for me is not materialistic views on how i look but how i feel about my inner self. When you start realising all the amazing things about yourself that imm sure you have you wont care what anyone thinks and being yourself is the best thing you can do! hope you have a great holiday get away to relax and have fun forget about anyone else its about you xx

Watching with interest. I've bought a book called body positive power by Megan Jane Crabbe but can't quite bring myself to read it yet !

If you are on Instagram there is a good community of body positive people out there. I would highly recommend as a starting point Megan Crabbe (called Body Posi Panda on Instagram and has a website/blog with same name) and also the account "i_weigh". I have found both really good starting points for understanding body positivity and related topics and slowly slowly is helping me to change my view of myself and my body and to recognise just how much the messages around us we have received our whole life affects our views of ourselves.

I wanted to add that if you are on social media, unfollow accounts that make you feel worse about yourself and get following positive ones. Pixie Nutrition is another positive one and also Helen Wears a Size 18. There are lots. My Instagram feed is a much happier, more positive, nourishing place than it was when every picture was a "perfect" eg unachievable body

@foreverhanging ooh please get reading and report back! I am a big fan of Megan :)

I have a squishy, post baby, wrinkly, deflated balloon of a belly. Always wore swimming costumes to cover it. But now I think fuck it and wear bikinis. I've paid good money to be on holiday, I don't judge others, so why should my body hangups stop me having a great time. Wearing confidence will see you through anything.

@Batinahat I shall start having a read!

Thank you for such lovely replies - I will definitely look up the Instagram accounts mentioned and would love to hear what you think of the book - I was tempted to buy that one myself.

I often see people a similar size to me or bigger who look absolutely lovely but I just feel like I look terrible - I'm really short so the extra weight doesn't suit me at all, I just have no shape! Thanks again, I will definitely try to get myself in a more positive mindset, I really don't want to ruin my holiday!

xx

I'm relatively slim, and I regularly exercise, but I still have a post-2 children stomach, which has never been, and never will be flat, thighs with cellulite and a flat chest. Those are my hang-ups. I've got no idea what others might think of my body, nor do I give a fig about any of my friends' or strangers' sizes, I'm too busy getting over myself!

Try to just enjoy being in the sunshine, confidence goes a very long way.

Thanks again everyone, I think I would just like not to feel so self conscious all the time, I'm sure you're right and most people aren't thinking about it but I just feel embarrassed that I look so bad xx