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Original poster

Answering DH stupid questions

41 replies

BummyKnocker · 02/05/2019 10:54

DP asks me stupid questions all the time and I've zero patience.

For instance, yesterday, he helped DD with her homework which was due in today and then he came to me and asked me should he put the homework book in her bag. When I say why are you asking me, you must know it needs to go in the bag, where else would it go and he gets tetchy and says why can't you just say yes.

It starts to rain, heavily, he asks me should he take the washing in.

It is mid winter, it is cold, he asks me if he should light a fire.

I buy him his favourite yoghurts in the weekly shop, he goes to fridge and says 'can I have one of these yoghurts' I say they are for you, why are you asking me and I say I'm not your mother. He gets angry when I respond like this but it just drives me bonkers.

If the kids aren't there sometimes I just pretend I never heard him.

I have asked him not to ask me these stupid questions all the time but he still does. Worse is that really important stuff he doesn't ask me so one day I came home and he had cut down all the foliage in the garden and ruined it. He also spends money we don't have but that is a whole other thread.

I don't know why I'm writing this really, I just want to manage this stupid behaviour without losing my rag.

OP posts:

weaselwords · 03/05/2019 19:17

The man who sits behind me at work does this. He must ask me the date 2-3 times a day. I’ve tried flatly telling him I’m not going to answer, saying “I don’t know”, telling him where to look for the answer etc. and he still does it. I think it’s a habit.

weaselwords · 03/05/2019 19:19

Strangely, my own husband never does this. He is firmly in the not consulting camp

dudsville · 03/05/2019 19:20

I'd be tempted to take the questions seriously. "Hmm, good question. What's your thinking about it?" It highlights that he had already done the thinking and that his real question is something along the lines of "did you mind if... or do you want...or I'm going to x unless you had different plans?"

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DeeCeeCherry · 03/05/2019 23:12

Perhaps he has every intention of taking washing in anyway, but feels he should check first, to be on the safe side, in case you thought it needed an extra rinse

😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂

Fr3d · 03/05/2019 23:19

My 'fav' is standing there with the bottle of Nurofen in his hand and asking what the dose is. It's written on the bottle!

Singletomingle · 03/05/2019 23:20

Has he always been like this or have things got worse over time?

Walkingdeadfangirl · 03/05/2019 23:24

You married him, of course you should answer his questions.

SciFiRules · 03/05/2019 23:31

OK this must be a gender issue because they seem like reasonable / thoughtful questions to me !
Homework - aka "I don't want to put it in the wrong bag and get dd into trouble, I'll seek opinion".
The yoghurt - "Are you or the children intending to eat this or can I"
Washing - "Are you getting the washing I or me?"
Basically I'm saying I do the same thing, this is because anything I do without checking (or permission) is wrong!

Cottonwoolmouth · 03/05/2019 23:36

love this thread! Same here. I’ve adopted ‘I don’t know’ or ‘what ever’ to most responses.

I honestly put it down to mummy issues I swear!

Cottonwoolmouth · 03/05/2019 23:41

Buy you should know what bag to put it in. I do.

If it’s specific yogurts you like - there’s a good chance they are yours - glee! Go for it!

Get the washing in man if it’s raining! No fucker wants wet washing!

rosablue · 03/05/2019 23:44

Ask him what his reasons are for for not bringing in the washing/putting the homework in the right bag/eating the yogurts are and what other options he thinks that he has in answer to that question and why... might at least to start with get an understanding of what is going on in his head that means that as a grown adult he is unable to take the initiative to do perfectly obvious tasks and yet decides to take the initiative to do things that really should be discussed!

anonforthespies43267 · 03/05/2019 23:48

I actually ignore my husband now when he asks stupid questions, either that or ‘can’t you just fucking think fit once’ if I’m in a bad mood

Singletomingle · 03/05/2019 23:48

Bit of a mixed bag I'd just put homework in the schoolbag and bring the washing in. However I've been on the wrong end of finding my favourite foods in fridge more than once. What sways the argument is that you at the end criticise him for using his initiative.

DuesToTheDirt · 03/05/2019 23:51

DH yesterday, came into the kitchen as I was cooking. Him: "Are you cooking something particular?"

He can read my mind though, which was busy formulating something along the lines of, "No, I'm just chucking random things into a pan to see what happens."

And then he gets put out because I object to his ridiculous questions!

MaisondeChats · 04/05/2019 07:43

I think the fact that you say he did the garden 'wrong' suggests that he is scared of doing the 'wrong thing'. I can see the difference, especially with something like the washing in the rain which is just common sense but in his mind he will not want to be 'wrong'.

I doubt my DH would a) realise there was washing out or b) notice it was raining!

SciFiRules · 04/05/2019 08:23

This is a funny thread but does explain a mystery of the universe!

"But you should know what bag to put it in. I do."

I know that the noise and vibration in the car is a worn track rod end, how to change the bath tap washer, how to build small walls, that the noise from the boiler is probably a circulation issue and diagnose the blocked pump ..... do you? Should you know because I do?

Dont get me wrong i am tesponsible for the house and kids as well but we all have our strengths and weaknesses, if my wife had to do some simple plumbing I'd expect some "daft" questions! I'd also tolerate the daft question knowing that it wasn't daft to the person who asked.

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