A question about twins and nursery

[mary91]

If you had twins and one of them enjoyed nursery but the other one always got upset about going, would you :
a) let the one go and keep the other one at home a bit longer?
b) try to encourage them both to go and hope they both settle into it?
c) wait a few more months then try them both again?

They don't have to go and I don't think its worth them getting so distressed about it, but one of them do thoroughly enjoy going.

B

A

B

I was working so I had no option but to do B.

Depends on what age, if it's 3+ then B if much younger then probably C.

Could you reduce the hours of sad twin but still keep him going?

A

I had twins (grown up now) and they used to take it in turns to moan and create each time. In the end, I used to drop the eldest dd at school, walk over to nursery, pretend I had to go back to school to take eldest's lunchbox in to her or something, my friend would grab the girls and take them in. Because they were going in with someone else, they didn't make any fuss, so perhaps try that?

B.

I only worry about option a as I don't know how the one twin would cope without the other as they are always together.

I only worry about option a as I don't know how the one twin would cope without the other as they are always together.

Where possible I’d treat them according to their individual needs and personalities. Obviously would not work if you needed childcare but if you’re flexible, why not let one go play and one stay with you a bit longer. I had a friend who was a twin when I was in school - her twin sister was completely different in what she liked to do, complete chalk and cheese.

How old are they?

How long does sad twin take to settle?

I'd try b for a while to see if the one twin would settle but once they'd given it a good go I'd switch to a and only go to c if that twin wasn't happy on their own. Not had twins though.

How old are they? Do they settle quickly after you leave?
DD would always cry at the start but DS would be fine. After a few months she was fine (not always, random days she'd cry). She'd settle within 5/10mins of us leaving though.
They've just moved up to the preschool room and now its DS who has started crying for some reason. He settles soon after we leave, today he stopped crying whilst waving us off. And they have a fun day, always in good spirits when we pick them up.

They are nearly 3. Sad twin takes a long time to settle and is on/off all day. Is usually happy come home time.

They have been going for 2 months now. Do you think it's ok for them to still be unsettled after that long?

It took my DC six months to settle into nursery. If you don't persevere with it now you'll just have to when it comes to school. Surely that's just prolonging it

A. It's also good for them to learn to function independently of one another.

How often are they there?
I would persevere a bit longer personally

A.

Try again with sad twin in 6 months.

They're different people with different needs. Just have to make sure the one who is at nursery gets some one on one time with you at some point.

@NuffSaidSam that's another concern, that happy twin will feel a bit left out as sad twin gets to stay at home with me.

Happy twin Might then be sad too as they will want to stay at home.

A. If the sad one is genuinely really sad and not managing I would keep him home for a while. That's what I would have done for one of my non-twin kids so it shouldn't be any different just because they're twins.

It's not all that long till the summer holidays really, you could try again after that.

Will you be able to keep the place or do you not really mind about that?

Bear in mind OP that many schools place twins in separate classes to encourage independence of each other,so occasionally separating them now could be beneficial for them.

option B- how bad is unsettled though, do you get calls to pick one up?

Well today happy twin was sad too so I think seeing sad twin so upset is having a negative effect.