Dentist fear - please calm me down!

[BearSoFair]

I feel absolutely stupid. But I've always been so scared at the dentist, I haven't been for approx 10 years. Bad experiences when I was a child then unsympathetic dentists as I got older, so I got out of the habit of going and it was easy to keep avoiding it. I regret that now!

Since the start of the year I've been getting toothache on and off and mostly dealing with it, if I'm lucky I can get a couple of weeks where it doesn't hurt at all. But yesterday and today it's been tears-in-my-eyes pain, it's almost unbearable. So I psyched myself up this morning and managed to book an emergency appointment for tomorrow. Now I feel like crying because I have to go!

I'm fairly sure I'll need at least a filling, if I peer in the mirror it looks like the offending tooth has a slightly grey patch. Are they likely to do this on the same day? What exactly does it entail? I don't have any from when I was younger.

I feel like a complete fool for not knowing and having to ask but I've avoided it for so long that I really have no idea at all what to expect.

Also reassure me with tales of kind dentists if you have any! I'm convinced they'll think I'm some ridiculous baby if I tell them how worried I am...

I am absolutely terrified of dentist! Last year had the toothache from hell and rang round different surgeries until I found one that offered gas and air. In the end I needed either a tooth out or root canal filling I choose tooth out as quickest option. Omg I was so so scared I was hyper ventilating! But dentist was lovely, put me on glass and air and didn't start any work until I was ready. I really recommend ringing round to get a surgery that can do this! I went for a check up yesterday, Ned a few filings fixed but I know if she takes it slowly and with g&a I'll be ok! Good luck

Thanks poodle. I think I feel the same, if I have the option, just take it out then I know it can't give me any more problems.

As is always the way, tooth feels fine this morning! But I know I still need to go. Just watching the clock until 2:30...

Remember while you’re on the way to the dentist that they won’t do anything unless you give permission. You are in control...it’s your mouth.

Tell yourself that you’re going because you want to. You’ll sit in the chair and open your mouth because you want to. You’ll decide when the moment comes whether you want a filling today or not. You can say, “Not today, thank you...I’m feeling a bit anxious” quite gracefully if necessary. Although you may find that once you’re in the chair you feel happier to go ahead with any treatment (if they do offer any today).

You are the boss of you no matter what - so nothing can or will happen unless you want it to.

Thanks, I keep telling myself that I'm in control, I think it's helping, for now at least. A colleague uses the same surgery and has positive things to say so she's helped to reassure me a little as well.

This was me only until march. I hadn't been been to the dentist for around 11 years because I was so ashamed. I booked an appointment after I kept getting dreams about it but even then needed a month to "prepare" and in honesty I should have done in so much sooner as I built it up in my head. The dentist was nice, made jokes and played music. There was no shaming at all.

I used to be terrified of the dentist when I was young, probably because the woman I had was referred to as 'the butcher' by my classmates. And she was. One time the numbing injection didn't work (cue 10 miuntes of torture xD). But I think looking back, it was deliberate on her part, she was a horrible woman. Anyway, that is worst case scenario and highly unlikely, plus you are an adult so if you scream they'll take you serious and stop xD

The turning point was when I was older (and had another dentist) and had to get 6 fillings renewed! And she did one side and I thought, 'feck it' and just asked her to do the other side too. I had resigned myself to it. And you know what, it finally clicked - the fear before hand is the worst part.

Now at 30 I have a lovely dentist. I always ask that if I get an injection, it has to go up and into the gum, little by little. That way it doesn't hurt much. And then I focus on trying to stay calm and still.

I still get nervous going but I think telling yourself that provided you have a sane dentist, the nerviousness before is the worst part. I mean, a filling takes no time at all and with the injection going up into the gum, it isn't a big deal.

I once chanced having a tooth drilled (she thought there was no nerve close to it apparently so I asked to chance it) without it entirely and this time it didn't hurt. She said even she wouldn't have been brave enough to do that xD This is coming from me, someone who once held onto the house door handle and had to be dragged into the car to go to the dentist xD so you can overcome your fear if I can.

What helps sometimes is thinking of that woman that has to do the suctioning. If you choke or react badly, it makes her look like she isn't doing her job right and I don't want my cowardice to reflect badly on her.

So to summerise - get a nice person as a dentist, ask for injection to be slow and up into gum (and if you think you can risk not taking it, do so, if that is it is the injection that scares you). Try to stay calm and not get worked up before the appointment because the fear is actually the worst part. And think of the poor girl (usually) who has to suction mounths for a living and focus on making her job as easy as possible.

Thank you both. Yes I think beforehand is definitely going to turn out to be the worst part! Yesterday I was thinking I didn't want to tell them how nervous/scared I am because I'd feel stupid, but today I've decided it's better to warn them so they can talk me through everything rather than not say anything and end up freaking out!

3 hours to go...

This was also me, until a couple of weeks ago. Hadn't been for nearly 10 years, and became more ashamed yet mortified at the way my teeth look (smoking, red wine, and tea have not helped my cause).

I cracked a molar about 5 years ago but because I had no pain, and it's not visible to everyone, I still didn't go. Most of the rest of it came away eventually, and the turning point was when DD commented on the colour of my teeth - children's honesty, eh!

My new dentist has been amazing. She asked what I was specifically scared of - I've been terrified that my bottom front teeth will crack during scale and polish as I have a horizontal crack on one. She reassured me that cracks are normal, and that my teeth won't disintegrate!

I had the molar removed this week as it couldn't be saved, and there was underlying infection. The anaesthetic injections, whilst not a way I would choose to pass my time, were ok, and the tooth came out easily. It's still tender but is healing well.

Next stop is the hygienist, I'll probably need a couple of visits, but I am so excited to be able to smile properly again.

I've only ever heard positive stories about dentists in the last few years, and am so happy to have one myself.

You will be so happy you went, I hope it goes well

cupids that's exactly the kind of thing I needed to hear, thank you I'm glad it's been a positive thing for you, hoping I can say the same later today! With your infection, did they give you antibiotics to clear it up before removing the tooth?

You're so welcome, it really seems to be such a taboo subject so anything that helps make it less so can only be a good thing.

No antibiotics, the dentist discovered a very small patch of infection in the bone after looking at the x-ray but was confident that removing the tooth would take care of it. Touch wood, no pain, only tenderness.

The worst bit for me was dealing with a numb half-face afterwards! It wore off after about 4 hours but definitely felt really strange, and my face looked a little bit wonky. It was nice getting the feeling back!

An hour to go, the nerves are starting to really kick in but I'm calmer than I thought I'd be. Just keep telling myself that I'm in control, I can always ask for a moment, and in the end it'll be worth it to not have the pain from yesterday again.

Will post afterwards and hopefully have a positive experience of my own to share!

Wishing you luck Bear, and hope to read a positive story!

As an aside, am having to be careful when eating, and rinse mouth out after each meal...well I have just discovered that aubergine seeds get stuck in your teeth! Bleurgh!

I used to have a MASSIVE dental phobia and didn’t go for around 4 years. Then I had to go at the end of last year as had an abscess. I was so nervous but I was better once I got there. I explained I was nervous, he told me about raising my hand if I needed a brief stop. Gave me antibiotics and had to go back the week after for an extraction, which again was loads better than expected. I’ve since been to the hygienist and actually been this morning for a filling, and both times I was nervous but I did it and didn’t stop or get panicky or anything.

I take headphones and listen to music on my phone - it’s a great distraction and I shut my eyes and try to zone out. Good luck! You got this!

Well, I did it! Warned the dentist right away that I was very nervous and she was lovely, talked me through every step before doing anything. I do have an abcess, so one week of antibiotics then back the following week for a check up, then she thinks a root canal is most likely. Booked my next appointment while I was there so no chance to talk myself out of it. I've started, I need to get it done, so I know I'm going to stick it out. I may well be back in a few weeks asking for you lovely posters again, because you really did help me today. Thank you!

Yay! Well done! I bet you feel really relieved and proud now! Next time will be easier, so try not to worry about it as much.

Brilliant, well doneBear!

The first hurdle is done, it's such a relief isn't it?
Here's to lovely dentists, and to conquering fear

Well done!
Ich antibiotics, mine put me on amoxycillan for a week once. No major side effects but it leaves such a horrible taste in your mouth!