Share the stupid things you have done that have made a huge mess.

[Bubblysqueak]

After spending ages clearing up an entire can of Pepsi Max, which has just spectacularly exploded, spinning 360 degrees around the room squirting pepsi as it span, as newly opened, full can slipped out of my hand, I would love to hear the stupid things you've done that made a huge mess.

The worst thing is , it was the last can left and I was really looking forward to it!

A friend brought round a bottle of wine with a cork. I didn’t have a corkscrew, but managed to twist the cork out cleanly with a small knife and was pleased with myself.

Sometime later, I attempted the same manoeuvre again with a bottle of red wine. Unfortunately, I was already half-cut. I accidentally forced the cork into the bottle with such force that red wine splattered all over the landlord’s cream kitchen walls and ceiling. I had to gradually scrub it off with bleach over the next two weeks. I couldn’t do much at a time, because the tiny, tiny repetitive movements hurt my wrist. But I was lucky it wasn’t my blood all over the walls, frankly.

Pleased to see others have made the mistake of allowing young children to make snowstorms from polystyrene packaging.

If anyone else is considering it - my recommendation is don't.

DC had great fun though.

I put hot soup in a blender without putting the lid on.
That was painful, as well as messy.

I made marshmallows once.

Had no idea how far icing sugar spreads until then.

In my youth 23 I wanted to quickly cook an egg for tea. I microwaved it and as I removed it from the microwave the yolk exploded all over the kitchen; up the walls, on the ceiling and all over the floor. I missed a bit on the ceiling and had to sand it off and repaint the ceiling.

I swatted a wasp with a notebook - the notebook had a gel pen clipped to it, and it flew apart and sprayed black ink all over the front room - up two walls, across the door, on the couch, on the floor and all over the rug.

I ended up having to mop everything with bleach.

Or there was the time I was trying to make layered jelly, for ds1’s birthday party - the first layer wasn’t setting, so I put it on the top shelf of the freezer (which was the top of the fridge freezer combo). Stupidly, I didn’t clear the shelf - I just balanced the bowl on the ice blocks that were in there. The next time I opened the fridge, the bowl of half set jelly came out faster than a bob sled on the Cresta Run, hit the floor, and fountained up the wall. The stains were still there when we moved out.

@dinosaurtwothreeroar My 2 year old loves that! I would recommend not doing the indoor sandpit idea if that's the result of rice though. At least you can see the rice to clean up and you don't get grit in your socks when walking around.

When I was 15, my mum went out so I called my boyfriend who zoomed round as fast as his 125cc trial bike could carry him.
Before this, I’d put one of those Heinz jam sponge things in tins on the metal electric hob in a saucepan of simmering water.
A good while into a heavy snogging session in my bedroom, there was a sound like a bomb going off. We’d no idea what the fuck it was and went downstairs. On opening the kitchen door, the cat shot out and we were faced with Armageddon. The pan had boiled dry and the tin had exploded embedding shrapnel in the ceiling and walls and propelling molten jam sponge everywhere. It had exploded with such force that the raised bit of the massive, old fashioned oven behind the hob was dented, and the concentric metal ring the pan had sat on was distorted and uncurled like a massive wonky spring.
I was in shock and physically shaking at the thought that I could have killed the cat, or anyone who had been in the room at the moment it went off. The boyfriend was very practical, thank god, and found a step ladder and did an amazing job of clearing up.
By the time mum got back, boyfriend, motorbike and molten jam sponge had disappeared but I had to confess to forgetting about the sponge tin as nothing was going to sort the dent and wonky ring.
My mum must be psychic because she kept returning to “Whatever were you doing to forget it for that long?” - despite me being scatterbrained and entirely capable of doing that with no boyfriend in the picture.
I was an unbeliever then as now, but in the moment it did feel like an Old Testament style judgement on sin. They kept that oven for years, I was so glad when they finally bought a new one.

Toddler. Bowl of rice. Sure there's still rice under the fridge 6 years on...

dd1(the 2yrs) tipped a box of ready brek all over my newly washed and still damp kitchen floor, instant concrete!

dh managed to burst a 2l bottle of coke in my car, there were sticky patches every where

I cut the top off a gallon jug of pigs blood. It was coagulated already so couldnt pour it out. I promptly turned it upside down over a bowl and of course the huge coagulated lump landed with a massive splat in the bowl and covered my kitchen and myself in blood splatter. It looked like a murder scene.
I finished cleaning the whole massive mess up then decided the best way to get my coagulated blood back to liquid was a stick blender. Not my finest moment. Kitchen looked worse than it had before.
Im going to be a bit more careful next time

Old trout - you can’t share that story and not tell us what you were doing with a gallon of pig’s blood. It’s not ringing any bells re Mary Berry et al.

As a student nurse I was making the breakfast for the patients who woke early before the catering staff arrived. I left 6 bowls of readybrek flakes out whilst I heated the milk. Left the kitchen for a moment (with the fan on and window open! ) only to return to what can only be described as a total white out. Panicking, I tried desperately to clean it up with a wet cloth - turning the flakes into porridge in the process and covering every - single - surface with ready Brek. I was almost an hour late off shift clearing that mess up.

One night we had some friends over and were having a few drinks outside.
I was a little tipsy and decided I wanted a cheeky cigarette, so went inside and rummaged for the hidden packet. I couldn’t find any matches or a lighter. For so,e utterly twattish reason I decided to use a kids birthday candle to light my cig with the burning gas hob ring. Lit the fog out the candle down and walked off.
Yes I hadn’t blowed the candle out. By the time I walked through the kitchen, conservatory and into the garden my friends could see flames shooting up to the ceiling. I had managed to set fire to over gloves, a tea towel,and also weld the candle into a plastic chopping board and scorch the wooden work surface underneath.

I’ve also absent mindedly
-poured large quantities of paint down a sink

• put loads of washing out then mowed the lawn (several times)
• drilled through wires incurring enormous electrics, refit fees and nearly killing myself

-squirted way too much expanding foam into a gap in the garage wall and panicked. Tried to wipe it up stuck my hands together and foam carried on filling so much and set so quickly we could t close the garage door

• gone to the loo and several times used the paper but flushed the roll down the u bend.
• forgotten to put nappies children, including one of the:when they had a d and v bug
• Cooked pizzas with the polystyrene base still on

I think the worst was putting my face to a pan in which I was toasting coconut. Why I will never know. Somewhere I managed to iron my cheek with the pan edge. The pain was indescribable.

These are just off the top of my head. I’m very stupid.

So stupid it appears I cannot type or use correct grammar, spelling etc.m

DD was about 3 playing in her bedroom while I was pottering nearby, she called out ‘mummy wouldn’t it be so cool if I had a glittery carpet?’
I agreed and when I went to check on her five minutes later I found she’d emptied one of those enormous pots of glitter onto her carpet and was busily spreading out. I’d pretty much given her permission to do it too

Jaretsgirlfren that must have been a nightmare to clean, especially as you had given her permission, so I bet she wasn't happy that you had to tidy it up!
Did it spread to the rest of the house?

Bubbly it took forever to clean! She is seven now and often reminds me of the glittery carpet incident

One of those plastic magic wands with glitter inside, you know the clear ones that you turn upside down and the water/glitter moves. Well the end came off mid spin and the water and glitter went absolutely everywhere. Years later and there is still glitter that won't budge off furniture.

I made DS a plate of spaghetti bolognaise when he was little. I put it on his little table and tried to carry the table into another room (what could go wrong?). Predictably the plate slid off but instead of just letting it fall I tried to catch it with my foot I drop-kicked the full plate down the hallway. Floors, walls, ceiling all spattered in bolognaise. Could’ve cried.

Not a huge mess, but it really was a "laugh or cry moment".
Our hob was broken with only one working ring and all I had in was a jar of korma sauce. I put the rice on the job and decided to heat through precooked prawns and a jar of sauce in the oven, in a glass dish with a lid.
I put everything in the dish and promptly dropped the glass lid on it, chipping glass shards into the food. As I tried to dispose of the mess, the bin bag split so I had to clean up the floor. Poor DH came home to me laughing hysterically on the kitchen floor, and a dinner of rice and soy sauce.

Messing about with dd and pushed her backwards onto the giant fucking huge bean bag, which exploded.
Took hours to clean up, as the bastard things bounce away from the Hoover.
This was about 4 years ago, and there are still polystyrene balls in the living room.

If you were wondering what the worst possible thing you can coat the whole of the inside of the fridge with is - contents and all - it's Thai fish sauce. The smell!

The day I suggested that the kids use the contents of a big bag of shredded paper to play with their toy tractors. It was spread across the entire front room, embedded in the carpet, and had to be picked up, on piece at a time. Dp asked "well, what did you expect?"

Dropped a urine filled nappy, you know the overnight one which is always full to the brim. Those bastard little gel balls go everywhere, are a bastard to clear up & the smell lingers.