Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Flexible and made to last.

Meet the Other Phone.
Flexible and made to last.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
Chat

Join the discussion and chat with other Mumsnetters about everyday life, relationships and parenting.

Original poster

Help with wedding nerves

16 replies

Weddinghelp · 29/04/2019 22:52

I just checked the countdown to my wedding and it's just hit me how close it is. 16 weeks away.

I'm shitting myself.

I'm so excited to be married, hes the man of my dreams, weve been together a really long time, and I'm surrounded by people I love.

But the thought of walking down the aisle and having so many people turn round and look at me is filling me with anxiety.

I know it's silly as everyone that will be there are the people that me and my partner love, but I'm not really a centre of attention kind of person.

Any words of advice? Any ideas to settle my nerves?

I think a bit part of this is stemming from the fact that my dress doesn't fit me yet, its 2 inches too small round the waist and in a move of confidence I've gone for a sleeveless dress which I'm now panicking about as I havent had my arms out in front of people for years.

What if I get the photos back and I look awful?

OP posts:
SargeantAngua · 30/04/2019 16:41

Mine is 8 weeks on Saturday, so I'm not really sure I can help as the nerves are starting to set in for me too! We ordered the cake yesterday, for DP to pick up the morning of the wedding, and suddenly at 4 am it seemed very real and very close!

Like you, the being married bit is absolutely fine, looking forward to it though little will really change, but the whole centre of attention, plus the fact I'm a control freak but won't really have much control over the day once it gets going, has really started to scare me.

I hope someone has answers for us both, but maybe you'll feel better knowing you're not alone Smile !

YodasMum · 30/04/2019 16:52

Can’t really help with the centre of attention thing.
But, the thing to focus on is you and your soon-to-be-husband enjoying your day. If people have complaints on the day, they keep it to themselves.
My brother had the big wedding, totally not my thing and there were some bits (like the catering) which were not good. But I would never say anything to him, and I was just happy to see him happy. Which everyone at your weddings should be too.
For what its worth I couldn’t stand the big wedding, centre of attention thing for myself. We had a very quiet, small wedding with tea afterwards. I loved it, but still some people complained. Fuck ‘em. You have the wedding you want.

(Ps - GNU Sgt)

EdtheBear · 30/04/2019 17:04

For what it's worth I felt very similar to yourself. Wanted to be married. Wanted family, Aunties Uncles and cousins to see us on our day.

But was so nervous about the wedding. I had a need towards the end to reduce the formal bits, big wedding but a little less formal.

I opted to have a round top table to make the meal less formal (less people looking at me). Not to MILs amusement.

I managed to squeeze in my cousins kids. Again helped to make it less formal to have some extra kids there other than just flower girl and Paige boy.

We gave the tables some daft names.

Didn't do a line up with the top table and handshakes etc before the meal, just the 2 of us stood together to say hello to everyone.

Interested in this thread?

Then you might like threads about this subject:

Weddings
PerspicaciaTick · 30/04/2019 17:08

Once you've walked up the aisle you will have your back to everyone and only be able to see DP and the celebrant. These are the only people who matter.

LL83 · 30/04/2019 17:12

Everyone there is there for you and dh and wishing you well the see the best in everything.

All the brides and really the whole wedding party at every wedding I have been to looked amazing. In reality they can all have been amazing but they looked amazing to me because its loved ones on a special day.

Bluetrews25 · 30/04/2019 18:37

All of you brides will look beautiful as you will have that wonderful, happy bridal glow. Everyone watching you will be misty eyed and delighted for you, and be so very happy to be witnessing and sharing such an important day with you.
Please don't be stressed! Everyone is on your side and rooting for you.
Hope you all have a wonderful time.

Original poster
Weddinghelp · 30/04/2019 23:28

Thank you so much for all your kind posts!

It does help to know that it's not just me that's nervous, and for others to confirm that when they've been guests they just notice the happiness of the bride!

Wedding is kind of formal but not too much? And we do have some kids there too.

I suppose it doesn't help that I've only been to 1 wedding reception as an adult and that was a different faith than I'm really familiar with so was more distracted by absorbing everything really!

OP posts:
Wolfiefan · 30/04/2019 23:34

I do hope you’re not my SIL to be! So sad to think a bride to be is worrying pre wedding. Sad If you’re inviting those who love and care for you then all they want is to see you happy and enjoying the day. To celebrate love and wish you well in your life together. Flowers

YouBoggleMyMind · 30/04/2019 23:47

I was nervous before too, especially the night before, but on the day I was so excited and happy. I defo forgot about feeling nervous and enjoyed getting ready and enjoy a glass or 2 of champagne 🥂 good luck! I'd getting married again in a heart beat, it was the best day.

Original poster
Weddinghelp · 30/04/2019 23:48

Hi @wolfiefan - nope, I won't be gaining a SIL when I get married which I think is quite sad actually as i would love that.

Thank you for your kind comment though I appreciate it!

OP posts:
Wolfiefan · 30/04/2019 23:51

Phew. Hoping she’s feeling calm and not dreading seeing us all. We just want to see them happy. That’s all. Enjoy your day OP.

churchthecat · 30/04/2019 23:57

I'm not walking down the aisle at all. We're all bundling in at the same time. I'm arriving with DP and about 8 others and we're all having champagne first.

Wolfiefan · 01/05/2019 09:10

Champagne sounds great!! Sounds fab. I didn’t do the aisle thing either. In fact DH and I buggered off abroad and there was only the two of us. Wink

BossAssBitch · 01/05/2019 09:29

I got married last year, it was amazing, the best day of our lives and I would love to do it all over again. When you walk down the aisle just focus on your groom if you are feeling nervous. I was on such a high that I don't recall seeing anyone's faces as I walked down the aisle, just my DH's. The day goes by so quickly, try and be in the moment and soak up every minute, there really are no need to for nerves, you will be surrounded by family and friends, people who love you.

Have an incredible day.

PerspicaciaTick · 01/05/2019 09:44

Champagne is lovely, but go slowly (especially if you haven't eaten). You have to be able to convince the celebrant you are sober enough to enter into a serious and binding contract.

Whatistheworldcominto · 01/05/2019 09:59

I've never been married and it don't look likely now 😁 however I've probably witnessed more weddings than most people because I work at a wedding venue! I'm part of the team who looks after the bridal party from start to finish.
I honestly don't think I've met a bride (or groom for that matter) that wasn't nervous to some degree! I think it's normal and possibly adds a bit to your day as you're excited/nervous but in a good way!
If you've got people helping with planning/the whole day then utilise them. Especially if it's at a venue. Don't do anything you don't have to! Talk to people, I've spent a few early mornings having a coffee with a nervous and excited bride - I love it! And chatting to someone seems to help them.
And yes, all people do notice is a beautiful and glowing bride - even me and the others I work with - and that's as strangers. Family and friends will obviously be more emotional.
Good luck and a long, happy and healthy marriage!

New posts on this thread. Refresh page
Swipe left for the next trending thread