What's wrong with me

[Makemedoit]

Have been in bed for two days. Not ill just don't want to get up and deal with everything there is to do. Live alone. Phoned in sick to work.
Just spent two days laying here with tv on dozing on and off.
No shower. Not much food or drink.
Don't know what's wrong with me. Just don't want to face anything. Not tearful.
Don't know what to do or how to shake myself

Melancholia

Posted too soon.

Do you recognise any of this

www.healthline.com/health/depression/melancholic-depression

You poor thing - That's exactly what I do and how I feel during bouts of depression - have you ever spoken to your GP about these feelings?

Sometimes counselling or anti depressants or a combination of both can lift you just enough to feel able to make some little changes that will help you feel better again - but I know it's super hard making that first step and even leaving the house to go to the doctor :(

I am on citalopram and have seen a counsellor but that was all to do with extreme anxiety. This feels different. As though I just want to.opt out of life. I don't mean suicide or dying. I don't have those thoughts.

I just want to get my mojo back

I totally get you OP - I tried to explain to my doctor that I don't wish to harm myself and I'm not suicidal but that often think if I didn't wake up in the morning it would be a relief and I'm not scared of not being around anymore.

It's hard to explain but I understand how you feel. I wish there was a magic wand :(

I don't know how to make myself do something.

It sounds like depression to me, although I have no medical training.

I don't know how to make myself get up and get cleaned and go to work tomorrow

Depression. I totally recognize what you're describing, For me it was almost like I was inside a bubble, slightly apart from the real world. Just very nothing, no particular feelings about anything but a complete inability to even make the decision to move from bed to shower!

I know you say the citalopram was prescribed because of the anxiety but that's also a symptom of depression. Maybe it's leveled out the anxiety but you may need the dosage adjusted.

It does take time to get the dose correct so please contact your doctor and describe how you're currently feeling. Believe me, he or she will know what you're describing as they've seen and treated it a hundred times before .

Yes will make gp appointment tomorrow.

@Makemedoit

Brilliant, please do try to make an appointment and if they fob you off with an appointment in a few weeks time then try to find the courage to say you are really struggling with your mental health / wellbeing and need to see someone sooner.

If it helps then come back and tell us when you've called the GP and we can all tell you how proud of you we are - it's a big thing to do and it honestly is the first step in changing your life and LIVING not just surviving.

Thinking of you, keep us posted

@ImNotHappyaboutitPauline

Depression. I totally recognize what you're describing, For me it was almost like I was inside a bubble, slightly apart from the real world. Just very nothing, no particular feelings about anything but a complete inability to even make the decision to move from bed to shower!

Absolutely how I feel when I'm depressed - disconnected and numb except for a heavy heart and feeling of dread but about nothing I can identify.

OP honestly lots of us have been there and it's the absolute worst, I wish someone had told me that it can get better if you ask for help, so I'm telling you instead