The Affair

[Inapickle77]

other half’s female friend sent him sexy picture of herself in underwear when he was away with army as a ‘pick me up’ I found these last year and questioned him on it and he promised me nothing physical ever happened. Confronted her and she said the same. So we stayed together.

Just found out they have been sleeping together for at least four years! Four! At least! Probably our entire relationship.

When she thought they had been found out she sent him messages to say that if the shit hits the fan she didn’t know we were back together. Deceitful cow

My question is should I tell her husband?

I didn’t last time, but the fact she knew we were together and tried to save herself makes me so angry.

other half and I due to start IVF next month so this has basically destroyed me.

I’m not a nasty person and this is not a revenge thing.
I don’t know if the husband deserves to know or if ignorance is bliss and I should leave it alone

Yes yes yes definitely tell her husband. Send him any evidence you have also. It's about his safety too. I'm sure he would want to get tested for STDs etc

Difficult one. What if he loves her so much he likes himself or alternatively he lost it and killed her?

I’m not sure I would tell him if he was a complete stranger but if I knew him and had an idea of how he’s react I would tell him.

Yep. No brainer for me.
You’ll get a lot of people telling you - be the better person etc, it’s your partner you need to focus on- and it is! But you can focus on his responsibility and still inform her partner as a secondary.

Tell him.

I told my ex's OW's husband and it gave me a huge sense of relief. Selfish maybe. They're still together but at least he knows.

One mistake is I deleted the text convo I had with her where she admitted it (it made me sick to see it in my inbox) so didn't have hard proof for him. She talked her way out of it.

A PP mentioned not to in case he hurt himself or something.... please, THAT is not your responsibility

I think he has the right to know as presumably he's been played for a fool all this time too.
Good luck OP what a bloody awful thing for you to go through

Yes tell him. No brainer at all.

Yes 100% tell her husband.
She's been betraying him for FOUR YEARS.

Absolutely disgusting, both of them.
This is truly unforgivable. You poor thing. Really sorry for you & hope you find the strength you need to do whatever you have to do.