I’m at the end of my tether . I’ve had anxiety since childhood , now nearing 30, but it’s incredibly bad just now . Some argument over whether it’s a form of autism , OCD or a personality disorder of some sort . Have gone through a lot of childhood trauma too so that could be playing a role ... I’m not sleeping well , eating , leaving the house . Even using the toilet or having a shower frightens me . I’m almost constantly in a state of blind panic . I genuinely don’t know what to do . I’ve had anti depressants before but new GP has decided this is pointless so no medication whatsoever .. had therapy ... but the benefits didn’t last long . Supposedly starting ‘life coaching’ soon .
I’m now getting ‘attacks’ where I feel I can’t breathe without gasping , my arms hurt and I feel tense and shaky all over . Shaking as if I have a fever but I don’t..
NHS 24 just say try mindfulness or headspace but how can you do that , when you’ve repetitive thoughts that you’re in imminent serious danger ? I feel as if I ignored those thoughts that’s a danger . I think on some level I genuinely believe what I’m telling myself .
My mind has me convinced that I’ve got heart failure - I’m scared to even laugh as it makes me feel dizzy and then I panic again . Everything that I like about life , I can’t enjoy anymore and I’m so unhappy and frustrated - just want to be happy again .
I know I sound crazy but just needing an ear to listen ... or to now I’m not entirely alone .