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Original poster

Today I am old, not sure how I feel

49 replies

NorthEndGal · 28/04/2019 12:29

Mentally, I crossed a huge milestone, and it's shook me.
My youngest turned 20 today.
I no longer have babies, little ones, kids, teens ...just grown ups. It makes me feel so much older than I expected.
This is harder than turning 40.
Wtf?!
I was not expecting this.
Any one else feel aged by stuff like this, more than your actual birthday? Or is it just me being an idiot? Or both...

OP posts:

Original poster

NorthEndGal · 28/04/2019 14:07

I think the thing is the dichotomy of it all.
I feel young, I am active, I still go on adventures all the time.
It's like if there was nothing to mark the time, I'd never guess I was this old, by how I feel?

OP posts:

NaBiAgOl · 28/04/2019 17:16

sadly i think it is because young people 'other' you

Dowser · 28/04/2019 17:41

My daughter is 42 tomorrow
You’ll be fine

Dowser · 28/04/2019 17:45

I was 45 when my daughter was 20 and
51 when I became a grandma for the first time.

GilmoreMe · 28/04/2019 17:51

Getting older is weird.
I'm in a strange limbo land when it comes to my age. My oldest child is about to turn 21, my youngest is about to to turn 5. I'm in my late 30's, my husband is in his 50's.
People always think I'm younger than I am but I think it's because they don't look properly. They assume my eldest and I are sisters and that my husband is my father! I dress quite young but definitely look my age if you look closely.
I don't feel old enough or mentally equipped to have a grown up child and I sometimes feel really down with the enormity of it.

Asta19 · 28/04/2019 18:27

I’m 50 this year and my DS will be 30 this year. So he is already joining me in the “god I’m old” complaints! Of course every time he moans I say “wait till you’re 50” then my mother says “wait till you’re 70”. So it’s all relative I guess! I feel 50 but I think a large part of that is the bloody menopause! I’m really suffering with it. I’m hoping to get my life back once it’s finally over.

NabiAgOl · 07/05/2019 19:40

@northendgal
I missed your post about the women who run with wolves! I have that on my shelf actually, I got a second hand copy somewhere, I must read it! thanks, I didn't know it was about that.

Proseccoagain · 07/05/2019 22:23

My son turned 40 this year.....

Deadringer · 07/05/2019 22:57

My youngest is turning 21 this month, I am feeling my age but the worst of it is, I still haven't managed to lose the baby weight!

Deadringer · 07/05/2019 22:58

Pity my poor mum, her eldest dd is now 72!

runoutofnamechanges · 07/05/2019 23:29

Oh god... yes... it felt so strange when my baby turned 18 and I no longer had any "children", only adults. And now he's 20, I don't even have a teenager

On the other hand, I rather enjoy being taken out for cocktails on Mother's Day.

Catchingbentcoppers · 08/05/2019 07:53

I'm starting to feel this and my eldest is only 15! I think it's because he's changing so much. We have much more adult conversations and he's involved in our general chat around the house more iykwim. I'm 52 and have friends with 7 year olds and friends with 30 year olds so I'm somewhere in between. It's odd though.

Original poster

NorthEndGal · 08/05/2019 11:06

It's reassuring to see I'm not the only one!

Good point about the advantages of them getting older, I was able to send DS to grab a bottle of wine to go with supper, and didn't have to stop what I was working on.
Score!

OP posts:

DustyMaiden · 08/05/2019 11:12

I bought a new bed, been meaning to for about a decade. Worked out I had the last one 25 years. I’m 57.

As I put the bed up I wondered will this be the bed that I die in.

Isadora2007 · 08/05/2019 11:19

It’s a life stage thing rather than an old thing I reckon.
Though I am very much appreciative of ageing as many years ago I didn’t think I would be fortunate enough to live to see my child start school or grow up. That child is now a parent herself and I am blessed to be alive still so cannot regret feeling old.

IhavetoD0something · 08/05/2019 17:02

@dustymaiden. Wow, that's a thought! you gorra laff as cilla would have said.

IhavetoD0something · 08/05/2019 17:04

@northendgal oh that is my next goal!! Dc1 is 16. I would almost like to have a glass of wine with her but i wont upsell it to her for my sake! But it will be nice, when she is 18

Springisallaround · 08/05/2019 17:08

I'm kind of interested in researching the archetype of the 'crone' which is not as negative as it sounds. I want to look in to this archetype of peace wisdom fulfilment. I feel that's where I want to go (if I let myself embrace it and not fight it denying my age to try and win others' approval

I'm pretty sure Germaine Greer wrote a book about embracing your inner crone.

Catchingbentcoppers · 09/05/2019 06:32

I was talking about getting old to a couple of friends the other day and they both had such different feelings on it. One is so stressed about being 50 it's making her miserable, the other is absolutely embracing it and feels like now she can do the things that she wants because she has more time to herself.

hazeyjane · 09/05/2019 06:35

If it makes you feel any better I had my 1st at 37 and 3rd at 41....I'm 50 this year, and feel fucking ancient.

Pinkprincess1978 · 09/05/2019 07:07

My baby just turned 10 so no single figures so I get it. I'm not yet feeling old though (I'm 40) I still believe it's a privilege not everyone gets to get older so enjoy it and appreciate it.

That said, my in laws are in early to mid 70's and I do wonder how they feel as elope same age or even younger pass.

TapasForTwo · 09/05/2019 07:10

Age is a funny old thing. I went to see a band last night. The first time I saw them was 43 years ago!

I made a bit of a fool of myself as I was having a bit of banter with a guy selling books at the front. I asked if he was the guy on the front cover of the book, and he replied "yes, I'm the base player "

I had DD at 41 (infertility issues), and most of my old classmates are attending their children's weddings or are grandparents. DD is just about to start university.

EggysMom · 09/05/2019 07:11

I think my Mum 'felt old' when her eldest turned 50 I still don't think of her as old (mid-70s) as we only lost her mum, my nan, a couple of years ago. I'm certainly not old. I'm older than the OP but not old.

IhavetoD0something · 09/05/2019 07:23

My mum and her sisters can be a bit mean about their children ageing. Like they have gone through caring about it and do value life which is good of course! But looking at my cousins my mum and my aunt said "i cant believe our children are all 8n their forties' and my aunt apparently said "and dont they look it". My m7m in her wisdom :-/ told me that. Kind of depressing to know that even my parents view my cousins and me as old!

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