I'm almost 28 and part of me would love to have children, the other part of my really doesn't want to.
There's a few reasons (some of which I feel will change over time), but one of the main ones that I can't see changing: I'm terrified my child will be a little sh*t.
I know some will say that all depends on how I raise them. However I clearly remember from childhood some kids who were horrible, but had lovely siblings. Some kids who were lovely, but had horrible siblings.
I also remember kids who were really mean but had seemingly lovely parents.
I had a tough time fora couple of years in primary school at the hands of 3 girls who were just down right mean. Very "princessy" types who made fun of me for being a tomboy, and for not caring that my hair looked like crap everyday. But every morning I was told I had "rats hair" that I 'dressed like a boy" Just that kinda crap.
Then later on when I changed schools for 6th form I wouldn't say I was bullied but definitely had a hard time at the hands of the "mean girls" of the year group. Stuff like "hey we're meeting at cafe _ at 11am". I'd get there to find no one was there to then hear "oh sorry! I thought whoever had messaged you to say we could no longer make it her phone must have been playing up". just emotional nastiness like that.
Any time I see how lovely a child appears to be, I just think "but how nice are they to their peers"?
The thought of having a mean kid really really makes me not want them. I feel like many parents are well aware they have mean/bully children but are either heavily in denial, turn a blind eye, or are mean people themselves so don't care.
How can you ever be sure that your kids are genuinely nice?
If they aren't, is it all your fault (as I say, examples are of siblings where one is lovely the other is horrible.)
Can you truly still love your child knowing they're a bully?