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Original poster

Prom season...money tight?

40 replies

Dowser · 27/04/2019 08:44

Just wondered how everyone else is coping?
While my grandson is wrestling with his gcse’s he suddenly dropped the Pbomb.

My own children didnt have proms , so this is the first generation in the family to go through it.

His mum and dad are struggling a bit. You know the situation. New job, min wage., so less money, unexpected car bill, literally nothing in the kitty for extras and heresthe young man needing a suit, shirt, tie, shoes, waistcoat, ticket for the event...and now the bombshell..a seat in the limo that’s only going one way for £60

He’s at a state school but he’s in with a crowd who have more well to do parents.

Although it’s nice to mark the end of their time st school I really feel it’s an added pressure parents could do without.
( I know if he was a girl there’d be make up, tan, nails and hair)

I mean £600 for a limo for a distance of 30 miles? Then it’s find your own way home lads.

I can see nana is going to have to help out but I think it’s all wrong.

Plus there’s talk of alcohol as well.
I think the school has a responsibility to keep it in house.

What do other mothers think?

OP posts:

GreenTulips · 27/04/2019 08:46

There are FB sites to borrow dresses or given free
Makeup artist and hair dressers take girls who can’t afford it
The boys can at least rewear the suits

They don’t have to arrive in style - nobody really cares

Foslady · 27/04/2019 08:59

Second hand? Do they live near any big towns? And will his school shoes polish up well?
Seems odd that parents hadn’t thought about it before - we’ve been planning bits and pieces for over a year now (dd wanted a 50’s tea length and on a trip to London found ‘the one’ last February, shoes and bag that were a perfect match a few months later) so have spread the cost and tracked down a few bargains and pulled in s favour or two.
I’m an old gimmer - we didn’t even have a School disco when I left, you were expected to do your exams and bugger off into either work full time it s holiday job prior to college. I wish we’d of had a night to feel special after all our hard work.
I too am on a low wage and until recently was on my own so have had to do it this way, spreading the cost. It just seems strange that his parents hadn’t factored this in. And if they’ve found a limo that will do a prom night then they've struck lucky, round here they’ve stopped doing prom! And alcohol is strictly after party, usually in some or other parents field! (Another one who goes to s school with some VERY monied dc’s, - many going to private 6th form).
At least grandson won’t be wanting hair, make up, nails and for some parents spray tan - be glad he’s male!!!!!

Slazengerbag · 27/04/2019 09:00

What’s your grandson doing after GCSEs? When my son had his prom last year we looked at suits and primark had some great ones at very reasonable prices. We ended up buying a more expensive one and because of the course he is doing at college he has to wear a suit at least once a fortnight. We have certainly got our money’s worth out of it.

The shirt and tie we got from primark for a few pounds.

With the alcohol, the school didn’t allow it at the prom but they did drink at the after party. We got ds 4 cans which he was happy with. The car was about the same price as your grandsons and we picked them up from the after party.

I would be surprised that your daughter and sil didn’t know about the prom and he suddenly mentioned it. They have been very common for a while now.

YeOldeTrout · 27/04/2019 09:02

£60 for 30 miles in a Limo doesn't sound bad. I'm confused.

GreenTulips · 27/04/2019 09:03

Also the after prom is where they drink! Not prom.
Lifts home are arranged by the college students who can drive - or parents collect and make sure they all get home

After prom sites are known to the police and they are patrolled (local parks and beaches)

mummmy2017 · 27/04/2019 09:06

Do you have jobs you need doing so you can hire him, then in exchange pay for the car hire.

It is totally worth it. .watching them all arrive and him going with his friends is the bit you see.... Mine still talk about it after ten years.

Atalune · 27/04/2019 09:09

It’s a standard thing now. I don’t really know what you’re asking though.

If they can’t afford it, then that’s that.

A suit is an investment and will last.

ZaZathecat · 27/04/2019 09:09

That's £600, Trout, not £60.
A cheap Primartk suit is fine, and just don't use the stupid limo!

EleanorReally · 27/04/2019 09:14

is the prom quite soon?
they know about the prom at least 6 months in advance, if not forever

it is just one night,
at least it is a suit and not a dress, hair, makeup

do you between you know anyone with an exciting vehicle for his journey?

Livedandlearned · 27/04/2019 09:16

Matalan have nice suits also, and like Slazengerbag said it's an investment as he will probably wear it again.

Redcherries · 27/04/2019 09:16

I think its 600 between those sharing so 10 people 60 each? Thats how I read it as op mentions 'lads' having to find their own way home.

You can hire suits, or maybe start having a look at charity shops if he's open to that.

We got the prom invite yesterday, totally unexpected as our DD has had some health issues and I thought she would be over the allowed absence. So now I need to start planning!

EleanorReally · 27/04/2019 09:17

My own DS couldnt be persuaded and for my dd's i saved a long time in advance for the Dress

ASauvignonADay · 27/04/2019 09:17

Why are they holding it 30 miles away??

Livedandlearned · 27/04/2019 09:19

Atalune says also.

When ds had his prom we didn't really notice who arrived in what car. Some hired a limo between a group of them and shared the cost and some just arrived in their parents cars.

Original poster

Dowser · 27/04/2019 10:10

Yes that’s correct. ..it’s £600 between 10 of them ...so £60 each for a one way trip only

OP posts:

EleanorReally · 27/04/2019 10:18

Does your grandson work at all?
can they owe you
or can he owe you?

englishdictionary · 27/04/2019 10:18

Why has he dropped a pbomb? It's not a surprise at this stage, unless he didn't think he would be able to go but now it's getting closer is hoping he can?

The limo, he doesn't have to go in it. The suit, can be picked up second hand or some places do quite cheap suits new.

Don't know the answer to your question 'what do other mothers think?'

Think about what? The prom? The limo? The suit? The distance?

EleanorReally · 27/04/2019 10:18

If you buy him the suit can you buy it as a birthday present?

EleanorReally · 27/04/2019 10:19

What I Think?

I dont disagree with it,
I wasnt happy when they did a prom at primary but a prom at secondary is a big thing that has been going for years.

Atalune · 27/04/2019 10:29

Could you motivate your grandson to do some jobs to earn money and you’ll match it?

Car washing
Lawn mowing
Picking up shopping or prescriptions
Dog walking

If he did 2/3 a week he could earn £10/15 a week and he would be well alway!

Qweenbee · 27/04/2019 10:32

Look on eBay. My ds has now grown out of his prom suit. Worn once. What a waste of money. There should be loads in the same situation I should imagine.

Original poster

Dowser · 29/04/2019 09:22

I’ve come up with a plan.
I’m going to pay for everything limo, suit, shoes, shirt , tie, ticket to event and spending money

But
He’s got a budget of £300.

If he comes in under budget, he gets to keep the change.
It’s his 16 th birthday in June,
So that’s his birthday sorted.
(He normally gets £30)

OP posts:

Original poster

Dowser · 29/04/2019 09:29

I over guesstimated the distance it’s way out of town, big country house estate ...it’s only 15 miles but. As it takes about 30 mins I thought it was further..

OP posts:

IWannaSeeHowItEnds · 29/04/2019 09:52

That sounds like a lovely present.
I disagree that the suit is an investment and he can wear it again - it depends. My ds outgrew his almost immediately, so only wore it once. So if you think he hasn't finished growing I'd advise not spending too much on it.
The prom thing is still quite new in this country, do I'm not really surprised his parents weren't expecting it. It was only on my radar when my second ds was in 6th form - oldest ds had no interest and said he didn't want to go, so we had no idea it was a big deal.

EleanorReally · 29/04/2019 09:57

Good plan.
Really generous and kind of you

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