DH minimising what you go through in childbirth?

[Namechangeymcnamechange11]

Anyone else had this?
On the whole, my labour was fine, bloody long, but all went as hoped. DH saw it all, crowning and everything as midwife was sat next to him at the side of the birth pool.
Had stitches in the usual manner, albeit some discussion between midwife and doctor as to whether it was a 2nd or 3rd degree tear. Second degree agreed on in the end.
DH has since been minimising what I went through in birth and it's really hacking me off.
He was bloody awful in the days after, no interest in getting up in the night to help etc I was an emotional mess as I struggled to get DS breastfeeding and was expressing and bottle-feeding for a while.
He needed a minor procedure on his penis a few months ago under local anesthesia and now figures that was comparable to childbirth. He has tried comparing the two several times before being shot down.
He also recently told someone I had a first degree tear! Obviously he's not a medical professional etc, but he's still a highly trained first aider.
Am I over reacting or would you be annoyed too?

Just me then

Shove a watermelon up his arse, get an industrial sander on his nipples then clamp them every couple of hours with bulldog clips. Then wake him up every two to three hours through the night.

Also play mind tricks to make him weepy telling him he's failing and not good enough. He should be thinner, coping better and look after his appearance more.

Even with an ultra supportive husband, having a baby was like that for me.

Smile, nod. Whatever..

I have had similar conversations with dh after he had the snip.
He really doesn't have a fucking clue.

However, I do quite like him so he can stay.

He is probably minimising it to himself to justify his laziness in not getting up.

I think some men might minimise it because they feel guilt at what their partners went through. Or perhaps they just see that we usually get through it ok so they assume it can't have been that bad. I was pretty traumatised for a while after both my births (one emergency section, one with a third degree tear) and I don't think DH really got it because the final outcome was two healthy babies and none of us were ever in any danger. I got a bit annoyed and told him in no uncertain terms but I think you then get subsumed by caring for a newborn and it's one of those things that doesn't get discussed.

I have no explanation but wanted to chime in that no, you're not overreacting. He's a jackass. Not sure what your plans are but there's no way I'd be willing to have any further children with someone who holds those views. Is that what he wants?

A friend of mine, before she had her first baby said ' Oh I will be fine in labour, I have run marathons you know!'
I was thinking, well if running a marathon is like shoving a cash register up your hole, then you are all set so.

She found out that it is nothing like a marathon. Unfortunately, your husband will never find out so you are going to have to put him straight.

Do it once and spectacularly.

I imagine that minimising it justifies his laziness, rather than he actually believes it.
So if it was me I’d deal with the behaviour rather than the shit he talks around it. Be clear about what his responsibilities are and what you need him to do.

Hook him up to a labour simulator machine - see how he feels after that.

He's doing it to minimise/justify his lazy behaviour.

What was he like as a husband before you had a DC together?

He also recently told someone I had a first degree tear! Obviously he's not a medical professional etc, but he's still a highly trained first aider.

I'm all for demystifying childbirth if the woman wishes to, but why on earth was he talking about the extent of the damage to your vagina (who to?!), apparently without your input?

Mines like that but he wasn't a lazy prick after so I'll forgive him. I'm pregnant again and he does say " you said it was a piece of piss last time so dont know why your worrying". I did say that because I was high on gas and air. It was an easy labour by labour standards but it was still fucking painful!

Although I'd worked on farms helped pigs and sheep give birth, I was completely unprepared for my wife's labour. She did really well, but it was tough. I felt helpless and useless. I loved helping with our daughter, but felt I couldn't put her through that again. Nothing, including bike accidents and operations was ever that traumatic, for me. Despite being pretty rufty tufty I cried with relief when both were ok. Probably the dawning of my really appreciating her. That someone would undergo that made me love her more than ever.

Aw, you're nice @Onesmallstepforaman! My first child birth was horrendous, everything went wrong. My husband hated it as he felt completely useless as he could do nothing to help me. Apparently at one point I was piteously asking him to make it stop. Second one was a doodle 😳

Men just don't have a fucking clue. I regard myself as lucky in having a very short labour for a first baby (5 hours) when I had my Dd,35 years ago,with no complications,or stitches. BUT...it was still easily the most painful thing I have ever experienced in my life.

Next time he does it blow up about it and throw him out. It’s a basic lack of respect.