I’m thinking about my babies *[Trigger warning added by MNHQ: concerns baby loss]

[Isitweekendyet]

Just that really, I should have five, DS included. But I don’t - just the one.

Jacob - 16/03/2013. I suffered a bleed and he was dead, had to deliver him stillborn.
BG - 15/07/2015. ‘Just a miscarriage’ is what I tell people, because technically it was less painful than the birth but it still fucking hurts. We never found out their gender but I still like to think of her as my baby girl.
My lovely little boy - 2016. He’s three now and my absolute light, don’t know what I would do without him.
Our twins, Eli and Freya - 8th February 2018. We were just a few weeks short of finding out their sexes, I like to think of one of each.

I rarely talk about them in real life, most of the time I like to pretend they never existed because the pain is unbearable, only DH and I know their names. My family say some awfully hurtful things but I’m awful at voicing my feelings.

I’ve been asked five times in the last fortnight if we’d have another and I really don’t think I have it in me.

But I have my son and that’s enough, more than enough, I am blessed.

But tonight, I’m mourning them and I’m missing them and I’m loving them, wherever they may be x

So sorry to hear of the losses of your beautiful babies. Must be heartbreaking for you. People can be so thoughtless at times. You will always have your little ones in your heart. Big hugs. Xxx

I have two very wonderful daughters, but if they'd all been born safe and well I'd have five children.

Sorry for your losses OP

I lost my baby girl the day before she was due. She was stillborn. Feels so unfair to go through that one but you have been through so much.

Have you ever considered going to a Sands meeting or even visiting the forums online. I have found it helps to talk to people who have been through similar.

This is a safe place to talk about your babies if you want to, too

X

Sending you love.

I’ve been cuddling my baby daughter today knowing how lucky I am to have her, and my two wonderful step children, after losing 5 babies on the way to get here. We only named one of them, but they’re always with you in your heart

I’m sorry your family have been hurtful.

If all mine were here I'd have 4.

I have 1. And she was hard won and I couldn't have any more for medical reasons.

Talk here, but also consider sands and/or mc association etc

My eldest would be turning 28 this year, anniversaries and due dates can still catch me out.

Sorry for your losses - you picked lovely names too.

I lost my Calum or Grace at just eight weeks, but they are never forgotten.

Sorry for all of your losses 💐

Life can be so cruel sometimes

I think about my two a lot. Both lost in the second trimester, one boy and one girl. Sometimes I cry about them and that helps me.

So sorry for yours and everyone else’s losses, it’s nice to be able to talk about them sometimes so feel free

to all of you who have lost your babies

OP did you post on the MC boards when you lost Jacob? I think we 'met'. I lost Jack on 08/09/2012. My username was shortened to Martha.

If you are who I think you are, you gave me so much support and I hope you felt I reciprocated when you lost Jacob.

I have 2 boys. But actually with Jack I have three. People ask if I would try again for a girl no. I would give my world to have my 3 boys. My 2 boys give me so much love. DS2 came after Jack. I think he knows this as the love I get from him is different.

Think about a of your babies. They are all yours forever. And if you get the sympathetic head tilt then ignore it.

Also it’s entirely your decision whether you wanted to have another baby at any time

Not sure how you respond to people with comments like that though unfortunately

I should have 6 babies by now, I have 1, my son. He was my 4th and the newest pregnancy, two pregnancies were twins, and I lost the first 3 all before 12 weeks but it eats me.

But I try to see it as if I hadn't lost those pregnancies, I wouldn't have my son now who I absolutely adore. Rainbow babies and the emotions they bring can be difficult. I hope you find as much peace as you can whilst remembering your little ones.

Thank you all for your kind words. I had a very wobbly weekend but I’m feeling a lot better going into the new week.

I’m all so sorry for your losses, it is a complicated grief no one could ever comprehend until they have gone through it.

You all inspire me, so once again thank you.

@vivadixie unfortunately that wasn’t me, I didn’t join mumsnet until after my son was born. She sounds like a lovely lady though.

I find it a bit sad really that there has to be a trigger warning in here
Kinda commanding the stigma around this type of loss as you need to warn people before bending able to speak of it

Very sad really for a parenting website

Op thinking of your Babies too ❤️

I lost four too OP. I have one who made it, like you. Xxx

Thank you @lardilizard

I must agree re the warning. I opened the thread not expecting to see the phrase baby loss in the headline - it stung more than it should have done.