Please help wise mumsnetters, I’m close to losing the plot. Sorry in advance for the essay!
DS is 19 months and until recently was generally a happy, loving and playful little boy. Obviously he had his moments but he was always smiling and really lovely to be around.
For the last few weeks he has been having major tantrums on a daily basis, usually in the evening and often at mealtimes. Basically he will scream, cry, rage, hit etc no matter what we do. For example he will point at his dinner but reject it/ throw it when it’s given to him but then scream for it when we take it away. This can carry on ad finitum. Or he’ll put his hands up for a hug but then wail to get down as soon as we pick him up- and repeat. It’s like whatever you do he wants the opposite.
Sometimes he will hit us, sometimes even hit his own face. It’s usually triggered by not being allowed something he wants but anything can set him off. He understands a lot but isn’t talking much yet (only has a handful of words) which doesn’t help communicate as he can’t tell us what’s wrong.
Tonight we had a 40 minute tantrum over dinner. He seemed to want food but then kept shaking his head and screaming, but then getting hysterical when we took it away. In the end he just ate some cheese and yoghurt and has finally calmed down but he was totally hysterical no matter what we did. I find it quite upsetting to watch, not to mention stressful, but am conscious not to let that show and try to stay calm. I have tried totally ignoring it, offering cuddles, moving him to a different room/ place, leaving him with his dad but nothing seems to work until he just decides to calm down.
He is also extremely clingy to me at the moment - I can hardly move without him clinging onto me and crying/wailing if I leave the room but once I’m gone he’s fine.
Nothing obvious has changed recently so am assuming it’s just an age/stage thing but I really am struggling to cope with it as I also have a 7 month old and am an anxious person at the beat of times.
One of the worst things is that he only seems to be like this with me and DH. He goes to nursery 3 afternoons a week and has a lovely nanny the other days and he is mostly fine with them - in fact nursery commented today what a delight he’s been 
.
I know that supposedly as his parents we’re his ‘safe space’ but it’s so depressing. I feel like I just make him unhappy. Lately he’s either crying at me leaving or having a meltdown over the slightest thing.
He’s also developed a weird habit lately with certain foods every now and then which he’ll just hold in his mouth and refuse to either spit out or actually eat. I think that might be something to do with all the teething but not sure.
Anyone I’ve discussed it with reckons it’s all normal toddler stuff but I’m starting to panic that he’s going to have some kind of behavioural issue.
I miss my happy boy and feel like a terrible mum. I know tantrums are normal but It’s heartbreaking watching him so distressed and I don’t know what to do 