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Original poster

Working dad

8 replies

Tom357 · 26/04/2019 12:34

So I’ve just got back from a business trip, haven’t really seen my family properly for a little over 8weeks, finally saw my children briefly and my oldest Charlie he’s 3 the 30th April, just looked at me like I was a stranger which killed me inside.... when he was 4 months old the mother in law caused us to split up and they stopped me from seeing Charlie for around 6 months until there was a court order.... anyway this is in the past we sorted things out and now we have a perfect baby daughter, it was just the way Charlie looked at me killed me, has anyone been through this or can anyone advise

OP posts:
ChillUrBeans · 26/04/2019 12:52

I am assuming that you have actually been working away for the 8 weeks and not just some of it?

I am a bit confused, are you with the mom? If so I assume you have at least been able to talk to her over the last week? If you do then why not try skyping or facetiming etc instead so that your son can see you and hear your voice at same time - then it won't be so hard?

ChillUrBeans · 26/04/2019 12:52

Sorry should have said spoken to her over last 8 weeks

Original poster
Tom357 · 26/04/2019 13:11

I’ve been working away for the past 8 weeks or so, some nights I come back home So I spend a few hours during the morning with them in the morning, I FaceTime and wats app video call every day and night, the past two weeks I’ve not been back home, but I have video called to say good morning and goodnight... honestly the working away has put a massive strain on our relationship and the thing this morning with Charlie has just made it 100 times worse and I’m starting to question is it worth it

OP posts:
FiremanKing · 26/04/2019 13:26

Children of army personnel are brought up in this environment.

Charlie is only young and as he gets older will understand that daddy loves him but works away from home for long durations.

My friend (male) is in the music industry and his relationships in the past have failed not because he was away touring for weeks/months on end but when he came home he just wanted the quiet life and didn’t want to go anywhere or so anything. Understandable for him but not for his family who were keen to have him home and do stuff together.

When you’re home are you attentive and so things to help your partner and do things with your children?

Original poster
Tom357 · 26/04/2019 13:31

If my other half says she wants to go out we do, she says she needs this I go get it, every Sunday we take Charlie out, even if I’m too tired to do anything last Sunday we took him to RAF cosford, just seeing his little face light up was bliss and worth it

OP posts:
FiremanKing · 26/04/2019 13:50

Sounds like you’re doing all the right things but working away is often tough especially with young children.

It should get easier as they get older as they understand things more and become more independent making it easier for your partner.

Communication with your wife is key.

Chrisema · 26/04/2019 13:54

Look for another job or reduce things, my children now 24, 20 and 15 years now tell me they really missed me growing up and I wish I could go back to change the damage good luck

Original poster
Tom357 · 26/04/2019 13:58

I wish I could change jobs, but it’s my business, the long trips and Lind days were only supposed to be for a short time until I get more staff in, now it’s bragged on too long... we always communicate and air anything worrying us, I just don’t want to tell my other half as it’s my own fault

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