I don’t know how to make sense of this (poss trigger warning)

[IAmSoFree]

Something happened to me last night and I’m really struggling to process it, would appreciate anyone just taking the time to tell me their thoughts or any advice. Disclaimer; sexual assault related
I had sex with a guy I met online last night, after a couple of (non alcoholic) drinks. It was prearranged and I’d spent time talking to him and talking through boundaries etc. I made it very clear that I would only be having safe sex, partly because I don’t take the Pill etc. To cut a long story short, despite me making it clear a few times during the act itself, he carried on having sex with me without a condom and came inside me.
He apologised profusely afterwards, said he misread the situation etc, thought it was ok, he’s had the snip and is clean so I shouldn’t worry.
I let him know he’d completely broken my trust, stepped over my boundaries that I’d made very clear and asked him to leave.
I actually don’t know what to do with myself now, I’m in bits, how the hell do I ever trust someone again? And I know it’s my fault, having sex with a stranger and meeting him the way I did.

Take away all the details

You asked him not to do something
He did it

Not your fault

There has been a case in the news where an escort went through exactly the same and if I recall correctly the perpetrator was given a hefty sentence and charged with rape?

I’m so sorry you went through that

You could go to the police and report it as rape, because that's what it was. You consented to sex with a condom not without. There was a case the other day when some guy was jailed for doing just that.

Go to your GP for a check -up. And all about counseling. It will help you process it.

Above all, be kind to yourself. Hugs x

This seems so common these days. I broke up with a guy because he was obsessed with taking it off and would ‘joke’ that he had, just to test the waters. Meant I was constantly on guard during sex and has put me off dating tbh. Been through some horrible situations and it wasn’t worth it for me.

It is classed as rape

you poor thing.

it was NOT your fault

It's called stealthing and is a form of rape.

You have done NOTHING wrong please get the help and support you need

I would be worried that he hasn’t ‘had the snip’.

I’m so sorry. This isn’t your fault, he is a disgusting rapist.

On a side note I would definitely get the morning after pill as soon as possible, as I’m sure you’re already planning to.

Thank you so much for your answers, it means a lot, and the validation that what happened wasn’t right.